The Progeniture Conundrum
by Daedaleopsis
Summary: Penny and the guys can't believe it when Sheldon receives a court order to take a paternity test. Is this the reason he's always been so close-mouthed about his past? The truth is stranger than any of them could have imagined.  *Shenny*
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I don't own The Big Bang Theory, or any of the characters... just the fantasies in my head._

Penny was always amazed how often she met her two next-door neighbors at the mailbox. Then again, given Leonard's obvious crush on her, maybe it was less of a coincidence and more by design. Still, that would hardly explain Sheldon's presence. She glanced over at the taller of her two friends. Not for the first time, she thought it was rather a shame that Sheldon seemed completely oblivious to the opposite gender. She remembered the very first day she met the two of them, how Sheldon had glowed when she complimented his work and given her the sweetest shy smile. She'd thought there'd been a connection between them, but then a whole lot of crazy had ensued. Now, almost three years later, she just thought of him as her weird friend.

Penny glanced down at the mix of catalogs and bills in her hand… nothing very interesting there. As she reached up to close her mailbox, some faint noise caught her attention. She turned her head. Leonard was flipping through some scientific magazine, but Sheldon was staring wide-eyed at a piece of paper he was holding. _Whoa, wait a minute, something's seriously wrong_ , Penny thought. His face was almost as white as the paper. Before she could react, he swayed and toppled over.

Both the crash and Penny's scream jerked Leonard away from his article and back to reality. He turned to see the woman of his dreams kneeling before the prone figure of his roommate. Although of course he was concerned about Sheldon, he couldn't help the flash of irritation that once more Sheldon was getting all the attention, just like he always did. He never did get why women (grad students, especially) threw themselves at his roommate when he had the social skills of a preschooler.

"Sheldon needs help. Go get him some water," Penny ordered.

Leonard sighed. All this fuss over what was probably just allergies. "I could slap his face. That might make him come round," he offered a little too eagerly.

Penny shot him a look of utter scorn and turned back to Sheldon. Curious, Leonard picked up the paper that had fallen to the ground next to Sheldon's unconscious form. As he read it, his eyes grew wide. "What the frak," he said faintly.

Penny looked up at him, and her expression darkened as she saw what he was doing. "Are you seriously reading your roommate's mail while he's lying unconscious on the ground?" she hissed. Leonard was saved from having to respond by a groan from Sheldon. She helped him into a sitting position.

"What... where..." Sheldon mumbled, obviously still disoriented.

"Shh, it's okay, sweetie," Penny soothed. "You're in the lobby. I think you fainted."

"Yeah, I think I'm having a hard time processing this myself," Leonard cut in belligerently. "Sheldon, how the hell do you have a kid?" he demanded, waving the letter.

Penny gasped, and Sheldon's eyes rolled back in his skull once more. His head fell back onto her lap. When he came to once more, it became clear that Sheldon was in no condition to talk about the contents of the letter, so she and Leonard helped him upstairs to his apartment. She made him some hot cocoa and tucked him into bed. Then she came out into the living room to talk to Leonard.

"What did that letter say?" she demanded. "How on earth could Dr. Whackadoodle, the man who hates shaking hands, have a kid?"

"The letter's from the Texas court system. It says he's ordered to undergo genetic testing to establish paternity. I would've thought it was impossible for him to have a child, but apparently not, from the way he reacted."

She frowned. "Yeah, I guess if there was absolutely no way he could have a kid, he wouldn't have fainted. Did you know anything about this? Did Sheldon ever mention any old girlfriends?"

"We're talking about the same Sheldon, right?" Leonard asked with an incredulous laugh. "He didn't have any friends at all before I moved in," he sneered.

Penny bit her lip. "It's been years since he lived in Texas. Sheldon's kid could be almost a teenager by now." She tried hard not to laugh at the mental image of him trying to deal with a moody, hormonal teenaged daughter, but quickly sobered. Sheldon simply didn't have it in him to deal with a child. Whatever happened to him was sure to have an impact on their entire group of friends.

Leonard, Howard, Raj and Penny were gathered in the living room of apartment 4A as requested by Sheldon. Leonard had barely waited until he got back to the apartment to text the news to his friends. After taking few hours to gather his thoughts and compose himself (at least, that was what his friends assumed he was doing ensconced in his room), Sheldon let them know that he preferred to address their concerns as a group. They were all dying of curiosity to hear what Sheldon had to say about the letter from the lawyer. Quite a bit of money was riding on it too, as the boys hadn't been able to resist making bets about his news. Howard was convinced Sheldon had managed to clone himself. Raj imagined a tragic, forbidden love story. Leonard had convinced himself it was simply a case of mistaken identity.

Sheldon entered the room, hands clasped behind his back, and immediately the whispers died down. "Thank you all for coming to this brief informational meeting. Please hold all of your questions until the end, and naturally, you must raise your hand to be acknowledged," Sheldon spoke up. The boys exchanged glances, and Penny rolled her eyes before they turned their attention back to Sheldon.

He began, "Fourteen years ago, when I was earning my master's degree, I was approached by another graduate student. Her name was Laura McMillan, and she was researching two genetic markers which she believed were responsible for genius-level intelligence. As one of the few _bona fide_ geniuses on campus, she approached me to ask for my assistance."

"Apparently, he gave it to her pretty good," Howard murmured under his breath, earning a glare from Sheldon and a smack upside the head from Penny.

"Ms. McMillan asked me for some... reproductive cells, which I agreed to provide. Of course, I presented her with a contract detailing what she could and could not do with my genetic material, and she signed it. Except for a few emails describing her inconclusive results, I haven't heard from her in almost twelve years."

"Let me get this straight..." Leonard began.

Sheldon cleared his throat pointedly. "Does anyone who has their _hand up_ wish to ask a question?"

Leonard sighed, raised his hand and said, "Let me get this straight. You donated sperm to a crazy grad student and thought a contract would make magically make everything okay?"

"She assured me she had no interest in using it for reproductive purposes and only wished to analyze my DNA," Sheldon retorted.

"She lied," Leonard said tiredly, looking up from where he had propped his head on his hand.

"So if you have a contract, she can't sue you for child support, right?" Penny asked. Unfortunately, she knew far too much about court battles over custody and child support from her older sister, whose marriage had disintegrated after she "accidentally" shot her husband as he was sneaking back into their house through a window at two in the morning.

"That is the most likely scenario, although I will have to research paternity and child support laws specific to Texas," Sheldon replied.

"Dude, that's still harsh," Raj commented, holding the light beer which enabled him to be a part of the conversation while Penny was in the room.

"I have a cousin who's a lawyer—" Howard began.

"Whom I sincerely believe would be of absolutely no use whatsoever, unless he or she happens to be Texan _and_ specializes in child support. Does he... or she?" Sheldon faltered, stymied by the awkwardness of his attempt to be grammatically correct.

Howard shook his head and looked down at the floor.

"Sheldon, nobody's talking about the elephant in the room," Penny protested. "If you do have a child, don't you have some responsibility to the kid to be in their life in some way?"

"Absolutely not," Sheldon snapped, looking horrified. "This is exactly the reason that courts and the legal system exist, to protect the innocent. I have done nothing wrong, and I shouldn't be held responsible for someone else's poor judgment. This meeting is adjourned." With that, he retreated to his room, leaving his friends to pointlessly continue discussing the subject without him.

Penny had been silent for a while, just listening to the guys gossip. Finally, she spoke up. "I need the three of you to do something for me."

"Sure, anything," Leonard said eagerly. Howard rolled his eyes behind Leonard's back.

"I want all of you to promise me you won't tell anyone else about this yet," she said.

There was a lot of uncomfortable squirming and shifty-eyed expressions. She sighed in disappointment. "Facebook?"

"And Twitter, maybe some texts, and a few emails," Howard muttered.

"Let me see," she demanded, holding out her hand palm up. Shamefaced, the three men handed over their phones. "Okay, I think we can work with this," she said at last, after several minutes of scrolling through their messages. "So far, you guys were focused on the idea that Sheldon might be a dad. By the way, those comments you were making earlier about cloning were really rude. He may be as awkward as a wooden puppet without strings, but he's your friend. He needs you to have his back." She sighed as she handed back their phones. "I see none of you got to the part yet where he was basically just a sperm donor. At least you had the decency to wait until he left the room to start gossiping about him," she drawled sarcastically. "So now you're going to promise me that you won't tell anyone about this whole test-tube baby thing." Over loud groans and protests from the guys, she continued. "Look, we all know Sheldon's kinda crazy, but he's also our friend. He has no idea how to relate to people, so lots of them, like the rest of your nerd buddies at Caltech, think it's okay to be mean to him. He's already gonna take enough heat from this rumor. Maybe if people believe he used to have a girlfriend and a life, they'll treat him differently."

Reluctantly, and not without implicit threats of junior rodeo action from Penny, the guys all gave her their word.


	2. Chapter 2

Sheldon took the DNA test as ordered by the Texas court system. The results would be returned within a few weeks, so there was nothing else he could do but wait. Despite what he had said to Penny, he felt very anxious about the process and was therefore short-tempered and surly to everyone around him. He was the subject of some very intense gossip and teasing on the Caltech campus, but as time passed and nothing happened, people lost interest. Many of his colleagues believed it had been an unfounded rumor. Almost three weeks passed before he finally got the phone call he had been both awaiting and dreading.

The lawyer who contacted him had a kindly, avuncular manner and told Sheldon to call him Bob. The test had come back with a 99.5% likelihood that Sheldon was the father. Now that paternity was confirmed, Bob was legally allowed to give him more details about the situation.

"You have a son named Caleb. He's about sixteen months old now-"

"But... but he's just an infant!" Sheldon cried, shocked. "How is that possible?"

"Please, just hear me out, Mr. Cooper," Bob replied calmly.

"That's _Dr_. Cooper, PhD," Sheldon snapped.

Bob clearly had a lot of experience dealing with people under stress, because he simply corrected himself and kept going. "Dr. Cooper, then. Your son's mother passed away a few months ago from lymphoma. She has no relatives who are able to care for the baby. She does have an aunt and uncle, but both of them are in poor health. I got to know Laura a little before she passed away. What I can tell you is that she regretted the way things turned out, and she never had any notion of asking you for child support. If she hadn't gotten cancer, I don't know if you would've ever known you had a son. She left a letter for you. I'll send it to you, along with some paperwork I need you to complete and the information on the custody hearing."

Sheldon listened to the final details and then hung up the phone. He didn't know what he was going to do. All his mental scenarios had involved an older child, one who had some capacity to reason. Many of his fantasies had involved the DNA test absolving him, or a judge upholding his finely-crafted contract, or the court deciding he wasn't legally obligated to have anything to do with the purported offspring. In fact, he hadn't really tried to imagine anything about the child at all. It would have made it seem all too real. But now he had a son, and that son had a name: Caleb. Sooner or later, he knew he would have to meet Caleb and possibly even have some say in the child's future.

Sheldon gathered his friends together once more to tell them about the child. After they had heard the news, there was a long moment of stunned silence. Penny laid a hand gently on his arm and asked if he was all right. He had no answer for her, but for once, he didn't pull away from her. When she offered to sing "Soft Kitty", he gave in with hardly any argument at all. Finding out he was the father of an toddler definitely made him _feel_ sick.

The paperwork from the lawyer arrived by certified mail a few days later. Sheldon retreated to the privacy of his room to open the envelope. As he did so, a small rectangle of paper fell out. He picked it up and froze, seeing from the back that it was photo paper. Cautiously, he turned it over and stared at the image of an child, perhaps a year old, with dark wisps of hair and a delicately pointed chin. The baby's eyes were dark brown, likely the legacy of his mother. Other than the color of his eyes, he looked exactly like Sheldon did at that age. At the bottom of the photo, a white sticker proclaimed him Caleb R. McMillan, followed by his birthdate and some sort of serial number. Sheldon broke out in a cold sweat and his vision seemed to tunnel until all he could see was the baby's face.

"I can't do it," he murmured, grasping the edge of his dresser for support. "I can't."

He flipped the photo over so all he could see was the white backing. Focusing on the enclosed paperwork was a lot less stressful. After taking a quick look at the forms, Sheldon withdrew a white envelope that had his name written on it in an unfamiliar, feminine script.

He opened it and discovered it was a letter from the late Laura McMillan. It read:

 _Dear Sheldon,_

 _I can't imagine the turmoil I have caused in your life, and I know I owe you one hell of an apology. I guess you're wondering why I did what I did. Let me start at the beginning. I met you briefly when I was working on my master's thesis, trying to isolate genetic markers for intelligence, and you were gracious_ enough to help me with my initial genetic sampling _. My graduate research didn't produce very promising results, but my hypothesis was intriguing enough to merit a grant to continue my work. I stayed on at the university, working through doctoral and then post-doctoral research. My life was entirely focused on my work. I didn't date, and I hardly had any friends, but it was my choice, and I was happy that way._

 _Then three years ago, my mother was killed in a car accident. It made me think about how much she meant to me and how much she inspired me. I wanted to be that inspiration for someone else. I remembered you from all those years ago. You stood out in my mind because you were so passionate about learning, so gifted and so driven. That was why I chose you to be the biological father instead of an anonymous donor at a sperm bank. I wanted my baby's father to be someone I admired, someone who shared my love of learning._

 _The irony was that after I became pregnant when my obstetrician ran some initial blood tests, he discovered that the baby was healthy, but there was something wrong with me. As you now know, I have cancer. The logical thing to do would have been to have an abortion, undergo chemotherapy, and then try to get pregnant after my cancer was beaten. But I was already in my late thirties by then, and I knew it might be my last chance to have a baby. So I decided to wait until after Caleb was born to have the chemo._

 _As my pregnancy progressed, the cancer did too. I was on bed rest during the most of my pregnancy. I'm telling you that not so you'll feel sorry for me, but because I want you to know how hard I fought to give my son a chance at life. When I finally saw him, he was so beautiful and perfect. I knew everything I had suffered was worth it. I had two days alone with him, just the two of us, and then I had to hand him over to a foster family. They brought him to visit me in the hospital while I was getting my next round of chemo, but I could only see him through the window because my immune system was compromised. Every time I saw him, he'd gotten bigger. He was growing so fast. It tore me up inside, knowing how much of his life I was missing._

 _After three rounds of chemo, I was finally released from the hospital. I was still too weak to care for Caleb, but if my cancer was gone, I hoped I could bring him home soon. But I never got better, and after three months, my blood work showed that the cancer had returned and was more aggressive than ever. My oncologist told me I had about three more months to live. That's when I made my will, naming you as Caleb's next of kin. I know you didn't ask to be a father. I'm sure finding out was a huge shock for you, and you're probably angry about the choices I made. All I ask is that you not blame Caleb for what I did. I never meant for any of this to happen, but you'll soon be the only family he has. He needs you. You're his father. Please, please take care of him._

 _-Laura McMillan_

Sheldon's hands shook as he placed the letter back down on the counter. This was all a mistake, just a huge misunderstanding. The posthumous pleas from the child's mother didn't move him in any way. As far as he was concerned, she had made a foolish decision under duress, for which he should in no way be held responsible. In fact, the more he thought about it, the more convinced he was that a judge would agree with him. His trust had been violated, the verbal contract he had with Laura had been broken, and her conduct was unethical, not to mention reprehensible. Enumerating his arguments in his head finally enabled Sheldon to calm down. He would go to Texas, surrender his parental rights and allow Caleb to be adopted by someone else, probably a nice couple who had been unable to have children of their own. When he put it that way, it sounded like he was actually doing someone a favor. Certainly, he was convinced that it would be best for the boy. He couldn't think of anyone less suited than he was to raise a child, and doubtless all of his friends would agree with that statement as well.

Then his eyes were drawn to the photo on the counter. He picked up a corner and examined the delicate features which were almost an exact match to his own baby photos from that age. He fought a surge of nausea as he remembered his own unhappy childhood. Despite his earlier bravado, he knew there was still a chance he would be forced to take custody of this toddler. His own father had scarcely been a good role model, and yet that was the only example he had of fatherhood. George Cooper Sr. had bounced around between jobs. His alcoholism and unethical conduct had resulted in a patchy employment history, punctuated by long bouts of heavy drinking. When Sheldon was four, his father had taken once him into work. By the end of the day, Sheldon had accidentally gotten his father fired for announcing that the cash register was short by over a hundred dollars. He had no idea that it was his own dad who had been dipping into the till. Then again, he doubted he would have been able to keep his mouth shut about the crime, even if he had known that his father was the culprit. That was the only father figure that Sheldon had ever known. Given that he'd never had a positive role model, the idea of being a father himself, even if only as a biological sperm donor, terrified him.

He glanced at the face-down photo again. "I can't," he whispered to himself.


	3. Chapter 3

The next day, Sheldon called in sick and spent the day huddled under his covers. He couldn't stop thinking about the picture of Caleb and how completely unsuited and unprepared he was to care for a child. Sometime late in the morning, there was a soft knock on his door. It swung open as Penny poked her head into the room.

"Hey, sweetie. Leonard told me you weren't feeling well," she said softly.

"You're in my room. People can't be in my room," Sheldon fretted.

"See, that kind of thing is exactly what we need to talk about," Penny replied. When there was no further response from Sheldon, she crossed the room and sat on the side of his bed. He pointedly ignored her.

"Look, I know that you sometimes act like an overgrown toddler, but that's got to stop. Having a baby means there's gonna be a lot of changes in your life. Once this kid gets here, you might not even have the luxury of hiding your head under the covers because you'll need to keep an eye on him."

Sheldon rolled over to look at Penny. "You seem to be laboring under the assumption that the Texas court system will force me to assume custody of the child. I think that's a wild conjecture on your part."

Penny was silent for a moment, then she said, "You know how you have all those safety drills and emergency preparedness kits? This is kind of like that. I know you don't want to get stuck raising a child, but you might have to. So it's better to be prepared, right?"

"I suppose you might have a point," Sheldon conceded in a low voice. He knew she was right, but he hated to admit it aloud.

"I hafta go get ready for work now, so I'll let you think about what I said. Do you want me to sing 'Soft Kitty' again before I go?"

"I'm not sick. 'Soft Kitty' is for when I'm sick," was Sheldon's muffled reply as he burrowed down into his blankets again.

"Taking a sick day is a kind of sick," Penny said with a smile.

He listened to her sing, but for once, he didn't feel comforted.

* * *

Sheldon discovered that he could stay at home and lie in bed all he wanted, but it did little to calm his nerves. In fact, things were worse with nothing to distract him from his dilemma, so the next day, he reported to work as usual. He emailed Dr. Gablehauser because he realized that he needed to at least inform his supervisor of his impending absence. If he was forced to take custody of the child, he would probably need to take more time off work under the Family Medical Leave Act.

Sheldon naively presumed that Gablehauser didn't know about his situation, but his purported fatherhood had actually been the juiciest gossip to go around the Caltech science department in months. When he came back to work the following day, he was bombarded with questions from everyone he knew and from a number of faculty with whom he had never so much as exchanged a greeting. He refused to dignify the prying of the "nosy nellies" with any response other than "no comment." What he didn't realize was that Penny had done him a favor by stopping his three friends from gossiping about him at work. After a while, the questioning died down when his co-workers realized they weren't going to get any more information out of any of either him or his friends. The truth was, until Sheldon's court date, there wasn't much to tell.

The custody hearing had been scheduled to take place in two weeks. Sheldon had decided to hire Bob the lawyer to represent him, as he was already familiar with the details of the case, as well as the late Ms. McMillan's will. If the judge decided that Sheldon was responsible for Caleb, he would have several days to visit with the child at the foster family's home. Hopefully, it would give Caleb some time to bond with his father before he had to take him home.

Sheldon had taken Penny's advice about preparing for the worst, which was how he viewed the idea of sudden fatherhood. Reluctantly, he asked Leonard to be prepared to find a new place to live should he have to take custody of the child. Raj helpfully offered to let Leonard crash at his place if necessary. He only had a studio apartment, but he told Leonard he could sleep on the sofa for a few weeks if he needed to find a new place. Leonard accepted the offer ungraciously. He couldn't believe Sheldon might ask him to move, even though he told everyone who would listen that he had no intention of sharing an apartment with a screaming brat.

* * *

Penny was getting ready to go out clubbing with some of her girl friends when she heard a knock on her door. She answered it to find Leonard on her doorstep, looking a little anxious.

"Hi, Penny. You look nice," he said absently. "Umm... can I come in for a minute?"

Curious, she stepped aside but warned him she needed to leave soon. He nodded and then looked around her apartment, ran a hand through his hair, and then took his glasses off and polished them on his hoodie. Penny sighed and tapped her foot impatiently.

"You said you had something you wanted to talk to me about," she prompted.

"Um, yeah, sure... you see, the thing is... the thing is… I'm not good with kids. Caleb just lost his mom, and he probably would respond better to a female presence... Do you see where I'm going with this?" he asked, squinting up hopefully at her.

"Why don't you just spell it out for me?" Penny said, narrowing her eyes. Whatever Leonard was trying to say, if it made him nervous, then it probably wasn't going to make her happy.

"I think that Sheldon needs someone to go with him to take custody of Caleb. Someone who doesn't have a lot of emotional baggage about their parents. Someone who's in touch with their emotions. You know... someone like you," Leonard said in a rush.

Penny stared at him for a moment. She hadn't even considered that Sheldon might want someone to go with him to Texas, and she had to be the last person Dr. Whackadoodle would want to go on a road trip with him.

"Nope. No way. Not gonna happen," she said emphatically.

Leonard's voice took on that unflattering, wheedling tone. "Please, Penny. You know Sheldon's told me I might need to move out. So I can't go because I might need to pack up my stuff and look for a new place and... and you're a _girl_ ," he said, as if that was argument enough.

Penny groaned and pressed the heels of her hands over her eyes. How did she guess that somehow she would get roped into helping Sheldon with this kid? The problem was that she couldn't argue with Leonard's basic premise: Sheldon needed someone with him who knew what to do with an infant. She wasn't the type to coo over a baby, but she had done her share of babysitting in high school to earn some extra cash. _Money_ , Penny thought suddenly, _that's my way out!_

"Oh gee, Leonard, you know I would do it, but I really can't afford the plane ticket or the time off work," Penny said insincerely.

"I'll buy your plane ticket," Leonard blurted out. "And I'll make Sheldon compensate you for the time you spend helping him with Caleb."

Penny's face fell. Crap, now she was all out of excuses. She thought for another moment, but nothing else came to mind. She gave a huge, exasperated sigh. "Fine, if Sheldon makes up the money from the waitressing shifts I'll miss, I guess I can go," she said ungraciously.

Leonard grinned. "Great! I'll go tell Sheldon." He scurried away. _Just like a rat_ , Penny thought darkly. She was not in a good mood. Heading back inside her apartment, she decided there was time for a glass of wine before she left to join her friends.

* * *

A week later, Sheldon and Penny were on a commuter train, heading for Texas. Sheldon was convinced that this train ride would be the only pleasurable part of the whole journey. His lawyer had already explained that the courts were typically unsympathetic to men who were perceived as "deadbeat dads", trying to wriggle out of their responsibilities to their children. It galled Sheldon that anyone might think of him either as a deadbeat _or_ a dad. How could anyone hold him responsible for a child conceived of a misappropriated genetic sample? Even the long train trip wasn't cheering him up as it should have, and he scrupulously avoided Penny's attempts to get him to talk about his feelings. The court date loomed in front of him like a juggernaut. He couldn't see beyond it and he couldn't make any plans for the future until that fated day. The thought of carting home some toddler was more than he could bear, and his stomach was so twisted up in knots that he hardly ate anything the entire trip, despite Penny's coaxing.

His journey ended all too soon. When they disembarked, he appreciated that Penny was with him as she was able to rent a car and drive him to the hotel where he had reserved adjoining rooms. He was so nervous that he almost fainted when they drove past the Hunt County courthouse, where a judge would decide his fate tomorrow. When that happened, Penny noticed his pallor and scolded him for not taking better care of himself. She somehow persuaded him to eat something light, and after that, he did feel a little better. It confirmed his choice of her as a traveling companion over Leonard. If the worst happened, he knew she would help him deal with Caleb, not only for his sake, but for the child's as well. Perhaps it was just ingrained in her double-X chromosomes to be nurturing. He couldn't be sure, but how else could one explain how Penny was always taking care of him?

The court hearing was scheduled for ten the next morning. Penny entered his hotel room through the connecting door an hour before. She was wearing what for her was an extremely conservative outfit: a dark skirt that ended only an inch above her knees and a white blouse with a high neckline. He spared a small amount of mental energy to appreciate the effort she had expended on his behalf. She found him standing in front of the mirror, trying to knot his tie with fingers gone suddenly clumsy.

"It's gonna be okay, sweetie," she said, gently pushing away his shaking hands. She finished knotting his tie and smoothed his lapels. "You look very... respectable. Maybe the judge will sympathize with you." He wasn't good at reading facial expressions, but he thought that despite her encouraging words, she didn't look very hopeful that things would go his way.

Bob the lawyer met them outside the courthouse, and after a few brief instructions, ushered them inside. As soon as Sheldon saw the judge, his heart sank. She was an elderly woman with steel gray hair and a stern expression who looked like she brooked no nonsense. The court was called into session. A public prosecutor presented the state's arguments for why Sheldon should take custody of Caleb. Essentially, their case consisted of the fact that Sheldon was the child's biological father. Bob defended Sheldon's case, and the old contract that Sheldon had signed with Laura was entered into evidence. A social worker testified, and then the judge took ten minutes to deliberate.

"Ten minutes doesn't seem like a very long time," Sheldon muttered to Bob.

"No. It's not a good sign," Bob said pensively.

Looking behind him, Sheldon saw Penny sitting in the chairs reserved for the audience. She smiled and gave a little wave, but even he could tell that her smile lacked its usual exuberance. Soon, the judge was back.

She addressed him directly. "Dr. Cooper, I understand that you had no intention of fathering a child when you entered into this contract with the late Ms. McMillan. You hardly knew her, and she wasn't honest about her motives. However, many men find themselves in a similar situation, impregnating a woman of slight acquaintance through an ill-considered act. Also, your contract, though notarized, does not constitute a legally binding document. DNA tests have confirmed that you are this child's father, and I hereby order you to take custody of Caleb McMillan."

Sheldon nodded while the color drained out of his face until he was as pale as milk. It wasn't really necessary for him to say anything, which was fortunate, because he could barely marshall the energy to remain upright. The bailiff escorted him and Bob out of the courtroom to make way for the next case, and Penny followed.

"Are you alright, Moon Pie?" she asked anxiously once they were out in the hallway.

He didn't answer, not even to scold her for calling him Moonpie.


	4. Chapter 4

The judge had given Sheldon seventy-two hours to take custody of Caleb. She explained this was more for Caleb's benefit than Sheldon's, as she hoped Sheldon would use the time to get to know his son in the familiar surroundings of the foster family's home.

As they left the courthouse, Sheldon kept muttering under his breath, "I don't know what to do. I can't do this."

Penny turned to Bob. "Hey, can we meet you tomorrow to sign the paperwork and stuff? Sheldon and I need to have a conversation. "

After they said goodbye to the lawyer, Penny turned to Sheldon. "Look, sweetie, you're a father now, so you need to man up. "

"How can I be a father when I don't know how?" he asked plaintively.

She got that look on her face that promised junior rodeo action. "I know I said I would help you, but you're the only one who can do this. You are Caleb's dad now, and the first step that you need to do is to get a hold of yourself. Stop telling yourself that you can't do this, because you _have_ to. Now, I know you got some things set up in Pasadena, in case you had to bring Caleb home with you. So for now, just focus on one thing at a time. What is the next most important thing that needs to be done?"

He straightened and nodded as if to himself. "One thing at a time... I guess I can do that, although the next part will be the hardest. I have to tell my Mommy."

Mary Cooper hadn't even known that her son was in Texas. At first, she was pleased to hear from Sheldon when it wasn't one of his regularly scheduled monthly phone calls. But when she heard the reason for his call, she was shocked and angry. Penny could clearly hear the tone of her voice, if not the actual words, coming through Sheldon's phone. Finally, Sheldon ended the conversation. "As requested, I have informed my mother," he announced glumly.

"And?"

"Of her three children, I was always the one from whom she expected the most. Now she believes I had a child out of wedlock. She doesn't care how it happened; she's furious with me."

Penny sighed. She was sad but not terribly surprised by the way Sheldon's mom reacted. Mary Cooper and her son had one thing in common: they were both rather inflexible in their thinking. "Did you even tell her that none of this was your fault?"

"Honestly, I couldn't get a word in edgewise."

Penny said, "I think you'd better call your sister and Meemaw before your mother tells them _her_ version of events."

They went back to their respective hotel rooms, and Sheldon called the other two most important women in his life. He knew that he could trust both of them to be more understanding than his mother, and therefore he would have a longer conversation with each of them. Penny hung out in her room and watched TV until Sheldon came and tapped on her door.

"How did it go?" she asked sympathetically.

"They were both much more supportive. Missy even offered to go knock some sense into Caleb's biological mother before I had the chance to explain that Laura McMillan was deceased. I believe that between the two of them, they can make my mother listen to reason."

Penny smiled. "It's good to have people who love you like that."

He looked at her curiously, wondering if she realized that her recent actions placed herself in that small category of people who genuinely cared for him.

Her smile faded. "Is something wrong? You're giving me the weirdest look."

"Uh… no. Nothing is wrong." Fortunately, that wasn't a lie. He was just taken aback to find that someone who wasn't related to him could be so kind to him. "I've been considering your suggestion about focusing on only one task at a time. I believe the next thing to do is to purchase a car seat suitable for a toddler, " he said.

Penny thought a moment. "Actually, maybe we should go shopping for a toy instead. We don't know exactly how big Caleb is, and you don't want to buy the wrong size seat and then have to take it back later."

Sheldon nodded. "That is... quite sensible of you, Penny." Once again, he found he was grateful that she was there to help him through this difficult time. He also called the foster family and made arrangements to go see Caleb the next day. He treated Penny to dinner, but he was unusually quiet and subdued, saying little throughout the meal.

The next day, they drove over to the house of Tim and Joy Bernstein, the foster parents. The couple was quite a bit older than Penny had expected, possibly in their sixties. Tim had a jovial face topped with a full head of thick silver hair. His wife was tiny, almost a foot shorter than her husband. She wore a long dark skirt and her blonde hair, streaked with gray, was pulled back into a ponytail.

"Perfect timing: Caleb's just gotten up from his nap," Joy said with a smile. She disappeared down the hallway and returned carrying a dark-haired toddler. Penny took one look at him, and her jaw dropped. He was the spitting image of Sheldon.

"Oh my gosh, he's so adorable!" Penny squealed as the little boy shyly hid his face against Joy's neck. She reached for the baby, and then reluctantly drew back. Sheldon should be the first one to hold his son. But he just stood there stiffly, arms at his sides. "Don't you want to hold him, Sheldon?" she prompted.

"No," Sheldon said curtly. Seeing the shocked expression on the foster parents' faces, he went on to explain, "I believe the most favorable impression of me will be made if you allow Caleb to play in his customary fashion while I am in the room before I attempt to touch him."

Tim relaxed and nodded. "That's right, son. You seem to know a thing or two about kids. Do you have any others?"

Sheldon shook his head violently. "No, and I never intended to have any either."

"We know a little about your situation, Mr. Cooper. I'm sure must've come as quite a shock to you to find out that you're a father in this way, but you're doing the right thing," Joy said gently as she ushered them into the house.

Penny stomped hard on Sheldon's foot before he could correct Joy that his name was _Dr. Cooper_ , not Mr. Cooper. "We brought Caleb a present. Actually, Sheldon brought him a present. Go on, sweetie, give it to him," she urged.

Sheldon turn to glare at her. "I feel remarkably as if I am trying to bribe this child," he said.

"Under the circumstances, that's probably a good idea." Penny said. "It's not like you can sit down and have a conversation with him."

Tim and Joy agreed with her, so they set Caleb down in the living room and gave him the large, brightly wrapped package. Sheldon watched as Penny and Joy both helped Caleb tear off the paper. He was actually hoping that the boy liked his present. Penny had gone with him, and together they had hunted all over the toy store until he had found it in a moment of inspired serendipity: the perfect toy. It was a wooden train set, painted in primary colors (with non-toxic paint, of course). It had big chunky pieces just right for a toddler's developing motor skills. The best part was that the blocks, which were the train's "cargo", stacked on small rounded stakes embedded in the train cars. It was educational; it promoted motor skills; it was a train! Sheldon almost wanted to play with it himself.

Penny knelt on the floor next to Caleb, who was shrieking excitedly and patting the box. "Yeah, you wanna play with it, don't you? Let's get this box open for you," she cooed, patting his back. She turned back to Sheldon who was still sitting on the sofa awkwardly, with his hands on his knees like he wasn't sure where to put them.

"Sweetie, don't you want to come play trains with Caleb?" she asked with an odd inflection in her voice.

He hesitated. "On the floor?"

"Sheldon Lee Cooper, you get your ass over here right now," she stage-whispered, except she only mouthed the mild cuss word. Then she gave him a look which galvanized his body with a jolt of sheer terror. He was moving before he quite knew what had happened, and it was only with a concerted effort that he conquered the urge to say, "Yes, ma'am," to her.

From the sofa, Tim started to chuckle. "I take it you've never gotten 'the look' from your girlfriend before. Something about kids that seems to bring out all their mothering instincts, and that look's a part of it. Let me tell you, son, I've been married to Joy for thirty-seven years, and she still has me quaking in my boots when she looks at me like that," he said with a grin at his wife.

"Oh, I'm not his girlfriend," Penny said awkwardly as she struggled to open the box. Sheldon reached into his pocket and handed her his Swiss army knife.

"Fiancée, then, dear?" Joy asked as Penny expertly flipped open the blade and cut the tape.

"Penny is my friend," Sheldon replied.

Tim and Joy exchanged glances. "Well, what a nice thing for a friend to do," Joy commented with a knowing, conspiratorial glance at Penny.

Penny blushed, relieved to know that Sheldon would never pick up on what the older couple was hinting at. She freed the first toy pieces from the packaging and handed them to Caleb, who crowed with delight and promptly tried to stuff them in his mouth.

"Oh, dear Lord," Sheldon gasped and snatched them out of the toddler's grasp. Caleb instantly started wailing as Sheldon scolded him, "Do you know how many germs could be on this block?"

"Sheldon!" Penny cried. She grabbed the blocks from him and tried to hand them back to the toddler. But it was too much for Caleb, who ignored the toy and stood rigidly with little fists clenched and tears running down his reddened face. Penny groaned. _So much for first impressions_ , she thought. She scooped the little boy into her lap, where he buried his face in her neck. She rubbed his back and whispered soothing nonsense until he calmed down. In the middle of all that, she pushed the box toward Sheldon.

"If you have to disinfect the toys, go do it quickly," she sighed. Sheldon nodded, and Joy led him to the kitchen so he could wash off the blocks.

"Don't worry about it. You'll get used to each other in no time," Joy said reassuringly to Sheldon as he carefully cleaned off each toy. He down the wooden caboose and picked up the next piece.

"I believe I am fundamentally unsuited to be a parent," he said, keeping his eyes firmly fixed on the task in front of him. He paused and continued in a shaky voice, "You and your husband know Caleb, and he seems comfortable around you. If I was able to surrender him back into the system, would you be interested in adopting him?"

Joy was tiny, but she wasn't fragile. With her years of experience in the foster care system, Sheldon's request didn't shock her. "Young man, I know you're scared," she said firmly. "But he's your responsibility now. You were just awarded custody, so you know you can't just give him up. You seem to be an intelligent and capable person, so I think you know the courts would never allow that. Just give it time. Once you get to know your son a little better, things will be easier. Find out what works for the two of you. The most important thing you can do right now is spend time with him. That's how you'll get to know him, and in time, you'll come to love him."


	5. Chapter 5

They visited Caleb at the foster parent's home twice more. Sheldon struggled to interact with him, and he carried around a container of antiseptic wipes which he was constantly using to wipe down Caleb's face, hands and toys. Joy once had Sheldon help change Caleb's diaper. Penny wished she had a video camera for that one. Sheldon must have used about fifty baby wipes, and after he set Caleb down to play, he spent five minutes washing his hands. Penny's amusement faded and she cringed to see his reaction. How would Sheldon ever function trying to parent an active toddler with his germophobia? When Sheldon was done washing his hands, Joy took him aside. She spoke to him quietly for a few minutes. Sheldon came back to the living room with an odd look on his face. The next time Caleb dropped a toy on the floor, Sheldon's whole body twitched, but he didn't move, even as the little boy then stuffed the toy directly into his mouth. Penny watched in amazement, then she motioned Joy into the kitchen.

"You gotta tell me what you said to him, please," Penny begged. "I have a feeling I'm going to need it."

Joy smiled mischievously at Penny, making her look years younger. "I just explained how young children need to be exposed to common germs to strengthen their immune system. He knew that already, I'm sure. He just needs to learn how to deal with some of his phobias in order to be a good parent to Caleb."

Penny shook her head. "Really? That's it? Wow, can I get your phone number?"

Joy laughed but then wrote it down for her with a wink.

* * *

Penny was struck by how weird it was that Caleb needed a car seat when his father didn't drive. Nevertheless, they pulled up in front of the Bernstein's house on the last day with a booster seat strapped into the back of the rental car. Penny supposed she would have to drive a bit more cautiously if she didn't want Sheldon to jump down her throat every time she raced a red light.

The final transfer of Caleb didn't go smoothly. It was one thing to visit him in the home in which he felt comfortable; quite another to take him away from the people he had probably begun to think of as his parents. The toddler started crying as Joy handed him over to Sheldon, and it turned into a full-force wail as Sheldon buckled him into the car seat. Joy and Tim both hugged Penny, and Sheldon unbent enough to solemnly shake hands with both of them.

"Go on; get out of here," said Tim in a kindly tone. "He'll do better as soon as he's away from us. He's just scared of the separation."

Penny and Sheldon quickly got in and drove off with the screaming child. It made her feel a little like a kidnapper, and that was probably how Caleb saw it. At Penny's suggestion, they stopped at a local park. By that point, Caleb's crying had subsided to fussing, and he was willing to be distracted. Sheldon and Penny followed him somewhat anxiously as he toddled around. They pushed him on the kiddie swing and helped him down the slide on the pint-sized play set. They were at the park for over an hour, and then they went out for lunch. Caleb fell asleep in the back seat on the way to the restaurant. Penny couldn't stop glancing back at him in the rear-view mirror. She thought his pouty lip and the way his eyelashes fanned out on his soft baby cheeks were so adorable. However, she was regretting it later when they got back to the hotel. Apparently, that ten-minute period that the toddler had slept in the car somehow counted as a nap, and he was now awake but cranky. They both had a lot to learn.

At dinner, Sheldon meticulously cut up Caleb's food. The little boy must have gotten some of it in his mouth, but the majority of it seemed to end up on his face and clothes and the floor. Sheldon surveyed the mess with dismay.

"Come here, sweetie," Penny cooed to Caleb. She was rewarded with a big smile as the little boy held out his arms to her. She stood him up in the restaurant's high chair and brushed off the caked-on food. With only a slight wince for her clean clothes, she picked him up.

"We'll have to go give him a bath," Sheldon said instantly.

"What's this 'we' stuff I keep hearing?" Penny replied with a grin. "So far, it looks like I'm doing all the work. Now grab the diaper bag, and let's go."

Fortunately for both father and son, Caleb seemed to love baths. At least, he loved splashing water everywhere. Penny didn't mind bathing him, but she insisted Sheldon help. She remembered how funny she thought it was when she learned they didn't need to buy baby shampoo. It was what Sheldon used on his own hair. When he told her that in the baby department store, she ruffled his hair with a grin.

"So that's why you always smell so good," she teased.

They were both soaked by the time they got the squirming toddler out of the tub. Penny's shirt clung to her body like a second skin. She couldn't be certain, but she thought she saw Sheldon glance at her chest. Since this was Sheldon, though, she doubted he was ogling her. More likely, he was wondering if she was going to change before she got wet spots on any of the furniture. As they dried off a damp Caleb with fluffy towels, she breathed in his sweet, baby-powder scent. His wet hair curled into loose ringlets, and he yawned sleepily. But when Sheldon tried to deposit him in the rented hotel crib, Caleb immediately struggled to his feet and began wailing. His little fists were wrapped around the bars as if he thought he was in prison.

Sheldon looked at Penny, panic-stricken. "What do I do? How do I make him stop that infernal noise?"

"He just doesn't want you to leave him. He thinks you're going to go off and have fun without him," Penny joked. "Fat chance of that," she added under her breath.

"I heard that," Sheldon glared at her.

"Good," she snapped, but then she immediately turned her attention back to the little boy. She rubbed his back and began singing the "Soft Kitty" song. Poking Sheldon in the side, she jerked her head at the baby. He stared back at her in confusion. With a sigh, she hissed, "Sing with me."

He didn't look thrilled at the prospect, but he joined her, harmonizing with her voice. She glanced at him in surprise. His voice was a pitch-perfect tenor; she'd had no idea he could sing so well. By the time they were through the song a second time, Caleb sat down and stuck his thumb in his mouth. By the end of the third repetition, he had curled up with his blanket, and his eyes were closed. Penny gestured for them to sing one more round before they tiptoed out and quietly closed the door.

"Wow, I feel like I just won some sort of contest," she grinned. "I actually got a crying baby to go to sleep."

"You mean _we_ did," Sheldon said pointedly.

"Yeah, we did. So, uh… goodnight, Sheldon." She had her hand on the door handle to her adjoining room when she heard him clear his throat. She turned back to him. "Yes, sweetie?"

"I was wondering if you might like to join me for some ice cream. I was going to order a sundae from room service as a reward for surviving my first official day of parenthood."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "You're gonna watch some sci-fi show while you eat, aren't you?"

"Can you think of a better way to spend a Saturday evening?" he asked.

"Oh no, of course not," she replied sarcastically.

He took her comment at face value. _We're gonna have to work on that, too_ , she thought wearily as she walked into her adjoining room. She changed into her pajamas. It wasn't that late at night, but she felt exhausted and knew she wasn't going to be leaving the hotel room until tomorrow.

Their ice cream arrived in old-fashioned sundae glasses. As they settled down on the couch, Penny began to think that this wasn't the worst way to spend an evening, especially if a toddler had just worn you out. Her mind began to wander almost as soon as Sheldon turned on his program. She woke up some time later to find that they had both nodded off, slumped together on the sofa. He stirred as she sat up.

"You fell asleep. Go to bed; I'll see you in the morning," she whispered, and then stumbled drowsily toward her own bed.

* * *

Penny knew that Sheldon had had more than one conversation with his mother about Caleb. Fortunately for him, after her initial shock, Mary had been willing to listen to his explanation. She had "forgiven" Sheldon, which he accepted only grudgingly as he felt he hadn't done anything wrong. Now she was eager to see her new grandson. Penny had initially thought that Sheldon's family should meet Caleb, but she wasn't sure about Mary Cooper's judgmental attitude. Sheldon rarely talked about his own childhood, but the little he had revealed was never positive.

Sheldon announced his plans to go see his family the following morning after they had all had breakfast. He was cleaning off Caleb's hands, face, and portable high chair with a small mountain of baby wipes.

Penny watched his face carefully. "How do you feel about that, sweetie?"

"I recognize her claim to be a part of Caleb's life, however I am uneasy about the way she may treat him," he replied. Penny noticed he scrupulously avoided any mention of his feelings. "She had harsh words for both of us when she found out Caleb was conceived out of wedlock, even though I was eventually able to explain the situation to her."

"But that's not fair!" Penny burst out. "You were basically a sperm donor. How can she possibly judge either you or him for that?"

Sheldon shook his head, more in disbelief than negation. "My mother used to hit me with a Bible when I misbehaved. I believe she is capable of all kinds of logical inconsistencies."

Penny frowned. "In that case, sweetie, I don't think you should take Caleb to meet her unless you're sure she won't treat him badly."

He was silent for a long time. Finally, he said, "I think that with me, she did the best job she could as a mother. She's rather narrow-minded, but as much as she complained about my 'science-y stuff' and argued with me about evolution, she was always supportive of my dreams, even when she couldn't understand them. I don't believe she will allow her disapproval over the method of his conception to evolve into prejudice towards Caleb."

Penny smiled tenderly. "You've always been her baby, you know. You're her youngest son, and the only one of her children that might really do something big and important. I bet it came as a shock to her to find out you had a baby of your own. Maybe she just overreacted. Tell you what: I'll drive us all to Galveston. But if your mother can't figure out how to treat you and her new grandson with respect, we'll just leave."

Sheldon's face softened. "I was also looking forward to introducing Caleb to my Meemaw."

"Then that's what we'll do, sweetie," she replied.

* * *

 _A/N: So I've had a few comments that it's unlikely the court systems would force Sheldon to take custody of a son he never wanted, and they may be right. I don't have a lot of experience in that area; it was just a plot device. I apologize if it is a sensitive subject for any of my readers. As for everyone being "mean" to Sheldon, I feel that is pretty much in keeping with canon. None of his friends or family have ever shown an overabundance of tolerance for his differences, and strangers find him abrasive and rude. In some ways, Sheldon is extremely dependent on his friends, even though he doesn't see it that way, so in the story, they are all trying to distance themselves from his situation so they don't get sucked in (a lot like the way they act whenever he gets sick). At this point, no one in Sheldon's life can relate to what he's going through, and few people care about him enough to try to understand. I set this story AU from sometime in season two, when Penny's friendship with Sheldon was still developing. So even she struggles to empathize with him, since she isn't that far removed from her cheerleading days when she actually bullied the unpopular kids._


	6. Chapter 6

Penny soon found that her concerns about Mary Cooper were unfounded. The moment they entered the house, Mary scooped up the baby, cooing over him and exclaiming that he looked exactly like Sheldon did at that age. Penny thoroughly enjoyed his discomfort as Mary pulled out his old baby books and gleefully shared embarrassing stories about his childhood.

They spent a few afternoons at Meemaw's house, and Penny was surprised to find she was a rather stern and imposing woman. She didn't fit the typical image of the plump, huggable grandmother; instead, she was tall and thin, though stooped over. But she had nothing but praise for her favorite grandson and was moved to tears at the sight of her new great-grandson.

They stayed in Galveston for a few more days. Missy and Sheldon's older brother George (whom everyone called Junior) both came to visit. Each of them spent a significant portion of their time there subtly mocking Sheldon and his new status as a parent. Penny tried to stick up for him as best she could. She was beginning to understand why he lived thousands of miles away from his family, and she wished he would speak up more in his own defense.

During their stay, they both learned a lot about raising a toddler from Sheldon's mother. Penny tried to cram in as much information as she could by talking to her. She figured that once Leonard moved out, she was going to be the default person Sheldon turned to when he needed help with Caleb. A part of her was annoyed at that, but she knew Sheldon was always generous with money and would pay her for any babysitting she might do. And honestly, Caleb was starting to win her over so completely that she thought she might even watch him for free. She loved the delicately pointed chin which was visible even on Caleb's rounded babyish face. The fine dark wisps of hair on his head seemed to beg to be stroked, and she loved to cuddle him close and breathe in his milky baby scent. That had surprised her—that Sheldon's son actually didn't mind being held for short periods of time. Mary had just shaken her head and predicted that once he started to read, he wouldn't want to have much to do with her anymore. Penny realized then how difficult it must have been for Sheldon's mother, who clearly loved her son but struggled to relate to him. She found herself hoping things would be different with Caleb.

* * *

The return trip to California seemed to drag on forever, although it really lasted only three days. Caleb was fussy and irritable on the train. There were few places he could run around, and they didn't have many toys. Initially, Sheldon tried to limit his son's exposure to the other passenger's children, fearing Caleb would catch some illness from them. But soon, his patience was pushed to the breaking point, and he was glad of any distraction that anyone could provide for his overactive son.

The apartment seemed very empty when Sheldon finally arrived home. There was a large gap where Leonard's desk used to be, and half of the bookcases were bare. The leather couch was still in its habitual place, though, and was now decorated with a huge red bow. When he saw it, Sheldon felt an overwhelming surge of relief and something that might even have been gratitude. It didn't matter that he had to bargain with Leonard to keep the sofa _,_ or that in exchange, he agreed to buy him a whole new living room set. It still felt like a gift. He only cared that through all the recent turmoil in his life, he still had his 0,0,0,0 spot.

* * *

Penny flopped onto her bed with a sigh. It was good to be home, after all the chaos of the last several days. Unfortunately, by the end of the trip, she'd fielded several calls from her boss at the Cheesecake Factory, threatening to fire her if she didn't return to work soon. At least Sheldon had made good on his promise, pressing a thick envelope into her hands just before he entered his own apartment with Caleb. The envelope contained several hundred dollars, more than enough to make up for her week and a half of lost wages. If that was any measure of his generosity, she might be volunteering to babysit Caleb often. Just as she was thinking of the little boy, she heard a thin wail coming from the apartment next door. With a groan, she pulled a pillow against her ears. _That's right, and now I live across the hall from a crying toddler. Welcome to my crappy life_ , she thought. She fought the impulse to go over there and help Sheldon with Caleb. At his mother's house, she had gotten in the habit of singing rounds of "Soft Kitty" with him to lull Caleb to sleep. But she knew he needed to figure out this parenting thing on his own. After a few tense moments, she got up, padded to the kitchen and poured herself a large glass of wine. She was going to need it.

The next morning, Penny heard a normal, non-repetitious knock at her door. She swung the door open and wasn't surprised to see Leonard standing there. "Hey Leonard, what's up?" Penny greeted her former neighbor with a sunny smile.

"Uh… I stopped by to pick up my mail. It looks like I got some of yours by mistake again," he said, handing over a few envelopes.

"Weird. I really oughtta say something the next time I see the postal worker," she commented.

"Oh, I don't think that's such a good idea… he's kind of cranky," Leonard answered quickly. "Anyway, I just wanted to ask if you wanted to have dinner with Raj and me tonight."

"Just the two of you, huh? How's the apartment hunt going?" she asked.

He sighed, shaking his head. "Not great, but I really need to find my own place. If I have to wake up one more time to hear Raj singing Bollywood choruses in the shower at the top of his lungs, I'm gonna go crazy."

She laughed. "Well, at least you're won't get woken up at two AM by a screaming toddler."

"Yeah, I guess it could be worse. Anyway, I just wanted to run an idea past you. I know that your rent's a little more than you can afford, so... have you ever thought about getting a roommate? I mean, a two-bedroom place with a roommate?"

"I don't know. I kind of like having my own space. Why?" Penny asked.

"Well, I was thinking maybe we could move in together. I mean, as roommates. Perfectly platonic roommates who just happen to be really good friends," Leonard tilted his head at her like a quizzical puppy dog.

"Oh, um… I don't think that's such a good idea," Penny said quickly. The problem was, she knew that Leonard's feelings for her were far from platonic. If she didn't have feelings for him after two years of his obvious pining for her, it just wasn't going to happen. "I signed a lease here, you know. I don't think I'd be able to get out of it."

"Oh, right, what was I thinking? Well, I'm sure we'll still hang out whenever," Leonard finished awkwardly.

"Sure. I can still come over tonight. How about we invite Howard and Sheldon too?"

Leonard shifted awkwardly. "Wouldn't Sheldon have to bring the baby?"

Penny's expression shifted into a sardonic mien. "Yup. Caleb's an infant. It's not like Sheldon can just put out a couple of bowls with water and kibble."

Leonard sighed. "Yeah. I guess that would be okay," he said, clearly reluctant.

"Look, I promise I'll hold the baby for a while if the three of you want to play video games."

Leonard perked up. "Really? That would be great!"

"Yeah, we'll figure this out somehow. Hey, and let us know when you find a new place. We can all come over for a housewarming party," Penny offered.

"That sounds good," Leonard said. He stood smiling awkwardly at her for a moment like he had something he wanted to add, then he stammered a goodbye and left.

Penny showed up at Raj's apartment that night after a long shift at work, still wearing her Cheesecake Factory uniform. She quickly saw that the guys were uncomfortable around a baby, all except for Howard, who had multiple cousins of all ages on his mom's side of the family. Penny kept her word and held Caleb while they played Super Smash Brothers and Mario Kart. He fell asleep shortly after eight, leaving her plenty of time to play Halo. She teamed up with Sheldon, and as usual, they cleaned house, even playing two against three.

"We make a good team, don't we?" she asked with a grin as they prepared to leave.

"In more than just Halo," he agreed solemnly. He glanced at Caleb, who had fussed sleepily when she picked him up to allow Sheldon to fold the portable crib. The little boy was now sound asleep, head pillowed on her shoulder. His face softened as he looked at Penny holding his son.

She smiled quizzically at him. "What is it?"

"You are very good with him," he said simply, and Penny beamed at the rare compliment.

* * *

With the weekend over, Sheldon now faced the challenge of arranging daycare for Caleb. It was an enormous relief to him to think that he could soon turn Caleb over to trained, certified child care professionals for a large portion of the day. He double-checked the pile at his feet. It almost looked like he had packed for an overnight trip instead of just taking his son to daycare. In addition to his messenger bag, he had a backpack that functioned as a diaper bag, filled with diapers, wipes, hand sanitizing gel, snacks, a sippy cup full of water, and an emergency medical kit. A small duffle bag contained several changes of clothing for Caleb (complete with shoes and socks) and a few jackets and sweaters in case it got cold. Then there was the car seat, not to mention the toddler himself. All this needed to go downstairs before Leonard came to give him a ride to the daycare center before work. To further disrupt his day, the director of the daycare hadn't been willing to schedule Caleb's admissions interview before nine AM, so both he and Leonard would be late to work.

He was perspiring by the time he was halfway up the stairs after dropping off his first load of daycare supplies in the lobby. Caleb, of course, had to come with him. He had been briefly tempted to leave the toddler in his playard, but the chances of him managing to escape were too high. Sheldon knew he wasn't good with empathizing with his son, but he could at least do a good job of keeping him safe. Unfortunately, that necessitated multiple trips up and down four flights of stairs, laden with both the boy and the heavy bags. He was exhausted by the time he set down the last items. He put down Caleb as well, who was not at all tired and immediately made a beeline for the potted ficus to see what its leaves tasted like. When Sheldon snatched the foliage away, the little boy started wailing loudly.

Leonard came upon this scene and winced at the screaming toddler but broke out in a huge grin as he saw Sheldon loaded down like a pack mule. He did, however, give Sheldon a hand with the bags. When it came to the car seat, he backed away, hands held up in surrender. "You're on your own with that one, buddy," he said with ill-concealed glee. Caleb crawled around the back seat of Leonard's car while Sheldon wrestled the various seat belt straps through the corresponding openings on the back of the car seat.

"Ah, the joys of parenthood," Leonard quipped as he watched his former roommate struggle to buckle the resistant toddler into the seat.

"That must be sarcasm," Sheldon grumbled as he finally secured Caleb and slid into the front passenger side.

Leonard chuckled as he replied, "I always used to think I wanted a family. You know, get married and have three or four kids… maybe more if my wife wanted them. But now that I'm seeing the realities of fatherhood up close, I'm thinking maybe I can hold off a few more years. The freedom of the single life has a lot of appeal."

"If you were around when I had to change a diaper, you might swear off children for life," Sheldon muttered.

Leonard glanced over in surprise. "Was _that_ sarcasm?"

Sheldon frowned, and then his eyebrows shot up. "At the very least, it was hyperbole. It's very unlike me to exaggerate. I wonder if this has anything to do with my new role as a father. I'll have to ask Penny."

Leonard humphed. "You two seem to be awfully close these days."

"You had every opportunity to join me in my trip to Texas. Just think, if you had played your cards right, right now you could be the one joining me every night, singing rounds of 'Soft Kitty' in an attempt to get Caleb to sleep."

"Was _that_ sarcasm?" Leonard queried.

Sheldon shook his head. "No, I was completely serious. Why?"

"Never mind," Leonard said with a shudder.

They soon pulled up in front of the day care center. Sheldon considered himself fortunate that one of his top three choices was right on the way to Caltech. He unbuckled Caleb and cast a sidelong glance at his friend before walking in alone. Penny would have come in with him, he knew. Leonard helped to carry the bags again but declined to go inside. He said he would wait for them in the car. He held up a physics periodical with a smug grin, and Sheldon envied him. He tried to placate himself with the knowledge that he could return to his calm, quiet pursuit of knowledge as soon as this interview was over.


	7. Chapter 7

The director of the daycare met Sheldon and Caleb in the front lobby, which was labeled as a "welcome center" with a colorful sign. She was a trim, matronly woman with her hair in a chignon, wearing a pencil skirt and heels. Clearly, her days of playing with her charges had passed. She introduced herself as Ms. Murphy and escorted father and son back to her office. Sheldon was grateful to see a small basket of toys in the corner, although he made sure they had been recently sanitized before he allowed Caleb to touch them.

"So let's see… we'll need a copy of your driver's license and insurance card, along with your son's birth certificate," Ms. Murphy said briskly. Sheldon handed over them over promptly. Her eyebrows rose only slightly when Sheldon handed her his non-driver identification card, but she didn't comment. Instead, she slid a folder across to Sheldon. "We'll need you to fill out these forms as well. I'm just going to step out for a minute to make a copy of your ID for our records."

He looked through the forms and immediately felt a rising panic. Daily routine? He'd only been caring for Caleb for a few days, with major upheavals due to traveling. Of course, he was all in favor of a routine, but he hadn't established one yet. The next page was worse: a medical information form. He had carefully researched local pediatricians and made an appointment with his preferred provider, but the appointment was still a month away. And immunizations? History of allergic reactions? Complications at birth? He couldn't answer any of those questions. Caleb's medical history would supposedly be forwarded to him through the Texas child services system, but he hadn't received the paperwork yet.

He set the forms aside. Soon, Ms. Murphy bustled back into the room. She paused in the doorway when she saw the folder, sitting closed on her desk. "Well, that was fast," she said with an encouraging smile.

'I'm not going to be able to fill out most of the forms. I don't have the pertinent information," he informed her.

She paused, and then her professional smile reappeared. "We'll go over them together. They're really not that hard once you get the hang of them."

Sheldon frowned. "I have an IQ of 187. I assure you, the problem is not that I don't _understand_ the paperwork. I simply don't have the information." He pulled out the medical form and showed it to her. "I don't have his immunization records. I don't know his medical history. He doesn't have a routine yet. I can't even tell you what his favorite activities are, or if he has a... lovey?" He had no idea what was meant by that ridiculous term.

The director crossed around to the other side of her desk and sat down, steepling her fingers. "Surely you don't expect us to allow your son into our facility if you can't provide us with the most basic of facts about him."

Sheldon shrugged, but he was starting to panic again. "His biological mother decided to conceive a child via a genetic sample I gave her years ago. I didn't even know of the boy's existence until recently, when I received a court order to establish paternity upon the death of his mother. I never wanted to be a parent, but this was foisted upon me without my knowledge or consent." His voice was starting to rise, but he couldn't calm down. He stood up. "You have to take him. I have work to do - important work, investigating the very nature of our universe itself. I don't have the time or the capacity to care for a child!"

Ms. Murphy rose as well, and the expression in her eyes was steely. "Mr. Cooper…"

"That's _Doctor_ Cooper!" Sheldon snapped. "I have two PhD's in theoretical physics!"

On the floor, Caleb dropped the toy he had been playing with and stared wide-eyed at Sheldon. His lower lip quivered as he watched his latest caretaker fearfully.

The director cast a disapproving glance from father to son. "I don't care what kind of background you have or what kind of work you do. We are not admitting your son until you can complete the forms, and that is final." She pointed firmly at the door. "When you return, we will review your application, but I can tell you now, you've certainly made a poor impression today."

Flustered, Sheldon retorted, "With your lousy customer relations, I can assure you, you won't be seeing me again."

Scowling, he scooped up Caleb, who began wailing. Sheldon marched out of the daycare center and headed toward Leonard's car. Leonard, of course, heard Caleb crying as they approached. He put his magazine down and stared at Sheldon in dismay.

"What did you do?" he asked tiredly.

"I didn't have his medical history, so they refused to take him," Sheldon snapped as he opened the back door and started to buckle Caleb into his seat. The toddler fought him, flailing his arms and legs and arching his back.

"Look, buddy, I'm sorry you're having such a hard time, but I've got to get to work. I can't really afford to take any more time off to help you."

Sheldon clicked the final buckle into place and climbed into the front passenger seat. "You won't need to. Drive directly to Caltech."

Leonard twisted around in his seat to look at the screaming toddler. "You can't seriously be thinking about taking him into work with you."

"It appears I have no other choice," Sheldon growled, staring moodily out the window.

By the time they reached the campus, Caleb had calmed down. Sheldon decided he had better let the boy walk on his own into the building. Loaded down with a duffel bag and backpack, he made a very strange sight, walking hunched over and leading the small boy by the hand. Heads poked out of doorways as he passed through the halls, and he could hear whispers of gossip following him. Everyone was staring curiously at him. At his office, he tried to focus on his work, but he was constantly snatching something out of Caleb's chubby fingers or trying to keep him from crying. Whenever he looked up, someone was peeping in through the narrow glass window in his office door like he was a circus sideshow. Finally admitting defeat, he carried his son down to the human resources department, where he applied for time off under the Family and Medical Leave Act. Then he and Caleb had to take a taxi home.

At his apartment, the child was cranky and inconsolable. He chewed on one of Sheldon's old textbooks (it was only a book on applied physics, but still, Sheldon was not pleased) and pulled all of the carefully alphabetized DVD's off the shelves. By the time he finally cried himself to sleep in his crib at naptime, Sheldon was seriously contemplating taking a nap himself. He checked his phone once again and grumbled impatiently. He had texted Penny hours ago, and she still hadn't responded.

It was almost dinner time before she called, and he had difficulty restraining himself from snapping at her. Only the knowledge that doing so might cause her to hang up on him kept him speaking in a measured tone of voice. Penny had spent her day off shopping, but she said she was happy to join him for dinner. But when she arrived, she took one look at Sheldon's face and immediately asked what was wrong.

Sheldon was almost babbling as he poured out all his frustrations, while Caleb flung diced bits of _mee krob_ onto the floor from his high chair. Penny listened quietly the whole time. When he had finished, she got up and started wiping down the little boy's face and hands.

"You need a break, sweetie," she told him. "I know you've had a tough day, but tomorrow will be better, I swear. For now, I'm going to take this little cutie with me." She made silly faces at Caleb, causing him to laugh. "You are going to play a video game or watch _Star Trek_ or do whatever you need to do to unwind. I'll bring him back at eight for his bath." She lifted the toddler out of his high chair and balanced him on her hip while she snagged the diaper bag with one hand.

"I accept your offer," Sheldon said. He spoke in a soft, quiet tone that offset the formality of his words. He felt an overwhelming rush of gratitude for her.

Her face softened as she looked at this man-child struggling to cope with sudden fatherhood. "Just give it time, sweetie. And by the way, tonight's on the house. You aren't asking me to babysit; I'm volunteering as a friend." She studied his face and then gave him a very brief, one-armed hug. "I'm here for you," she whispered before slipping out the door.

After she left, Sheldon immediately went to his whiteboards. He wasn't at all convinced that in time, he would become a better parent. The truth was that he had no desire to do so. Penny, on the other hand, seemed a natural with the nurturing, patient attitude so vital to caring for a toddler. If only he could make her Caleb's full-time caregiver, he was certain that his son would be much better off. She had refused to give up her waitressing job to become a nanny, but perhaps there was another solution. He scribbled algorithms on his board, weighting the variables as he struggled to solve his parenting dilemma.


	8. Chapter 8

A few days later, Penny got a text from Sheldon, asking her to babysit while he had to attend an obligatory departmental event at Caltech. She sighed and texted back her assent, although she couldn't feel too upset with him. Sheldon had been having a tough time over the last few days. Bob the attorney was having difficulties getting Caleb's latest medical records released from the Texas child services department. That meant that Sheldon was forced to work from home while caring for the boy. By this point, Penny knew from experience that he couldn't get much done while keeping an eye on the active toddler.

She was starting to have second thoughts about her initial, cheerful reassurances to Sheldon. Every time she saw him, he looked a little more wild-eyed. She had continued to refuse to come over on a regular basis to help bathe Caleb or sing him to sleep. Sheldon had to learn to parent on his own, didn't he? But she felt so guilty every time she looked at Sheldon's stressed countenance or heard Caleb crying in the middle of the night. Sudden parenthood would be hard on anyone; for Sheldon, it must be testing the very limits of his ingenuity and ability to cope. He hadn't lost that hunted look when she knocked on his door a few nights later. He handed her a list, and Penny glanced at it with a bemused expression.

"Why are you giving me this?" She flipped through several typed pages in unusually small print. "I already know his routine. In fact, I'm way better at getting him to sleep than you are."

He hesitated. "It's in case of emergencies. You have my complete confidence in taking care of Caleb. I wanted to make sure I verbalized that before I go out this evening."

Penny grinned. "Whackadoodle. Get going; we'll both be fine, I promise."

He nodded, cast one quick look at Caleb, nestled contentedly in Penny's arms, and left.

* * *

Penny checked the time on her phone once more and paced around the room. It was 10:37 PM, far past the time Sheldon had said he would be home. It wasn't like him to be late. For the first twenty minutes past the hour, she had imagined that he was just having a hard time convincing Raj to leave the party and drive him home. Now, she was genuinely worried.

She picked up her phone again, and this time, she called Raj. "Hey, what's going on? Why are the two of you so late?" she demanded as soon as he answered. He made a whimpering sound, and she heard some rustling on the other end. Then Leonard said, "Hi, it's me. Raj just had to grab a beer from the fridge so he could talk to you."

"The fridge? What do you mean?"

"Uh, here, Raj is back. You can ask him now."

"Hello, Penny," came Raj's lilting voice, sounding cheerful now that he was buoyed by a few sips of beer.

"You guys had me worried. Why are you so late?"

"What are you talking about?" he asked, sounding bewildered. "Late for what?"

"You and Sheldon. He told me he'd be home by ten."

"Uh… Sheldon's not here. I don't know where he is," Raj replied.

"Are you sure? Look around. Maybe he's in the men's room or something."

"Penny, we're hanging out at my place with Howard, having a Terminator movie marathon. Sheldon hasn't been here all night. We asked him, but he said he had something else to do."

Penny's heart seemed to miss a few beats. "There wasn't an inter-departmental mixer tonight, was there?" she groaned.

"No. Is that what he told you? I-"

"Sorry, Raj. Gotta go." Penny hung up quickly and started pacing again. This wasn't one of Sheldon's elaborately crafted ruses, and yet he must have been planning something in order to be able to lie to her without experiencing facial tics. Her gaze fell on the container of antibacterial wipes, sitting on his desk. She remembered how he had commented that Caleb would be better off with her, and the strange way he had been acting earlier.

"No. Oh no, he wouldn't," Penny muttered under her breath. Grabbing the baby monitor, she hurried downstairs, hoping that her third-floor neighbor, Mrs. Vartebedian, was still awake. Fortunately, the older woman was a night owl. Since her grandchildren lived out of state, she had been the only resident of 2311 North Robles who was happy when Caleb moved in. She volunteered to watch the little boy every time she ran across Sheldon in the hallways. He never would have consented, but right now, Penny didn't care. This was an emergency. Besides, it looked like Sheldon had decided to dump Caleb on her and run, so his opinion no longer counted.

She headed straight for the train station, hoping her suspicions were wrong. At every red light, she drummed her fingers impatiently on the steering wheel. "Come on, come on," she muttered under her breath. Finally, she pulled up in front of the Transportation Authority. Parking in a tow away zone, she left her hazards on and hoped for the best as she raced inside.

"Have you seen a tall guy with dark hair tonight? Members Only jacket?" she asked the man behind the ticket counter.

"Oh, that guy? Man, what a freak. You wouldn't believe the hard time he gave me-"

"Just tell me where he is, please," Penny begged.

"Let's see. I think he bought a ticket for Vancouver," he answered, checking his computer.

"Which way?" she asked breathlessly.

He pointed, and she ran. She heard a voice over the loudspeaker saying something about boarding for Vancouver and cursed. Rounding a corner, she saw a familiar figure standing in line, about to get on the train.

"Sheldon!" she screamed. His head whipped around, and his eyes widened fearfully. She ran up to him. "What do you think you're doing?" she panted.

"I'm starting over. Caleb is better off without me. He-"

Penny's hand moved so fast, he didn't even see it until her palm hit his cheek with a resounding smack.

"You hit me!" he cried in shock, holding a hand to his stinging face.

"Just be glad I didn't punch you in the nose," she growled. Seeing that her actions had attracted the attention of the other people in line, she grabbed his arm and dragged him over to a more private corner of the waiting area. Sheldon was still cradling his face in his hand as she shoved him down onto a bench.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You can't just give Caleb to someone else. He's yours now. When are you going to get it through that thick head of yours?" she cried. She yelled at him for a few more minutes. She had been terrified-for him, for Caleb, for herself-and now she was taking it out on him. He flinched at her tone of voice and seemed to shrink in on himself as she lectured him. Feeling guilty, she remembered that how he always reacted to yelling. Instantly, her mind flashed to Caleb. His father was much like him. He had learned to hide it well, but inside, Sheldon was still very much like a scared little boy. Years of bullying had convinced him that no one could truly care about him, and he used insults and arrogance like armor, trying to protect himself. No wonder he felt he had nothing to offer a small, helpless child who needed love and nurturing.

So she changed tactics, sitting down next to him and laying a hand on his sleeve. "I know you're used to running away from your problems," she said in a softer tone. "But you simply can't do that with Caleb."

He started and looked around. "Where is he, by the way? I left him in your charge; what did you do with him?"

"Relax. Mrs. Vartabedian is watching him," she replied.

"Relax? You don't know anything about her. She could be a serial killer for all you know!" he yelled. He appeared ready to jump up and run off in search of his son.

Penny stopped him by putting a hand on his arm. "Okay, this, right here? This need to protect Caleb? That's a good place to start. Sheldon, you're his dad, and he needs you. You're the only family he's got. More than most people, you remember what it was like to be that young. What if he turns out just like you? You're the only person who can really understand what it's like for him."

"I suppose you make a valid point," he grudgingly agreed.

"I know you can do this. You just need to give it a little more time," she said. She grasped his hand in hers, trying to communicate her faith in him. He cast a startled glance at their conjoined hands, and she loosened her grip as he pulled away.

He said, "I'm not certain where your confidence in my ability to parent is coming from. I certainly didn't have a good role model in my own father. I don't think I can do this... by myself. Reading books on parenting cannot imbue me with any empathy. I have little patience, and I don't know how to be kind," he said, pronouncing that last word as if it were in a foreign language. "But these are all qualities in which you excel. Will you help me?"

Penny's heart melted. Sheldon rarely asked for anyone's help; he hated to admit that he wasn't completely self-sufficient. For him to even acknowledge that he wasn't perfect was a huge step in the right direction. "I'll do what I can," she promised. "As long as you're trying your best too."

He shook his head slowly. "You have already exhibited a strong attachment to Caleb. I don't feel the same way."

She pulled him to his feet and looped her arm through his elbow as she led him toward the exit. The train to Vancouver had departed some time ago, unnoticed by either of them. "You will," she said. "This has been a stressful week, but it'll get better. Oh, and Sheldon? Pull another stunt like this, and I'll call Child Services on you myself."

He paused and stared at her. "Would you really call Child Services on me?"

She met his gaze with steely resolve. "If you run off again, you bet your ass I would. I love Caleb more than I love you, you know."

He cast a startled glance at her as they climbed the stairs side by side. "You love me?"

She blushed. "Sure… I mean, as a friend. Why do you think I came after you?"

"Do you love Leonard too?"

She huffed her displeasure. "Not in the same way. Leonard is... complicated."

Just then, her phone rang. "Speak of the devil…" she said with a mischievous smirk after glancing at the caller ID on the display. "Hello? Yeah, I found him… no, he was at the planetarium." She looked over at Sheldon. "Yeah, I guess he thought I wouldn't babysit if I knew he just needed a break, but I totally would… Oh, he missed the last bus and then his phone died. Yeah, rotten luck, huh? Okay, see you later."

She looked at him and smiled. "Let's just go home and forget tonight ever happened, okay?"

Sheldon was silent, lost in thought as Penny drove him home. Caring about people seemed to come so naturally to her. She even cared about him, and he knew he was a very difficult person to get along with. He didn't mean to be; it was just how his mind worked. The one thing that was becoming clear to him was how much he had underestimated her. He had never had much use for empathy or emotions, but in that, he knew he wasn't like most people. He wasn't sure he could learn to be more like her even if he tried. He needed her. Her actions that evening had rocketed her to the top of his list of friends, and he knew some acknowledgement was in arrived at the apartment building, and just before they walked into his place, he paused with his hand on the doorknob.

"I wanted to let you know that I appreciate what you did for me at the train station," he said slowly. Saying thank you was another thing he wasn't good at, but if anyone deserved his gratitude, it was Penny.

"You mean slapping you in the face?" she grinned.

"No, I mean that you didn't give up on me, you promised your help, and you didn't tell Leonard the real reason you had to come looking for me."

Penny stared up at him. "If you really mean it, then don't let me down again," she whispered.

"I won't," he promised and found that he meant it.


	9. Chapter 9

The next day, as Penny was still meandering around her apartment in a ratty old robe and pajamas, she heard a knock at her door. She pulled the door open without bothering to look through the peephole, which was a bad habit of hers. _I guess it wouldn't hurt for me to learn to be more careful_ , she mused. Something perhaps that she could learn from Sheldon. But that thought was quickly driven out of her head at the sight of a young man holding a cellophane-wrapped vase of bright flowers.

"Delivery for Miss Penny, uh..."

"Yup, that's me," she interrupted, grabbing the bouquet. The blooms were gerbera daisies. She squealed when she saw them; they were her favorite. Eagerly, she rummaged through the plastic, looking for the card. Who had sent her flowers? Was it Leonard? She almost didn't care if he was trying to win her over again. The last time she'd gotten flowers was from her parents on the day she graduated high school. And then she plucked out the card and found it contained six words: _Thank you. Sincerely, Sheldon Cooper, PhD._ She giggled as she read it.

"Miss? I need you to sign here," the delivery boy said, thrusting a clipboard at her. Awkwardly, she juggled the flowers as she scrawled her name. Next to her printed name and address were the instructions, "DO NOT DISTURB BEFORE 11 AM." She laughed again as she returned the clipboard and went to find a vase to display her flowers.

Throughout the rest of the week, Penny spent practically every waking moment that she wasn't working at Sheldon's place. She even started setting her alarm clock to get up at eight and would stumble sleepily across the hall with her coffee. She usually walked in the door to be greeted by happy squeals from Caleb, who would come running over to give her a big hug around her knees. She had it admit, it was one of the nicest ways she could think of to start her day.

She was teaching Sheldon how to interact with Caleb. Before, she had blithely assumed that with time, he would figure it out on his own, but nurturing didn't come naturally to him at all. She had to show him how to really hug his son and hold him close instead of giving him an awkward pat on the back. Often, the toddler was sandwiched between them, sometimes happy and sometimes squirming, as she repositioned Sheldon's arms. Trying to teach him how to praise Caleb's good behavior was also an uphill battle. He actually took notes-Penny found it both funny and touching-and started wearing a rubber band on his arm to snap it whenever he said anything negative to the little boy. Often, Penny found herself reaching over the snap the rubber band, while Sheldon would give her that wide-eyed, what-did-I-do look of innocence, but he _was_ making an effort. She knew that change wouldn't come quickly or easily, so she praised his every little success almost as lavishly as she did Caleb's.

It took close to two weeks for the medical records to arrive. Sheldon was greatly excited to see them, as it meant he could finally go back to work. Penny had mixed feelings about it. She was forced to admit that she had enjoyed this time more than she thought; seeing a huge grin on Caleb's face first thing in the morning, and Sheldon's eyes glowing happily at her had made her feel like a part of something. She was reluctant to give that up, even if she couldn't define exactly what it was she was losing.

"I guess you won't need me any more," she said quietly, watching Sheldon carefully look over the thick sheaf of papers.

"I'll still need you to babysit on Wednesday nights when the four of us go for new comic book night at Stuart's," he replied absently.

She winced. That had hurt. A babysitter- apparently, that was all she was to him, but there was no use getting upset about it. While Sheldon had made great strides in relating to his son, he was still light years away from figuring out how to be a good friend. "Okay. I'll see you Wednesday," she answered and slipped out.

She had just gotten comfy on her sofa with a glass of wine and cued up the latest reality show when Sheldon started knocking on her door. Rolling her eyes, she waited until he finished the last knock before pulling the door open. There stood Sheldon, with Caleb in one arm. The little boy grinned at her with a flash of pearly whites, and she couldn't help but smile back.

"Why did you leave?" Sheldon asked.

She shrugged, unable to meet his gaze. He looked hurt and confused, and she wanted to tell him she felt the same way. "You said you didn't need me anymore. Guess it's about time I got back to reality."

He studied her silently, his face creasing into a frown. "Our dinner order was just delivered. In fact, it is now getting cold. Perhaps you misinterpreted what I meant. While technically I don't require your presence, I was expecting you to join us."

She sighed. "Is this just because you have an extra order of vegetarian _pad thai_ that you don't know what to do with?"

"Partially," he replied, still looking confused. "But I also wanted your company."

As if on cue, Caleb leaned over toward her, arms outstretched. She caught him, and for a moment, she and Sheldon were pressed close together, juggling the toddler. Moments like these had happened with increasing regularity since she began teaching him how to hold his son. She'd had to touch Sheldon and lean in close to him. Now she started to recognize just the tiniest shift in her feelings for him. Was this behind her sulking and walking out on him? She gave herself a mental shake and quickly stepped back. Letting herself fall for Sheldon would be the world's biggest mistake. He was still watching her expectantly, and she realized she was trapped. She couldn't suddenly refuse to hang out with him without hurting both him and Caleb, and possibly undoing a lot of the hard work she'd put into helping Sheldon become a better father. She cuddled Caleb against her side.

"Alright, I'll come over. Just don't expect me to make a habit of it every night, okay? I've got my own life," she answered, although she wondered if that were true. During the week and a half she'd been in Texas, she'd only gotten a few texts from friends. Same for the past two weeks, as,she began spending all of her free time over at Sheldon's place. Even Leonard hadn't texted nearly as much as she expected. His eager attention was always nice, especially after a long waitressing shift of getting splattered with food and people leaving her bad tips. When he was living across the hall, it had seemed like a bad idea to get involved with him. Better to just keep him as a friend, she thought. But now that he had moved away, he seemed to have forgotten about her, and instead she was obsessing over his crazy best friend. The direction of her thoughts unnerved her. Maybe they both needed to put some distance between them.

* * *

Over the next few days, Sheldon developed a routine which he hoped would suit both him and Caleb. Leonard and Raj took turns picking them up. He had purchased a second car seat, one for each of their vehicles, so that was one less thing he had to lug around. Both his friends complained that child seats were the opposite of chick magnets. Unfortunately, they couldn't argue when he pointed out that their love lives would hardly be impacted since they hadn't been dating much before.

Sheldon didn't go back to the first daycare center. His perceived impression of the director's rudeness was enough to bump it down a few spots on his list. He found another one, almost as highly-rated, and even closer to the Caltech campus. After work, Leonard or Raj would drive him to pick up Caleb and drop them off at 2311 North Robles. The guys would occasionally join him, and after dinner, they would play cards, RPGs or video games, although Sheldon now insisted that they keep quiet, and the volume had to be turned down on the television set. He wasn't about to risk either damaging Caleb's hearing or disrupting his sleep schedule. On other nights, it was just him, Penny and Caleb. She would usually join them if she wasn't working, whether his friends were over or not. They agreed she would ask for every Wednesday night off so she could babysit while Sheldon went with the guys to Stuart's for new comic book night. It was his one night out without his son, and he looked forward to it eagerly.

There was one thing that worried him about Caleb: he wasn't speaking yet. It had first been brought to his attention by one of Caleb's daycare teachers, who asked him, "Don't you think he should be able to say at least a few words by now?" The slightly judgmental tone in which the question was delivered didn't help matters. The little boy could make a few letter sounds, but he was behind his peers in verbal communication. Sheldon had already had a consultation with his son's pediatrician, and the doctor assured him that there wasn't yet cause for alarm. Clearly, the doctor didn't know Sheldon very well, because his assurances fell on deaf ears.

He talked to Penny about it, and she said that it might be a response to all the recent changes in Caleb's life. It was not a very comforting thought, but at least Sheldon now knew he was doing his best to provide the boy with a stable home. Much as he hated to admit it, he was starting to see how important a role empathy played in parenting. If he wasn't yet very good at nurturing (and he knew he wasn't), he was grateful he had Penny to make up for his shortcomings.


	10. Chapter 10

"You're going to make him nauseous," Sheldon warned. He was watching Penny play with Caleb. She was bouncing the little boy up and down on her knee, barely five minutes after he had finished his dinner. Of course, Penny ignored him and kept right on rough-housing with him, singing a nursery rhyme. The little boy apparently loved it, from the huge grins and squeals he was making. Sheldon eyed the pair nervously. They were sitting right next to his 0,0,0,0 spot on the couch. "Are you familiar with the term 'projectile vomiting'? If you make him sick, I won't be the one to clean it up."

Penny made a face at him, but in a moment she stopped giving Caleb "horsey rides" and instead got down on the floor with him to build a block tower. As usual, the toddler knocked it over and then clapped his hands. He watched them, feeling faintly uneasy. Since Caleb's arrival, he had started mopping the floor on a daily basis, but he still couldn't quite suppress a shudder at seeing his son playing on the floor. He might have been able to ignore it, if he hadn't already been nervous about the topic that he wanted to discuss with Penny.

"There is a matter of some urgency that I wish to speak to you about," he began. Immediately, her head whipped around to face him. With a quick pat on Caleb's head, she hurried to his side. "What is it? Is something wrong with him?"

He was once again amazed by her instinctual reaction to the slightest hint of a problem with Caleb. Although she wasn't the boy's mother, she was the closest thing he had to a mother.

He answered, "I took him to see a speech therapist today."

"Oh, right." Her posture lost some of its rigidity. "Wait, what did the therapist say? Is he going to be okay?"

"Yes, at least I hope so." Still keeping an eye on Caleb, he sat down on the leather couch. "She said there's nothing physically wrong with his larynx or tongue that would cause an obstruction. Developmentally, he meets or exceeds all other milestones for infants his age. So her conclusion was the same as what you initially suggested: emotional trauma." He was silent for a long time, watching his son. Finally, he said quietly, "For the first time in my life, I find myself facing a challenge which may be greater than my abilities. I don't know how ordinary people deal with circumstances such as these."

Penny sat down next to him, choosing not to take offense at his words. "We have friends who help us. We ask for help when we need it, and we do things that relieve stress, even if it's something that doesn't make logical sense - like buying shoes or playing video games."

He sighed. "Hence my dilemma. There is a therapeutic play group that she recommended for Caleb. It meets on Wednesday nights."

"But that's new comic book… oh, I get it now. So what are you going to do?"

His mouth twisted. "I suppose I can't sacrifice my son's health and future for an evening of whimsy and long-standing tradition with my closest friends."

Penny scooted a little closer to him and laid her hand on top of his where it was resting on his knee. Far from minding the physical contact, at the moment, the warmth of her hand felt soothing. It anchored him at a time when every decision he made took him further away from his comfortable, routine existence.

"You don't have to give up new comic book night, you know," she told him softly.

He frowned at her curiously. "Are you offering to take him in my stead? I was led to believe that my presence was, if not mandatory, then strongly recommended. There will be verbal exercises which we will need to practice at home."

"No, what I mean is that new comic book night doesn't have to be on a Wednesday."

Sheldon was quickly shaking his head. "Wednesdays are when Stuart receives his shipments. That's when he gets new comic books. So new comic book night is Wednesday."

" _Shel-_ don," she drawled, exasperated. "Just have Stuart set aside the ones you normally buy. They come in a series, right? So just have him write down which ones you want, and he can hold them for you. I'm sure he'd be willing to do that, especially if you suggested he could charge a small fee for the service."

Her suggestion was surprisingly logical, and yet that knowledge didn't comfort him. He sighed heavily. "It won't be the same."

She squeezed his hand, and he looked down, startled to find that she was still touching him. Misunderstanding the look he gave her, she withdrew her hand. "I know, honey, but you're doing the right thing, and I'm really proud of you."

Once again, her words affected him deeply. Her confidence in him made him feel like a man, not an overgrown boy. There were times when he wished he could let her know how much her support meant to him. He had already sent her a bouquet of flowers, but he was beginning to suspect there was no gift that would adequately express his gratitude.

The next evening, Sheldon told her that the guys had agreed to reschedule their night out at Stuart's comic book shop, although not without reservations.

"What could they possibly care? It's not like they're the ones taking care of a kid," Penny objected.

He pressed his lips together in a flat line. "Actually, they expressed disbelief that I might inconvenience myself for the sake of another person, even if the person in question is my own offspring."

She dropped her fork. "Seriously? What the hell? They're supposed to be your friends, and all they can do is give you a hard time."

He sighed. "Ever since I took custody of Caleb, my free time in the evenings has been significantly reduced. The four of us spend less time together, giving them plenty of opportunities for activities of which I do not approve, namely the pursuit of coitus. From certain comments they have made, I believe they enjoy their evenings more when I am not present, and so they are reluctant to accommodate the changes I have requested."

Penny stared at him, shaking her head slowly. "That's terrible. Okay, honey, put down your takeout for a minute."

"Why?" he asked as he complied.

"Because I need to give you a hug," she said as she wrapped her arms around him. "I know you don't like touching, but I have to do _something_ to show you that I'm on your side."

He closed his eyes and inhaled the green apple scent of her hair. "I suppose I have grown accustomed to you touching me," he confessed. In fact, lately he had been finding it rather… nice. It still made him feel twitchy, but somehow, her nearness wasn't entirely a bad thing. He scoffed at the foolish direction of his thoughts: a few weeks of raising a child, and he was turning into a hippie.

* * *

Sheldon, holding his son in his arms, trailed behind Penny as she walked into the therapy room. The room looked very much like a toddler play area, decorated in bright colors, although there were few toys to distract the toddlers. Several people were already sitting in a circle on the floor, which was covered with a thick foam padding. It was a relatively small group; with him and Penny added, there were eleven adults, and only one other man. Penny joined the circle and began chatting with the woman on her right. Sheldon glanced at the floor and then hesitated, looking around for a chair. He didn't see any, and immediately, he began to perspire. Did these strangers really expect him to sit on the floor that their shoes-and those of countless others-had walked on, depositing microscopic particles of toxic lawn chemicals, automobile exhaust, animal excrement and goodness only knows what else-

"Sheldon, sit," Penny hissed, tugging on his pant leg. He looked down to see that she had joined the circle, sitting cross-legged. He couldn't help but notice the way her short skirt had ridden up, exposing far too much of those long, perfectly tanned legs of hers. His thoughts disconcerted him even more, and at a second tug from Penny, he sat with all the grace of a marionette whose strings had been cut. The one woman without a child on her lap was the therapist with whom he had recently had the appointment. She introduced herself as Lisa, and then they went around the circle, each of the parents introducing themselves and their child. A few of the women made eye contact with him and smiled as they said their names, which made him nervous. He had no idea what they expected of him. After the woman on his left spoke, it was his turn.

"I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD. This is my son Caleb…" he hesitated. "And this is Penny; she's a friend." Penny gave him a quick glance he couldn't decipher, and then smiled and waved at the group.

The rest of the 45-minute session dragged by slowly. They sang songs and babbled sounds, trying to get their children to mimic them. Caleb seemed to warm up to the group after a while, and he even made a few consonant sounds… at Penny's prompting. Sheldon watched as she beamed at his son, and for a moment, he was almost jealous. He couldn't remember a time when anyone had ever given him such whole-hearted approval. His own friendship with Penny was fraught with hidden pitfalls. He never knew when he would say something which would incur her wrath, although her defense of Caleb was absolute… like a mother's, he thought. He had never felt that his mother had been entirely comfortable around him, and he realized that he interacted with his son in much the same fashion. He needed Penny's influence to become a better father. He had come to depend on her in so many ways.


	11. Chapter 11

After class, Penny's new friend, who had introduced herself as Lauren, motioned her close. "Those two are just so cute together… I could just eat them up," she said, looking over at Sheldon, who was trying to wrestle Caleb into his jacket; clearly, he was ready to leave. "You said the two of you are just friends?" Lauren was obviously fishing for information. Penny was amused at how often Sheldon seemed to attract women without having any clue. She shrugged, still annoyed at how he had introduced her as just a friend. He could have said "best friend" or even "close friend", although she was sure that would have implied something entirely different to most of the parents.

Lauren glanced over at them again, and her face darkened. "There goes Tiffany. That woman wouldn't know subtle if it smacked her in the face. Guess she'll be making a play for him first. But if you say he's not taken...?" She looked hopefully at Penny, who glanced over at Sheldon. He looked simultaneously bored and panicked to be cornered by one of the moms, and she shook her head. "Nope, and Tiffany's not going to get anywhere with him either."

"Oh, no. Is he…?"

"Gay? No, just totally uninterested in both men and women, as far as I can tell."

It was clear to Penny that Sheldon was being sized up that night. She made a few educated guesses about which of the women were single moms, based more on the flirtatious smiles they gave him than a lack of jewelry on their hands. After he had bluntly labeled her as a mere friend, she was rather ticked off at his casual dismissal of her, even though she wasn't sure what else she would have him say. Maybe that they were close friends? That they'd known each other for years? That she did almost as much to help raise Caleb as he did? She sighed unhappily. She was still working through her inconvenient crush on him. Every time she thought she had gotten over it, something would happen to prove her wrong… like the flowers he had bought her. No one had bought her flowers in years. Kurt had given her flowers once, and they looked like a gas station clearance item. Sheldon had given her a bouquet of brightly colored gerbera daisies. She wasn't even sure how he knew they were her favorite flower, but it was more the fact that they had come from him that made her squeal when she opened them. _Yup… definitely not over this stupid crush_ , she thought as she felt another swell of affection for him.

As she reflexively glanced over at him, she saw that Tiffany had apparently trapped him by the cubbies, ignoring his obvious signs of distress. The woman reached out and playfully stroked his arm, and he jerked backward. Now this was going too far. Penny was starting to feel that nobody-messes-with-my-Moonpie rage come over her. She stalked angrily toward the woman. As her Nebraska friends would say, she was about to snatch her bald-headed.

"I think your Caleb and my Annabelle would love to have a private playdate," Tiffany was cooing suggestively. She was trying to get Sheldon to accept a slip of paper which doubtless contained her contact information. _Probably her home address as well as her phone number_ , Penny thought darkly.

Sheldon frowned and shook his head vigorously. "I don't think that would be a good idea. Caleb is bigger and stronger, and he tends to play in a rougher manner which your daughter may not like."

Penny jerked to a halt, and her eyes bugged as she understood how that innocent statement might be misunderstood by the woman who had been trying to hit on him. She began snickering to see Tiffany gape at Sheldon, trying to puzzle out whether he was really suggesting he liked it rough. Penny yanked on his elbow as she snagged Caleb's diaper bag.

"Time to go, sweetie," she managed, turning red in the face in an effort not to dissolve into helpless laughter. She gathered Caleb just as swiftly, and once they were outside, she handed him to Sheldon. Then she clapped a hand over her mouth and finally let loose her merriment. Her giggles turned to laughter until the tears were running down her face, while Sheldon scowled at her, vainly tried to understand what was going on. When she eventually got her emotions under control, she explained what was so funny. Of course, he didn't see the humor in it at all.

On the ride home, Sheldon sulked. He crossed his arms and pointedly stared out the window all the way home. Once they pulled into the parking lot behind 2311 North Robles, Penny said, "Okay, I give up. I've made fun of you lots of times before. What's so different about this time?"

"You were being disrespectful," he muttered.

Since that much was obvious, she waited.

"Just because I have chosen to focus on my career rather than the pursuit of coitus does not give you license to mock me for my decisions. You act as if I were incapable instead of unwilling, and that is offensive."

She looked at him carefully. "Who cares if it means you're never gonna want to have sex either way?"

He frowned. "I am no longer free to focus solely on my career. I'm a parent now, little as I may wish to be. I have to consider what is best for Caleb, and that may one day include my marrying someone who would be a good maternal figure for him."

Penny swallowed hard. "You've thought about getting married?" she gasped. This was just too weird. Then suddenly, she thought, _He bought me flowers. He's complimented me. We have dinner together and hang out all the time._ There seemed to be a giant lump in her throat as she considered that Sheldon might be attempting to court her for all the wrong reasons... because he was looking for a mother for his son.

"It's a rather distant possibility. Although I know you find Caleb appealing, I imagine it would be difficult to find any woman who would meet my standards, and I know it's even less likely that the woman in question would agree to form a permanent liaison with me."

Penny couldn't deny the sharp pang of disappointment she felt. Of course, Sheldon had a list, even for the qualities he thought a good wife should have. She imagined that "super brilliant" and "doesn't speak unless spoken to" topped his list, along with all sorts of other things that she wasn't, like well-organized, a neat freak and a sci-fi fan.

Sheldon went on, "On the other hand, I am still working on establishing a routine for Caleb and myself. It may be years before I am ready to consider that possibility. The odds of my getting married at any point in the future are extremely low."

Penny didn't know if he had been about to say anything else, but he was interrupted by a thin, sleepy wail from Caleb. He had fallen asleep in his car seat, but now he had woken up and was looking at both of them with his lower lip trembling and his baby blue eyes brimming with tears. Instantly, she hopped out of the car and released the toddler from the straps which held him in.

"It's okay, sweetheart," she whispered, holding him close as she rubbed his back.

Sheldon had come around the car and watched as she cuddled his son. With a frown, he said, "You shouldn't coddle him every time he cries. He'll never learn to be independent if you continue to encourage his infantile behavior."

She gasped and turned her back to him as if to shield Caleb from him. Just when she thought Sheldon had changed, that he was making some sort of progress, he would say something so remarkably callous that she wanted to hit him. She blinked against the tears that sprang into her eyes. She didn't even care that he insulted her; she just hated to hear him criticize his son. "Why is it so hard for you to love him?" she whispered. "Love is what he needs from you, more than anything."

Sheldon fidgeted uncomfortably. "I have been his sole caregiver for less than two months," he answered. "While I admit to a certain... attachment to him, feeling affection does not come easily to me, and expressing it even less so."

For a few moments, she didn't respond as she rocked his son and hummed to him.

"I'm trying, Penny," he said at last, helplessly. "I have valued his needs as a higher priority than my routine. I feed him and bathe him and sing him to sleep. I evicted my best friend to make room for him, and yet parenting seems like an endless cycle of drudgery. It's not fair that you're accusing me of somehow failing my son!"

His voice had risen in volume until he was yelling in a sort of hushed way so as not to disturb Caleb, who slumped limply in Penny's arms.

"I don't think you're failing him," she objected. "I just want you to see him as someone deserving to be loved, not for anything he can do, but just for who he is."

Sheldon stood quietly. "That's another concept that is difficult for me to grasp," he admitted. "Doing so undermines much of what I believe. I know people don't like me, but as long as I'm certain that I'm more intelligent than them, it doesn't matter what they think. I will always be right because being a genius means I'm better than they are. If I'm not better, then… then everything they say about me is true. My intellect is the only reason anyone is willing to associate with me. Without that one consideration, I am nothing but a waste of natural resources."

Penny couldn't believe what she was hearing. Sure, she'd often heard it said that arrogant behavior really masked low self-esteem, but she had never seen the slightest crack in the armor of Sheldon's self-confidence until now. "You're so much more than just a genius, honey. You don't give yourself enough credit… or me either, because your IQ has nothing to do with the fact that we're friends." She took a step closer until they were almost touching. "You are a good man. The last few months have been some of the hardest in your life, and with one exception, you dug in and did what you had to. And you keep at it, every day. You take excellent care of Caleb. I see how much effort you put into making sure he's safe." She smiled down at the toddler, who was currently wearing a red onesie with the Flash logo on it. "The way you get so excited about your comic books and games is something he can't appreciate yet, but you're going to be a really _fun_ dad. I know that you'll always encourage him to use his imagination and to believe anything is possible. When we first found out about Caleb, I couldn't imagine you as a father. I know it's still really hard for you, but being a parent has brought out all of your best qualities and let them shine. Anyone who can't see that is a total loser." She said that last part with a smile, which faded into a look of shock as Sheldon gently and a bit awkwardly put his arms around her. Her breath caught in her throat as he rested his head on her shoulder, a mirror image of his son, who was still asleep in her arms.

"Thank you," he whispered. And that was the moment when she knew her feelings had gone far beyond a crush. She was in love with him.


	12. Chapter 12

Sheldon had endured four of the speech therapy sessions with Caleb, and he was both relieved and gratified to find that his son was making progress. He now had a list of a dozen words in Caleb's vocabulary, although sometimes it was still difficult for him to discern words in his son's pattern of babble. His favorite part of the therapy was the set of colorful, laminated flashcards with pictures of common objects. Penny had laughed to see how excited he got the night they handed those out. He had turned to her and cried, "Flashcards, Penny!" in unrestrained glee. He was fairly certain that most of the other parents now found him to be a little strange or off-putting. He had worked hard to train himself not to say all of the scathingly honest things which popped into his head and had vastly improved, but it was still all too easy to offend a parent already on the defensive about their child.

Penny continued to spend several nights a week with the two of them whenever she wasn't working. In fact, he saw her so often that he was beginning to become concerned that she wasn't earning enough to pay her bills. There were times when he wondered about the dynamic between himself and Penny. Ever since the night she had enumerated his good qualities, he could no longer think of her as merely a friend. He knew that any other man would have asked her on a date, or declared his feelings, or perhaps simply kissed her. But he couldn't ask her out on a date because she was the only one he trusted to watch Caleb; he wasn't sure what, exactly, his feelings were; and the idea of kissing her both thrilled and terrified him, to the point where he was paralyzed by indecision. Then, too, he remembered the online dating profile he had filled out for her when she had become obsessed with Age of Conan. She had claimed that when it came to initiating sex, she was a "big old five". Since she hadn't made a move on him, perhaps that showed she wasn't interested in him in the same way.

He lay in bed, staring at the ceiling as he once again pondered what, if anything, he should do. At one point, it had seemed so much easier to simply do nothing, but he felt a growing tension between that was beginning to make inaction untenable. He must have dozed off at some point, because the next thing he knew, he jerked upright, crying, "Danger! Danger!" Then he groaned as he heard Caleb crying, building up from fussing to a full-fledged wail. Blearily, he donned his robe and slippers before crossing the hallway. Caleb was standing up in his crib, holding onto the rail, while tears streamed down his litttle red face.

Sheldon frowned. "You should not be awake," he said. Caleb wailed harder. With a sigh, he patted his back and then tried to ease him back down onto the mattress.

"It's time to sleep," he said firmly. Caleb still woke up crying sometimes in the middle of the night, a habit which Sheldon hadn't yet been able to curb. He was determined to get Caleb to go back to sleep without further interaction. Unfortunately, his son was having none of it. He instantly struggled to his feet, gripping the bars of the crib, and he was gulping in those huge heaving breaths that meant he was working up to a full-fledge scream. _Oh dear Lord, not that_ , Sheldon thought frantically. He had already had several complaints about Caleb's crying from the neighbors both above and below him. Giving in, he picked him up. As soon as he held the baby against his chest, he noticed that Caleb felt unusually warm. His eyes widened, and he scurried for the medicine cabinet to get the digital thermometer. After making Caleb wail louder by holding the thermometer under his arm, Sheldon discovered that he had a temperature of 100.4 degrees.

He didn't know what to do. Suddenly, all the medical knowledge he had read seemed to just drain right out of his head, and he was staring at the still-crying baby in a panic. There was only one thing to do. He rushed over to Penny's apartment, clutching Caleb tightly. He knocked on her door.

Knock-knock-knock. "Penny!"

Knock-knock-knock. "Penny!"

Knock-knock-knock. "Penny!"

Then it occurred to him that maybe she was too sound of a sleeper to hear him knocking on her front door, so he ran back to fetch the spare key to his apartment. He hurried back, awkwardly juggling Caleb and the key until he fumbled the door open. He burst through the door, colliding with his next door neighbor. She fell backwards onto the floor with a startled grunt.

"Sheldon, what the _hell_!" she cried. "I heard you already. I think the whole building-"

"He's sick," Sheldon cut her off. He reached down and hauled her to her feet. "I didn't mean to knock you over, but Caleb has a fever, and he's crying, and… he has a _fever_ , Penny, and I don't know what to do!"

Penny blinked at Sheldon in surprise for a few seconds before gathering herself with an effort. "All right. Let me hold him for a minute."

She reached for the baby and cradled him on her shoulder, rubbing his back and making shushing noises. Sheldon couldn't help hovering over her. He didn't know if he needed to see what she was doing for future reference, or if it was for some other reason. She paced back and forth in her living room, humming quietly until Caleb gradually settled down. Then she felt his forehead and loosened his sleeper.

"He doesn't feel that warm to me, Sheldon. Even if he does have a fever, it's not very high, so I think he might feel better by morning if he can get some sleep." Penny crossed to her kitchen, opened a cabinet and got out a baby bottle. Seeing her struggling to twist off the top one-handed, he came over and took it from her.

"I can do that," he said quietly. "Just tell me what you need."

She instructed him to put some room-temperature tap water in the bottle. He looked shocked at the idea of giving Caleb unfiltered water, but she glared at him so fiercely that he did what she asked. She took the bottle and sat down on her sofa, cuddling Caleb in her lap and coaxing him to drink some water. He fussed a little at first, but eventually drank a few ounces. Soon, his eyelids were drooping, and his bottom lip quivered as he sucked reflexively on the bottle. Penny looked up at Sheldon and smiled.

"There, I think he'll feel better in the morning," she whispered. "You can come wake me up if he's still feverish. I can take you out to get some infant tylenol or something."

Sheldon nodded gratefully. He rarely used any form of medicine since moving to California, when his mother had made him promise not to do drugs, but he had no such compunctions for his son. He held three doors open for Penny as she carried the baby back to his crib, swaying gently as she walked so Caleb wouldn't waken from the sudden movement. She laid the toddler carefully down in his bed and stood there a moment, looking down on him with a tender expression on her face.

Then the two friends crept quietly out of the room. "Thank you, Penny," Sheldon said, once the baby's door was closed. "I have no explanation why I was unable to remember how to treat a low-grade fever in an infant."

Penny laid a hand on his arm and looked up into his face with a smile. "Honey, I'm so proud of you. Tonight, you acted like a parent instead of like a scientist. The fact that you were so worried about your son that you couldn't think logically is a big deal. I feel like you made this amazing breakthrough, and it makes me so happy to see how you've grown."

Sheldon stared at her. Not only was he uncertain what kind of response her speech warranted, he was also thrown off balance by how much her words of praise had pleased him and how strangely compelling he found the look in her eyes. He glanced down and became aware for the first time that Penny was wearing some sort of silky pajamas, with thin straps and a front that dipped down to reveal more than a hint of the curve of her breasts. The effect was very feminine and quite appealing. He took a step closer to her. Penny's eyes were huge and dark, and her lips were parted alluringly. He swallowed hard, suddenly wondering if her mouth tasted as delectable as she looked. As if she read his mind, Penny took a step closer to him and slid her arms around him. He savored the contact, even going so far as to place his hands against her back. Then she reached up to stroke the side of his face, and the gesture was so unexpected, so shockingly intimate, that he was overwhelmed. She whispered his name and drew his head down to her level. Her lips touched his, and everything just... stopped. There was never a more important time for him to be aware of exactly what he was experiencing. Unfortunately, her nearness seemed to have robbed him of all power of sentient thought. He couldn't move, couldn't speak. He completely froze up. All too soon, Penny pulled out of his embrace, not meeting his gaze.

"Wow, so, uh… that was... stupid. Just… just do me a favor and pretend this never happened, okay? We're still friends… just friends, I promise."

She was gone before he could gather up the presence of mind to respond. Slowly, the meaning of her words penetrated his mental haze. _Pretend this never happened…_ _just friends…_ For less than two seconds, his existence had been elevated to heights he had never dreamed of, and then that fragile hope had been crushed as swiftly as it had dawned. Bewildered, he stumbled to his 0,0,0,0 spot on the leather sofa and found it cold comfort when weighed against that one glorious moment.

The first rays of daylight found him still huddled in his spot. He had come to two conclusions during the night: one, that he had somehow disappointed her. He had no idea of what to do when she kissed him. Inadvertently, he had signaled some kind of distaste or lack of interest. Two, he needed some kind of help to find out what he should have done differently. Ordinarily, in any sort of social matters, she was the one he turned to for advice, but he was reluctant to cause any further tension between them. Leonard, Howard and Raj had distanced themselves from his somewhat since Caleb's arrival, but they were still his closest friends. He would ask one of them.


	13. Chapter 13

The next morning, Sheldon was ready for work a half-hour early and was fairly twitching with impatience by the time Leonard pulled up outside the apartment building. He only checked Caleb's car seat restraints twice before buckling in himself.

"Leonard, I need your help," he began.

"I told you, I'm not good with babies," Leonard answered tiredly.

"Don't be silly. If I had a question about Caleb, I would ask either his pediatrician or Penny. No, I'm not sure how to respond to a particular social situation."

"What happened? Did they kick you out of that baby play group?"

"No, and for the umpteenth time, Caleb is a toddler, not a baby, and he attends a weekly speech therapy session, not a play group." He paused, gathering his thoughts. He had determined that Leonard would be the best person from whom to seek advice based on two criteria: one, he had experienced a similar situation. Penny had kissed Leonard shortly after they met. Since she had spent the next few years pretending it never happened, Sheldon figured he could at least learn from his friend what _not_ to do. The second point was that he knew that Leonard had secretly begun dating a physics grad student by the name of Mandy Chow. Although it wasn't strictly forbidden for a professor to date a student, the university frowned upon such things. If Leonard tried to make trouble for him over Penny's actions, Sheldon wasn't above a little blackmail to keep his former roommate in line. So he took a deep breath and confessed, "Penny kissed me."

Leonard glanced at him in shock, and then his face relaxed and he chuckled. "You mean on the cheek or something? Just tell her to stop touching you like you always do. Trust me, she's your friend. She won't be offended… well, not any more offended than she normally is by you."

"No," Sheldon replied irritably. "She kissed me on the mouth, and I'm fairly certain from what she said immediately afterward that it was not meant as merely a friendly gesture."

Leonard gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white and swore softly under his breath. "I _knew_ this was coming! Somehow, I just knew it. The two of you have been spending way too much time together lately."

"I think this would be an excellent time to remind you that you are already in a relationship with another woman." Sheldon said drily. "But I don't need help because she kissed me. I need help because I did something wrong. After the kiss, she said 'that was stupid', although her pronoun usage was vague, so I'm not certain what she was referencing. Then she asked me to pretend it never happened and said we were just friends. I have no idea what the appropriate social protocol is! You're an expert at having women lose interest in you. What should I do?" His voice rose in pitch as he started to panic again.

Leonard glanced over at him far too long for Sheldon's comfort, seeing that he was still driving. "You sound as if you didn't mind that she kissed you. Do you… do you have feelings for her?"

"I have always had feelings about Penny," Sheldon replied loftily. "When we first met, I regarded her with annoyance and indifference. Then we became friends, and I tolerated her whimsical inconsistencies. Lately, I have come to strongly rely on her, and I realize that I have a great deal of admiration for her. I have been considering suggesting an alteration to our paradigm, but I wasn't sure how to go about it."

There was a heavy sigh, and then Leonard said slowly, "Sounds to me like you have feelings for her. Maybe she did too, or maybe it was just an impulse she regrets. I don't think she would've kissed you and then said she wanted to be friends for no reason. Did you say anything to her? What did you do when it happened?"

"I didn't _do_ anything," Sheldon answered. "I was very much taken aback. People don't like me, Leonard. I'm not a likable person. Perhaps she was just toying with me."

"No," Leonard replied after another long pause. "I don't think she would do that. I can't believe I'm giving you relationship advice. I _really_ can't believe it's because of Penny, but even since Caleb showed up, the two of you have been inseparable. She wouldn't spend all that time with you just because of the baby. She likes you. I know, it sounds crazy. Maybe she's not as normal as I originally thought. Anyway, she kissed you to find out if you felt the same way. And if you just stood there like a statue, she probably figured you didn't. That's why she said you were just friends."

Now it was Sheldon's turn to be silent. Finally, he asked, "What do I do if I also find I… like her?"

"I guess you have to ask yourself if you really want to be involved with her. If you can stand the idea of her… you know, kissing you and stuff," Leonard said diffidently. "And if your answer is yes, then you need to let her know." Another sigh, and then, "She wanted you to kiss her back," he added in a low voice.

Sheldon huffed irritably. "I have taught myself a number of useful skills, such as swimming, by researching the topic online. So far, I've found very little helpful information about good kissing techniques. There are far too many so-called articles that lead directly to some extremely inappropriate sites."

"Yeah, you don't want to click on those banner ads. They just launch malware attacks at your computer," Leonard replied, sounding as if he knew from experience. "You, uh… you researched kissing techniques though?" He sighed again. "I guess I always knew my dreams were too good to be true. Look, forget about internet research. Just go tell her you like her too, but you don't know what to do next. I'm sure she'll show you what to do."

After dropping Caleb off at the daycare, they drove the rest of the way to the university in silence. Leonard had been looking forward to seeing Mandy (she stopped by his office between classes whenever she could), but now his excitement had dimmed. He thought longingly of Penny. No other woman in his life had ever compared to her. He looked at his tall, geeky best friend who had no idea what to do with a sexy, vibrant woman like her. _If he screws this up_ , Leonard thought _, I'll be right there waiting for the rebound._

* * *

Penny had tossed and turned the rest of the night. She couldn't stop wondering if she had done the right thing. The worst case scenario was that after he had recovered from his shock, Sheldon might be furious with her. If she somehow caused him to spend less time with her, she would be devastated. Then there was the possibility that he either thought less of her for kissing him, or merely regarded it as a curiosity he couldn't understand. For a long time, she had been certain his attitude toward sex was the same: he acted as if it was bizarre and distasteful.

She needed advice. Unfortunately, she had few good options. There was her new friend from work, Bernadette, who had probably heard more than she wanted to about Penny's dilemma. Bernie was waitressing to finance the last semesters of a doctorate degree in microbiology. She was also tiny, shy, soft-spoken, and still lived with her parents. When she learned those things, Penny had sighed, resigning herself to the fact that it seemed to be her lot in life to have brilliant but socially awkward friends.

Bernie had told her she was too busy between her studies and work to have much of a social life, so she couldn't really relate to Penny's problem. That and the fact that she couldn't stand little kids made her unsympathetic. Of course, she was always seeing kids at their worst at the Cheesecake Factory, where parents expected their kids to patiently wait a long time to eat, and then be okay with the restaurant's mac and cheese when all they really wanted was the stuff that came out of a box. If the Cheesecake Factory was her only experience with kids, Penny imagined she might swear off them for life too. So Bernadette really couldn't understand why Penny would voluntarily spend time with a toddler. Trying to explain that she had a crush on the customer that the other servers called "crazy hamburger guy" was even more of a stretch. Still, Bernie was her closest friend besides Sheldon, so Penny poured out her messed-up troubles to her at the beginning of their shift, as they were waiting for the first customers to trickle in.

Bernie frowned. "So he didn't react in any way? Not even when you told him it was a mistake?"

"You gotta understand, he kind of freezes up sometimes… like a deer in the headlights of an oncoming car."

"If you're the oncoming car, then I don't think that's a good sign."

Penny groaned. "I know. I just… _went_ for it like I always do. Maybe I should've... I don't know, talked to him or something first, but that's not really my style."

Bernie sighed and fidgeted with the round server's tray she was holding. "I'm no psychologist, but I've taken a class, and I known a few people who are getting their PsyD. Have you ever heard the term 'emotional transference'? It means that you have feelings for one person or thing, and you transfer those feelings onto someone or something else. Look, I know how wrapped up you've gotten with that kid, and I'll admit, he is a cutie. He looks a lot like his dad, which I think is part of the problem. You think you like the dad because you like his kid. But if you went for it, and it didn't work out, I think that's a pretty clear sign. You need to move on and find a normal guy, one who doesn't have a snot-nosed toddler clinging to his pant leg."

After a long pause, Penny said glumly, "I don't know. Maybe you're right."

"You're always telling me I don't have a life. Why don't the two of us go out together? We can run home right after work, get changed and meet at a club somewhere."

"It's been a while since I went out dancing," Penny agreed, although she still sounded reluctant. "But not tonight: I'm not used to staying up until two in the morning anymore. Do you have off tomorrow night?"

"Yeah," Bernie said. "Sounds like a plan."

Penny agreed, hiding her disappointment. She had known all along that her crush on Sheldon wasn't going to end well. _I guess it's time to move on_ , she thought, but she knew getting over her heartache wouldn't be that easy.


	14. Chapter 14

The next night, they arranged to meet at a nearby club. Penny was relieved to see that Bernie, who was a rather conservative, shy person, wore a cute red cocktail dress, even if she still sported her dark glasses. They hung out at a high-topped table for a while. Penny taught Bernadette the fine art of flirting with guys so they'd get free drinks, but other than that, she wasn't having much fun.

"Penny, is something wrong? That's the third time you've looked at your phone in the past ten minutes," Bernadette said with a slight frown.

"What? Oh, yeah... I'm fine," Penny replied distractedly. The truth was, she wasn't really having a good time. This used to be what she lived for: going out dancing and flirting and seeing how many guys she could get to buy her a drink. Now it just seemed so pointless. She didn't want to be here; she wanted to be home with her guys. She wanted to hear Caleb's little baby giggles and smell his soft hair, which smelled exactly like his dad's because they both used the same baby shampoo. She wanted to see Sheldon's face glow with pride whenever his son called him "Dada". She wanted to feel the toddler's warmth as he snuggled in her lap while she read him _Goodnight Moon_. And yeah, she'd rather curl up on the leather sofa watching sci-fi with Sheldon than flirt with a bunch of drunk, horny strangers.

"You're thinking about him again," Bernadette said, interrupting her train of thought. "You're not his mother, for crying out loud. Forget about him and have a good time. Go dance with that cute guy over there," she added, giving Penny a shove toward the dance floor.

Penny turned back toward the bar, arms crossed defensively. "Stop giving me a hard time. I just don't feel like dancing right now."

Bernadette took a deep breath and patted the stool next to her. "Okay, sit down, Penny. We need to talk. You can't let yourself get all wrapped up with this kid because you'll only end up getting hurt. You know what will happen? Sooner or later, Sheldon will decide to move because Caleb needs a backyard to play in, or a better school system. A few years from now, they'll be looking at old photos, and Caleb will point to a picture of you and say, 'Who's that?' and Sheldon will say, 'That's our neighbor Penny from back when we lived in the apartment. Don't you remember her?' Caleb will say no, and that will be the end of it."

Bernie was right. Penny couldn't possibly imagine any scenario in which her heart wasn't going to get broken, because the truth was, it already had, just realizing that Bernie probably spoke the truth. Her face crumpled, and she put a hand over her mouth, fighting to keep from crying in a room crowded with strangers. "You're right. I know it doesn't make sense, but how can I let go when I love him so much?"

Bernie looked at her sharply. "Are you talking about Caleb or Sheldon?"

Penny stared at her friend, unable to answer.

"When you talk about Sheldon, you have almost the exact same look on your face as you do when you talk about Caleb. Your eyes get all soft and dreamy, and you smile like… well, like you're in love."

"I- I do not!" Penny cried, reddening.

"Look, I get it, Penny," Bernie said. "You've fallen for the baby, and he reminds you of his father so much that you think you have feelings for Sheldon too. After all, he is tall, dark and brilliant. If he weren't such a nutcase, he'd be quite a catch."

"He's not crazy. His mother had him tested," Penny shot back, then her face paled. "Holy crap, I sound just like him. I need help. Bernie, what do I do?"

"I already told you, I think you should move on. Find someone else… or you could talk to Sheldon and see if somewhere in that weird, offbeat brain of his are any feelings for you."

All the color drained from Penny's face, and she shook her head. "No, I don't think he does. I haven't heard from him since… you know. I think if he had anything to say to me, he would've said it by now."

"Then go out and meet someone," Bernie said, giving her a gentle shove.

"What about you? I don't want to leave you here by yourself."

"Oh, don't worry about me. That cute guy over there just sent me a drink. If you leave, I think he'll come over here."

Penny glanced toward the bar and then did a double-take. " _Howard_? _He's_ the cute guy? That one over there with the bowl-cut?" Ever since Sheldon had realized he couldn't easily take Caleb out to a restaurant, he had given up coming to the Cheesecake Factory on Tuesday nights. Instead, he got takeout from an Indian restaurant that Leonard never liked. Meanwhile, his friends celebrated their freedom from Sheldon's schedule by going out to a different bar every Tuesday night.

Bernie giggled and gave Howard a little finger wave. "You know him?"

"Yeah, he works with Sheldon and Leonard and Raj. He's an engineer at Caltech, but he's really a perv. I don't think he's your type at all," she added, glancing at the cross Bernie always wore around her neck.

"There's no harm in talking. Besides, I can handle myself," Bernie said with a hint of steel in her voice. Penny looked at her in surprise.

"Go," Bernie urged. She gave Penny a wry look. "In case you haven't noticed, no guy is gonna pay attention to me as long as you're here at the table too."

"Fine. Just promise me you won't go home with Howard," Penny said. She tossed back the rest of her drink and headed out onto the dance floor. The night was still young, and there were plenty of fish in the sea… or something like that.

* * *

There was definitely nothing sexy about walking up four flights of stairs, Penny decided. The nice buzz that she'd gotten from the free drinks was fading, and she couldn't even remember the name of the guy who was trailing behind her. Reese... Reed... Rico? Something like that. They reached the fourth floor landing, and she stopped in front of her door and rooted around in her purse for her keys. As soon as she had them in her hand, the guy kissed her, backing her up against the door. He was a good kisser, no doubt about that. _Probably from all the girls he's been with_ , Penny thought sourly, and then wondered why that mattered. Regardless, she wasn't really in the mood. She knew she was only inviting this guy into her apartment to end this stupid crush she had on Sheldon. She extricated herself from his embrace and opened the door.

"Have a seat," she said, a little more emphatically than she meant to, gesturing to the living room. She got a bottle of wine out of her cabinet. "I need something to drink; how about you?"

"Uh… sure," he responded, not seeming to care that she had basically implied that she wasn't drunk enough to sleep with him. She filled her glass almost to the brim and downed half of it before she joined him on the loveseat. He took a polite sip of his drink before he reached for her again. She tried to get into it, but there was just no spark. He seemed like a nice guy, he was a good dancer, and he was hot. But even as his hands were working towards second base, she felt nothing towards him but a vague irritation. She let him fool around a little; after all, she felt she owed him at least that much since she invited him up to her place. Then she pushed his hands away.

"Hey, um…." _Shoot, what was his name?_ "This really isn't working for me. Sorry."

He sighed. "Yeah, you seemed like you'd kinda checked out. I was just hoping… maybe if you had some more wine?"

"No. You see, there's this guy… it's kind of complicated." She glanced involuntarily toward her front door.

"Your ex?" he asked.

She grimaced. "I wish. I've never had any problems getting over an ex. He's… I guess he's the one guy I can't have."

She stood, and he did too, looking her up and down slowly. "Can't imagine what's wrong with him if he doesn't want you."

She smiled. "Thanks. Want me to call you a cab?"

He shook his head. "Nah. I'm gonna get back to the bar before it gets too late. Nice meeting ya, Perri," he said as he let himself out.

 _Perri?_ she thought, suddenly angry at him. _Holy crap, I was gonna sleep with some guy, and he didn't even know my name. Not like I knew his, but… oh hell, I've got bigger problems. I kicked him out because of Sheldon._ Despite her best efforts, her crush was still going strong.

* * *

Sheldon slumped on the sofa, scowling at the TV screen and generally feeling miserable. He'd been wrong about Penny after all. He had spent the entire day unable to focus on work. Instead, he'd been trying to figure out what to say to her, but that night, when he'd gone over to knock on her door, she wasn't home. Taking care of Caleb had turned him into a very light sleeper, so he had woken up when he heard Penny and her date stumbling up the third flight of stairs. He had pressed his eye to the peephole just in time to see a ruggedly good-looking guy crowd Penny aggressively against her front door and kiss her. She didn't look like she had any objections to this treatment. Shocked and dismayed, Sheldon had watched as Penny let the man into her apartment. He had no illusions about what would happen behind her closed door. Unable to sleep, he had turned on the television in an effort to distract himself and found reruns of _Babylon 5_ on the Syfy channel, which perfectly suited his mood. He hated the show with a passion. Less than half an hour later, Penny's date left her apartment. This didn't give Sheldon any reason to hope, however. Unfortunately, he had heard his friends discuss sex often enough to know that the actual act was often over in less than ten minutes.

Penny didn't text him at all the next day. He was so used to carrying on a fairly constant stream of digital banter with her that its absence unnerved him. He kept glancing at his phone, and then scowling darkly when he saw he had no new notifications. With a pang, he realized that she had gradually insinuated her way into his life. He missed her dreadfully and was forced to confront the fact that he needed her… wanted her. Maybe he was even in love with her. His timing was execrable, and the timing of the news he received the next day was even worse.


	15. Chapter 15

Sheldon stared at the letter in his hand. It was printed on thick, expensive, cream-colored paper which solemnly emphasized the very great honor he had been awarded: an NSF grant. Only a handful of the nation's top scientists were invited to participate in the National Science Foundation's annual expedition. Months ago, when he had submitted his grant proposal, he hadn't held out much hope that he would get it. But that morning, President Seibert had called him into his office and presented the grant in person. For a short period of time, he had been elated. If he could detect evidence of slow-moving monopoles in the polar ice cap, he would be immortalized as the man who proved string theory. After that, winning the Nobel would be almost guaranteed.

As he was walking across the campus back to his office, he stopped suddenly. Caleb - in his initial excitement, he had forgotten about his son, or rather, the impact the little boy had on his life. He was no longer free to simply pick up and move to the North Pole for three months. Some sort of arrangement would have to be made for his care, but there was no neat and tidy solution. Penny would be his obvious first choice as a caregiver, but her job, menial as it was, occupied her time on evening and weekends. Nor did he think her manager at the Cheesecake Factory would be willing to hold her job for three months, and he didn't think he could afford to pay her to provide full-time care for his son either. His mother, of course, would love to have her grandson visit, but she also had a job, not to mention the fact that Caleb barely knew her.

Sheldon frowned. That led him to another point: his son had developed an emotional attachment disorder from his early experience of being passed around from one caregiver to the next. This had caused his delayed speech, which after more than a month of deliberate intervention, had only improved slightly. Sheldon had always dismissed the importance of emotions, but there was no denying that his son needed a type of nurturing he was barely beginning to approximate. Asking someone else to shoulder that burden might make things easier for him, but it could be damaging to his son. His own mother had never disappeared from his life for an extended amount of time when he was a child. He remembered a time when she had left for three days to visit her sister Charlene, who lived in another state. Although he had been only six at the time, he vividly remembered how furious he had been that his routine had been thrown into chaos. His father didn't know how to do anything right, so he'd sulked and had temper tantrums. He tried to imagine all that anger and confusion distorting his own son's impression of him, and he couldn't see how he could leave.

He wrestled with the issue all morning without coming any closer to an answer. So he resorted to his usual default: at lunch time, he asked his friends what they thought. Their initial surprise quickly gave way to envy when he told them about the NSF grant. Then he posed his dilemma about Caleb.

Leonard frowned. "I think you're overreacting," he said. "I mean, my childhood was a lot worse, and I grew up to be a functional adult."

Sheldon wasn't so sure about that, but he was hardly a stellar example of a functional adult either, so he let it slide.

"I moved three thousand miles to get away from my parents," Raj said.

"That's hardly the same thing. You were an adult who was responding to a job offer to work at one of the most prestigious universities in the world. Caleb's an infant," Sheldon protested.

Howard shook his head. "There were plenty of times in my childhood when I wished I could run away, but that guilt my mom knows how to dish out is like an invisible noose around my neck."

Sheldon was silent for a moment. "Even if I could find the perfect caregiver, I still feel some hesitation at the idea of leaving him for three months."

Leonard tilted his head to the side as he regarded his former roommate. "You sound as if you really care about this kid," he said at last.

"Is it so surprising? He is my son, after all… my biological offspring."

"I've got it! This is about Penny, isn't it?" Leonard cried. "You think if you send the three of us away, you'll have her all to yourself."

Sheldon darted a quick glance at Raj and Howard. Since neither of them were reacting to Leonard's accusation, he could only assume that at some point, Leonard had told them about Penny kissing him. Repressing a sigh, he answered, "She no longer factors into my calculations. Last night, she had what my mother would refer to as a 'gentleman caller', although he was hardly treating her as a gentlemen should."

Leonard shook his head. "Let's face it. We're all out of her league. Neither of us ever had a chance with her."

Sheldon frowned. As he had analyzed the events of the past few days, his own conclusion was that the time Penny kissed him _had_ been his chance. He simply hadn't realized it. He poked listlessly at his food. "I understand that the guidelines of the grant don't require me to be present myself in order to conduct the experiment," he said.

Leonard wrinkled his nose up in confusion. "I don't think you can send some kind of robot to carry out your experiment for you."

"No, I mean that if I had an official partner in my research, that person could conduct the experiment in my stead," he answered.

Three mouths dropped open in shock. "You… you're offering to share credit?" Leonard stammered.

"I don't see that I have any alternative."

"I'm in!"

"Me too!"

"Hey, you need an engineer in case your equipment gets damaged in transit…"

Sheldon glanced around at the three faces turned eagerly toward him. "Very well. As long as there are no official objections from NSF, I will allow all three of you to go in my place."

"And our names go on the paper," Raj cut in eagerly.

"Yeah, even mine. I want it in writing, notarized and everything," Howard chimed in.

Sheldon heaved a heavy sigh. "Agreed." He glanced once more at the food which held no appeal for him, then rose and dumped the remainder of his lunch into the trash can.

He didn't see Penny again for several days, but she finally responded to one of his texts inviting her to have dinner with him. He suspected that her acceptance stemmed from a desire to see Caleb rather than any interest in spending time with him, but he was relieved that she said yes. He hated it when she was gone. As much as he had come to care for - even love - his son, the little boy's cheerful babble couldn't fill the emptiness caused by Penny's absence. When she arrived, he was careful to keep the conversation light and casual, only mentioning in passing that his grant had been approved. Penny, of course, smiled and told him it was great news, and then launched into a story about one of her customers at work. She had no idea how prestigious an NSF grant was, and since he couldn't go on the expedition himself, he didn't care to enlighten her. Besides, there was something soothing in just listening to her friendly chatter. He could almost pretend that everything was back to normal between them.

As he was clearing away their takeout containers and she was cleaning off Caleb's face, she asked, "So… uh… do you really need me to be there for Caleb's next therapy session?"

His head came up, and he stared at her in consternation. "What do you mean? Have you been scheduled to work despite your repeated requests to have Wednesday nights free?"

"No, no, I mean… I just thought that maybe you could handle it yourself. You don't really need me there."

Sheldon walked over to the kitchen and busied himself getting the antibacterial cleaner from under the sink to buy some time. "Perhaps your presence is not strictly required for Caleb's therapy, but we both need you." Despite the pleasant time they had spent together that evening, Sheldon was growing increasingly frustrated with her absence. He suspected it was related when she kissed him. Unfortunately, he hadn't been able to decide on an appropriate response before she had given up on him and found someone else. When he saw her bringing some other man into her home - one who was better-looking and had a better physique - he had never wanted to punch another guy quite so badly. Abruptly, he stood and demanded, "Why did you invite that drunken buffoon into your apartment the other night?" His tone was accusatory. He hated how weak he felt, knowing he had come to care for Penny but that she didn't return his feelings.

"I… Hey, that was really late at night! Were you spying on me?" she cried.

"Of course not, but the two of you made so much noise stumbling up the stairs it's a wonder you didn't wake the whole apartment complex," he snapped.

She paled. "I deserve to get out and have a good time every now and then. I have a life of my own. I'm not some… some servant you can order around."

Sheldon slammed the bottle of cleaner down on the counter. Caleb startled and began to cry at the loud noise. Penny scowled at him and began to free Caleb from the confines of his high chair. Sheldon was by her side in less than two seconds. He pushed her hands away and unbuckled Caleb himself, and then picked him up, seemingly oblivious to his son's food-splattered clothes.

"If having a drunken sexual encounter with a virtual stranger that lasts for less than twenty minutes is your idea of a good time, then perhaps you should leave," he said coldly.

Penny gasped in shock, and then she scowled furiously. "Oh, like hanging out with a baby and going to bed at ten o'clock every night and _never getting laid_ is better? You know what? You've made this a hell of a lot easier for me. I'm done. I'm tired of waiting around for you to..." She shook her head and seemed to deflate. "Never mind. I just… I can't do this anymore. It's tearing me up inside."

Sheldon was watching her intently. "I don't understand," he said slowly, and she knew it was a difficult admission for him to make. That didn't change the fact that this argument had done more to convince her she needed to move on than anything Bernie had ever said.

"It doesn't matter. I'll still babysit for you, but other than that, I need some space. Don't try to contact me for a while." She was almost to the front door when she turned around. "And just for the record, I never slept with that guy. I kicked him out after a few minutes. I couldn't even remember his name."


	16. Chapter 16

After Penny left, Sheldon went through his son's bedtime routine by rote. Once Caleb was bathed and in his pajamas, he sat on Sheldon's lap in the rocking glider in the corner of the nursery. Sheldon read three books, but his son refused to settle down. Finally, he took Caleb back out to the living room, where he cued up an episode of classic Trek. He chose "Spock's Brain", one of his least favorite, so he wouldn't be distracted by the show as he tried to puzzle out what had happened between him and Penny. She had said a number of strange things and hinted at subtext that he simply wasn't capable of grasping. His mouth twisted in a bitter grimace: when it came to physics, he was one of the top minds in the world. When it came to women, he was clueless.

"I'm tired of waiting around for you… It's tearing me up inside." Penny's words seemed to echo in his head as he replayed the memory over and over again. It simply made no sense to him, especially in light of the argument they had.

When the end credits started rolling past, he lifted the limp, warm body of his son and carried him back to his crib. He kissed his son on the forehead before laying him down on the mattress. Caleb stirred but didn't wake up as Sheldon covered him with a light blanket and set his favorite stuffed animal - a green giraffe, which had been a gift from Penny - within reach. For several minutes, he just stood there and watched his son sleep. There was nothing particularly interesting or exciting about observing a sleeping child. His actions had little to do with the fact that this was his biological offspring. Caleb had always been that, even before he'd been aware of the child's existence. No, the difference was that, over time, he had come to have a deep attachment for the boy. In a relatively short period of time, he had come to tolerate great upheaval in his life because of the emotion he felt for this one little boy.

It didn't take a genius to recognize the parallels between the way he felt about his son and the way he felt about Penny. On the surface, she was no one special: a wannabe actress, pretty but with no real focus or direction in her life. She drank too much and bought too many pairs of designer shoes, probably on maxed-out credit cards. He was the one who had changed. When he first met her, he had grudgingly tolerated her presence only for Leonard's sake. Over the next few years, they had bonded in unexpected ways: she sang him "Soft Kitty" when he was sick and hung out with him in the laundry room on Saturday nights. It had taken the unwanted insertion of a one-year-old into his life to show him the depths of her kindness, empathy and generosity. He loved her enthusiasm, her loyalty and the way she seemed to light up the room wherever she went. He loved… he loved her.

"I'm in love with her," he whispered softly over the still form of his peacefully sleeping son. "And I think I've just driven her away."

* * *

He didn't see her again for several days. Every spare moment he had was occupied with details for the upcoming monopole experiment. Cold weather clothing was ordered, equipment had to be checked and carefully packed, and three months' worth of supplies needed to be shipped north ahead of time. He spent hours going over the parameters of his hypothesis with Leonard, Raj and Howard, in case they needed to make a decision about the experiment but couldn't get a hold of him. In the midst of all this chaos, he saw Penny only on the Thursday night when she came to babysit Caleb.

When she saw him, she gave him a hesitant smile. "Hey, I'm sorry about what I said before. I shouldn't get mad at you for being you."

"Perhaps I also said some things which I had not thoroughly considered," Sheldon answered after a long pause.

This time, she grinned. "You really suck at apologizing." Then she paused. "Hey, um… I just wanted you to know that I'm going to be taking some acting classes. I scraped together the money. They're just some classes that a local theater group is offering, but I think I could make some really useful connections. I've gotta try something, you know? My acting career is going nowhere."

"That sounds like a prudent decision, but why are you telling me?" he asked.

"Because I might not see you as much for a while. They're evening classes, and there's workshops at nights too. I just thought it was time I started taking my acting seriously."

He watched the way she was avoiding his gaze and knew that somehow their friendship had been damaged, perhaps irrevocably. It was partly his fault for arguing with her, but he also blamed her for giving up on him so quickly.

"Are we still friends?" he asked in a low voice.

She frowned and was silent for much longer than he liked. "Yeah. I just need some time away… from you. We'll be okay eventually."

He didn't like her answer and found her attitude to be irrational, but he also knew better than to try to pressure her into coming to some sort of resolution.

* * *

Leonard, Howard and Raj departed for the Arctic the following week, and Sheldon was sorry to see them leave. Making arrangements for the research trip had at least been an effective distraction from his troubles with Penny. On the first Thursday night after the guys left, Penny came over to babysit Caleb as usual. He told her that he decided not to go to the comic book store since his friends were away and asked her to join him for dinner. She made excuses and left. For the next few weeks, he could only occasionally draw her into a casual conversation. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he was feeling very alone and dejected. After some deliberation, he decided to use some of his vacation time to take his son to Texas to visit his family. He wanted to keep the promise he had made to himself that Caleb would get to know his father's beloved Meemaw.

They traveled by train, and Sheldon was pleased to see that his son seemed to love that mode of conveyance as much as he did. Caleb loved looking out the window, watching the ever-changing landscape rush by, and the gently rocking and clacking of the train lulled him to sleep at night. He slept through the night the entire time on the train, but his dad tossed and turned. Sheldon composed and deleted any number of texts and emails to Penny. He thought about calling her, but he wasn't sure she would even answer when she saw it was him on her caller ID.

Eventually, he sent her a single text that read: _I want us to be friends again._

She answered: N _eed more time._

* * *

Sheldon had taken two weeks' vacation, and he tried his best to enjoy the time he spent with his Meemaw. Even his mother and siblings received his best efforts to behave himself. When his mother mentioned creationism, he made a deliberate choice not to respond. Instead, he turned the conversation back to his son. Much to his mother's delight, Caleb had begun to call her "Nana", accompanied by a huge baby grin whenever he saw her. She loved taking her grandson to the playground or showing him off around town to her friends. Sheldon actually found he had more free time than he had imagined. He spent several afternoons having tea with his Meemaw while she talked about the fond memories she had of him as a child. Other times, he had his mother's house to himself, and he would lie in the guest room bed, tormented by thoughts of Penny. Once, he even found his hand had drifted down between his legs, and he snatched it away, horrified. The idea of touching himself while thinking about her seemed an egregious violation of his feelings for her.

He could tell that his family knew something was wrong. His Meemaw always had freshly-baked cookies when he went to visit. His mother made spaghetti with cut-up hot dogs and didn't complain when he turned the TV to scientific documentaries in the evening. Even Missy was kind instead of over-bearing. Only his older brother, George Jr., treated him exactly the same. In a way, Sheldon almost appreciated it. At least he knew his brother wasn't speculating about him behind his back. Since none of his family members attempted to pry into his business, he assumed they thought he was still struggling to adapt to being a father.

Near the end of his trip home, he found out that Penny's acting classes had paid off, but he was even more miserable at the way he found out. She didn't tell him in person about the minor role she had gotten in a movie. He had to read about it on her Facebook page, like some acquaintance she hadn't seen in years. By the time he returned, she would be gone away to Vancouver for six weeks. Briefly, he considered taking the train up north to see her instead of returning to Pasadena, but he eventually decided against it. She'd made it clear she didn't want to talk to him.

When Sheldon returned to work at Caltech, the first thing he did was to place a framed photo on his desk. It was a picture of Caleb sitting on Meemaw's lap. The elderly woman was beaming, and the little boy was reaching up toward her face. Sheldon had been the one to snap the photo with his cell phone, so he knew that his son had actually been grabbing for Meemaw's gold-framed glasses. Nonetheless, the picture made him smile every time he saw it. Penny's absence still felt like an open wound. He missed being able to tell her about his day or share some small accomplishment of Caleb's. Nevertheless, he had learned a lot in the past several months from being a father. The one thing he put into practice now was that he had to keep going forward with his life, no matter what. Penny wasn't there at the moment, and she might still not be ready to be friends again when she came back. But his son still needed him. For Caleb's sake, he had to be strong.


	17. Chapter 17

Penny was gone the rest of the summer. Almost as disheartening to Sheldon was the news that his monopole experiment had yielded no results. Even though he knew it was a long shot, he was still disappointed. Leonard, Howard, and Raj had gotten so stir crazy in their tiny cabin that they had played a series of increasingly mean-spirited pranks on each other. By the time they returned to California, the three guys were all heartily sick of each other's company, although Sheldon did make plans to have each of them over for dinner individually. He found that he enjoyed bonding with each of his friends one on one and made a mental note to repeat the experience at some point in the future.

As the new fall semester started up at Caltech, Penny came back from Vancouver. During her absence, Sheldon had found a competent babysitter after a lengthy interviewing process. At this point, he wasn't even sure Penny would be interested in babysitting for him anymore. She had been working on an indie film, which was a huge benefit to her acting career. Sheldon knew that it would definitely increase her chances of getting other roles. In a few months, she might even be too busy to spend time with him at all. It was good to know that while she was gone, he had learned to strengthen his ties to his friends and family. Still, he was determined to do everything in his power to draw her back into his life again, even if only as a friend. So he invited her over for dinner shortly after she got back. Without the least compunction, he texted that Caleb had changed in the months that she'd been away and had started speaking short sentences. He wasn't above using his son to lure her back.

Penny showed up on time, carrying a pack of Yoo-hoo drink boxes. She laughed deprecatingly as she handed them to him. "If you were anyone else, I would have brought a bottle of wine, but I know this is your favorite drink, so... here you go."

He accepted them from her as she cried out in delight. Caleb had heard her voice and came running. She held out her arms and cooed, "Hey, sweetie." He stopped short when he saw her and then ran back to his room.

"He doesn't remember me, does he?" she asked with a stricken look.

"It's hard to say for certain, but if you visit again, I'm sure he'll soon become accustomed to your presence," he answered. She followed the little boy to his bedroom, where she sat on the floor and then pretended to play with his trains. It wasn't long before he edged closer and began playing with her. Sheldon stood in the doorway and silently watched them. To be honest, he was mostly just looking at Penny. It seemed almost miraculous to have her back in his apartment and to see her smile as she interacted with Caleb. He determined that he would proceed with caution, that he would do nothing to make her uncomfortable.

Their dinner - the usual takeout - arrived, and they ate sitting on the leather couch just like always. Sheldon asked her about her movie, and she was happy to talk for almost an hour, sharing anecdotes about the shoot. He listened attentively, hungry for details of those months he had missed. She asked him about his summer as well, and he told her about his visit with his family. His failed experiment was mentioned only as an afterthought.

"I loved that picture you posted of Caleb and your Meemaw," she said. "It was just the sweetest thing. I missed both of you while I was away."

"We missed you as well," he replied cautiously. "Does this mean we're friends again?"

Her smile faded. "We never stopped being friends. Things just got complicated."

He indicated their takeout containers with a gesture. "Perhaps we can start simply. Join me for dinner again soon. I'm free most weeknights, as you know." He smiled wryly. "I even found someone whom I trust to watch Caleb for a few hours. Maybe we can go out to dinner, just the two of us."

"I'll think about it," she answered cautiously.

* * *

After saying good night to Sheldon and Caleb, Penny let herself into her apartment with a sigh. She closed her door and leaned against it, for once too heart-heavy to even feel like getting a glass of wine. For her, nothing had changed. She still felt that sharp pang of loss every time she looked at Sheldon. When she had first arrived at Sheldon's apartment, Caleb hadn't even recognized her. It reminded her of Bernie's prediction: that in a few years, they would move on and Caleb wouldn't even remember who she was. Yet in a just a short time, he had warmed up to her again and was now calling her "Benny", which she thought was adorable. Was it possible that there could be a second chance for her with Sheldon too?

When she had first moved into the building, she had felt some slight attraction for Leonard. After all, he was smart, nice, and had a very obvious crush on her. But apart from a few kisses after her Halloween party when she had been both drunk and miserable, she decided she didn't want to date him. They were friends, and that was the way she liked it. She didn't want to live across the hall from an ex-boyfriend. If she dated Sheldon, it could be so much worse. Since he had never had a girlfriend (or even a date) before, she had a strong suspicion that he would never forgive her if she broke his heart. But she had tried for months to get over her feelings for him with no success. Even pouring all her spare time and energy into acting, while great for her career, hadn't helped her stop thinking about him.

There was another alternative: one that was almost too nerve-wracking to contemplate, yet she was considering it. With every other guy she had dated, she had gone out with him while having one eye on the door. She liked to have fun, but the idea of commitment scared her. The situation with Sheldon was completely different. She couldn't treat him that way. In fact, the only way she could see a relationship with him working was if she assumed it was for the long haul. She would have to choose to be serious about him, to tell herself that she wasn't going to walk away if things got difficult. That thought filled her with panic. She couldn't make a decision like that quickly or easily, but she had already spent months trying everything she could to stop having feelings for him. If she could still feel so strongly for him after so much time with no indication that he felt the same way, then maybe she really did love him enough to make that kind of commitment.

* * *

Sheldon asked her out to dinner a few days later. His plans were nothing fancy: eating out at his favorite Chinese place instead of ordering takeout, followed by some sci-fi movie he wanted to see. Penny was relieved that he had kept it simple. She had decided to talk to him about the way she felt, and any deviation from the norm would just make her more nervous. Upon realizing this was the direction her thoughts were going, she shook her head and said to herself, "Now you're even starting to sound like him."

Penny even found herself watching the time so she could go knock on his door exactly at six o'clock. When she did go over, she was greeted by a younger woman whose long dark hair was swept up into a ponytail.

"Hi, you must be Penny! Come on in."

"Hi, and you are…?"

"Dana... I'm one of Dr. Cooper's grad students. He says I'm very organized. I've been babysitting for him for a couple of months. Isn't his son just the cutest thing?"

This was all uttered without a single pause for breath, and Penny fought back a smile at the younger woman's enthusiasm. As she walked into the living room, Caleb barreled into her legs with a glad cry of "Benny!"

"Oh, are you Benny, because I thought he was talking about one of his little friends from daycare-" Dana broke off in the middle of her monologue as she saw Sheldon emerge from the back hallway. She ran to the kitchen counter and picked up a folder, which she quickly presented to him. "Here's the complete schedule of my evening with Caleb, Dr. Cooper. I've mapped out six different educational goals..."

Without even looking at Dana, Sheldon passing the folder back to her unopened. "I'm sure it's acceptable," he answered. From the shocked expression on her face, Penny guessed that wasn't something that happened very often.

"Good evening, Penny," he said, looking down at her as she knelt on the floor next to Caleb.

"Hey," she answered a little awkwardly. Caleb ran off and immediately returned, clutching a red vinyl ball sized for his hands. "I gotta ball, Benny!" he shouted.

"Great job, Caleb! Look at your red ball! Can you throw the ball?" she said with a big smile. Although it had been a while since she had gone to Caleb's speech therapy sessions, she hadn't forgotten what she had learned there. She spoke slowly and clearly, repeating words to help encourage his language development.

"Ball!" Caleb agreed with a big grin, holding it up. As the little boy began enthusiastically chucking his toy and then running to catch it, Penny turned back to Sheldon with a smile. "He's made so much progress. I can't believe he's speaking in sentences already." With a quick glance at the babysitter, she added, "If Dana takes over, do you think we can sneak out?"

"That's not what's on the schedule..." Dana began.

"Penny is exceptionally intuitive. If she believes this will be more effective than our usual leave-taking ritual, then I am willing to try it."

Dana opened her mouth, closed it, and finally nodded, looking flabbergasted. "All right, Dr. Cooper, whatever you say. Hey Caleb, show me how far you can throw that ball!"

He was so absorbed in his play that Penny and Sheldon were able to sneak out without Caleb's noticing that they had left.


	18. Chapter 18

Over dinner, they spent time catching up on all the details of their lives they had missed while they were apart. Penny told more stories about the weeks she had spent filming in Vancouver. She had loved finally having an acting role that she was proud of, but she had also been working long days where the cast and crew were often up into the wee hours of the morning. In return, Sheldon showed Penny a picture that no one else but his mother had seen: a photo of Caleb next to his father's grave.

Sheldon said, "I know my dad is gone, and he doesn't have any way of knowing I have a son, but somehow it gave me some sense of closure. He did a lot of things that I swore I would never do if I ever had a child of my own. Now that I am a father, I felt the need to remind myself of both the good things and the bad. I think he tried," he said quietly. "But somewhere along the way, he just gave up and sent me off to boarding school. I guess we have more in common than I thought. I tried to convince the foster parents to adopt Caleb."

Penny hadn't known about that, but remembering how he had tried to run away from his responsibilities, she wasn't surprised. After a moment's thought, she said, "There's a lot of differences between you and your dad. He'd already been a father before you were born, so he should have had parenting experience. Also, he was married and had a wife who supported him. In fact, I bet your mom did most of the work when it came to raising you. And I'm sure he had some say about having kids. You didn't get any of that… but you're still here, and you're still trying. I think you don't give yourself enough credit. You're a great dad," she said, squeezing his hand briefly.

He nodded and changed the subject. Penny wasn't offended; she knew that he rarely talked about his childhood. Whenever he did, he usually revealed something horrible and traumatic, so she understood why he hated talking about his past. She imagined that his eidetic memory made it even worse. Other people's memories faded with time; Sheldon was doomed to remember them in vivid, crystal-clear detail. She wondered how she would have turned out if she also suffered that inability to let go of her past.

After dinner, they had planned to leave Penny's car parked behind the restaurant and walk to the movie theater, since it was just a few blocks away. As they drew close to the movie theater, she began to feel more nervous. Her idea for this evening had been to lay it all out for Sheldon, to tell him clearly how she felt instead of jumping to conclusions based on the way he acted. She knew that sitting in the Chinese restaurant hadn't been the right time or place, but she couldn't stand the idea of sitting through a two-hour movie before talking to him.

She stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, and he regarded her with a puzzled frown. "I'm not really in the mood for a movie tonight. Could we just skip it and go for a walk instead?" she asked. Her heart was pounding. For better or worse, she had to get her confession over with.

His frown deepened. "I've been looking forward to seeing this movie. I thought you would enjoy it too."

"Really? You honestly thought I wanted to see a sci-fi movie?"

His frown shifted into a look of perplexity. "When you were in the habit of frequently joining me for dinner, we would often watch Star Trek, Doctor Who or some other sci-fi show. So yes, I did believe you had come to appreciate that genre."

She smiled ruefully at him, wishing she could make him understand. "I liked the company. I liked hanging out with you and Caleb."

"You were the one who altered that dynamic, not me," he said unhappily.

"I know, and that's what I wanted to talk to you about."

His face took on that deer-in-the-headlights look. "No," he said abruptly. He turned and began walking rapidly down the sidewalk, away from her.

After a moment's shock where she stood blinking in stunned dismay, she ran to catch up with him. "Sheldon, wait! Where are you going?" Reaching him, she grabbed his arm and forced him to a halt. He wouldn't meet her eyes. "Come on, I thought we were friends. Can't you just hear me out?"

"Not at the expense of said friendship. You just came back into my life… _our_ lives," he added, and she knew he was referring to Caleb. "I won't allow anything to jeopardize that again."

She closed her eyes, hearing what he didn't want to say aloud: she had hurt him. "I promise I'm not going anywhere," she said softly. Taking a step closer, she said, "I care about you so much. Can I please give you a hug?" After a pause, he nodded, and she put her arms around him. She didn't know why he had agreed, but she couldn't help but feed her addiction to be close to him one more time.

She spotted a park bench nearby, and she pulled him toward it and got him to sit next to her by the simple expediency of refusing to let go of his arm. "Would it help if I told you a lot of what happened between us was because I was afraid I would lose the two of you?"

His head came up, and he frowned at her again. "That makes absolutely no sense. I have told you many times how essential you are to both myself and Caleb."

She shook her head. "You don't need me. I've been telling you that for months. You're an amazing dad. Seeing how hard you've worked to do what's right for your son, seeing you make huge sacrifices for him… I really admired what you were doing. I admired the man you were becoming. I already liked you a lot, even before Caleb, so maybe it was only natural that I developed a crush on you."

His eyes bugged out. "You had... romantic feelings for me?"

She squeezed her hands tightly together in her lap. "Yup. That was why I kissed you, and when you just stood there, I kind of… freaked out. I convinced myself that you wouldn't ever want a girlfriend, that you couldn't ever like me back, and Bernadette agreed. So I tried to get over you. That was the night I brought that guy home from the club, but I realized it was no good. I didn't want it to work with him because I was still hung up on you."

"Yes, I was very upset when you turned to some mannerless boor so soon after you had attempted to initiate some sort of paradigm shift with me," he said. "Your actions convinced me that you had merely acted on an impulse which you regretted almost immediately."

"I know. Looking back, I realize I didn't handle that very well, but I'm trying to fix it now. You see, I tried avoiding you. I tried focusing on my career, but it still didn't change how I felt."

"It didn't?" he asked faintly.

She shook her head. "It's not just a crush." She took a deep breath. "I think… I'm in love with you. That's what I wanted to tell you. Maybe somewhere in that genius mind of yours, there's room for a girlfriend; maybe not. Either way, I just needed to let you know."

He sat quietly as the seconds ticked by and Penny waited anxiously for him to respond. "In light of what you just told me, I suppose my initial reaction was unwarranted."

When he didn't elaborate, she asked, "So what does that mean? Are you upset or…?" His expression had never been so unreadable to her before. Maybe it was because she was so nervous. It wasn't her style to talk about her feelings, even less to do so with no indication if the guy liked her back. But for Sheldon, she was willing to risk getting her heart broken.

"That night that you kissed me, I didn't know what to do," he said. "I was taken aback. That was my first kiss from a woman who was not a relative."

She grinned at that comment. Classic Sheldon - so clueless he had no idea how his blunt honesty would be perceived by others… not that he usually cared even if he had known. But now that she was in love with him, she found his obliviousness rather adorable.

"So I went to Leonard and asked him for advice…" he went on.

At any other time, she might be freaking out that his first impulse had been to talk to Leonard, but right now, all she cared about was the result of that conversation. "What did he tell you?" she asked impatiently.

"He said you wanted me to return the gesture, and I said that I had researched various techniques of osculation-" He was talking faster now, and eyeing her nervously. "-but that I was still uncertain. He said I should just tell you, and that was what I was going to do, until you brought that wretched lounge lizard home with you," he added sourly.

"Sweetie, what did you want to tell me?" she asked, resisting the urge to try to shake the answer out of him.

"That I had feelings for you," he said slowly. "That I wanted you to kiss me again."

Now she was the one who was dumbstruck. Sheldon liked her? He actually wanted her to kiss him? It was simultaneously the most exciting and terrifying moment of her life. Only one question mattered: "Do you still feel that way?" she asked in a whisper.

He nodded jerkily. The poor guy looked terrified, but she knew it wasn't because he was scared of her, but rather of the entirely new situation of telling a girl he liked her. She leaned forward, glad they were seated so they were closer in height, and pressed her lips against his. Despite her temptation to make it into something more intense, she kept the kiss chaste and sweet. When she pulled away, he looked stunned. He reached blindly for her hand and held tight.

"Sweetie, are you okay?" she asked.

After almost a minute had passed, he looked at her. "I… I find myself extremely conflicted," he said. "I still feel some reticence about physical contact, but I am also fighting an intense desire to repeat the experience, and it scares me."

"Why does it scare you?"

"Because I think it would end in my wanting nothing less than all of you. I don't do things by halves. I already can't imagine my life without you in it. I'm afraid I might pursue you with the same single-minded intensity with which I seek the mysteries of the universe."

"And you think I'd have a problem with that?" Penny asked.

"Don't you?" He looked adorably confused.

"I knew that if I was going to tell you how I felt that it would be different from anything I'd ever done before. I used to jump right into the physical stuff because that was easiest; I was just looking to have fun. I didn't want to think about the future because I was afraid of commitment. But with you, I already decided I'd have to be in it for the long-term because I couldn't give up on our friendship. So I told myself this was it. That if we got together, I would make it work no matter how hard it got, as long as you loved me too. I know it's too soon for you-"

"I want you to be a part of my life forever," he said quickly. "If that is too much for you, you should let me know now."

Was she scared by that? She wouldn't be Penny if the fact that they were both thinking about their future together didn't unnerve her at least a little. But the prospect of a life without him was infinitely worse. So she smiled and kissed him again. This time, he kissed her back after only a slight hesitation.

"Are we going to be one of those weird couples that goes around telling everyone we knew we were meant to be together from our first date?" she teased.

"I think it goes back much further than that," he answered seriously. "On the first day Leonard and I met you, you came into our apartment and complimented my work… and I smiled at you. I remember feeling this warm glow inside my chest, even though I didn't know what it was. That same day, Leonard call dibs on you in my presence, although I had never shown the slightest interest in any female before. I think he too sensed an unusual bond between us, which made him feel threatened."

She quickly shoved aside the questions that arose in her mind about Leonard trying to claim her like a favorite toy and focused on what was important. "You think you had feelings for me from the first day we met?" she asked softly.

"It's a distinct possibility," he answered.

"I don't even know what to say to that," she admitted. "I know there were lots of times I thought you didn't like me very much."

"Learning to value your unique abilities has definitely been a work in progress. It was only after I found out I had a son that I began to fully appreciate you. When I tried to run away and leave Caleb in your care, I never even considered how that might affect you. You were no more prepared to care for a child than I was, and yet you didn't begrudge my actions."

"I definitely yelled at you," she said with a grin. "But then I realized it wasn't doing any good… just the opposite. You were a lot like Caleb, and knowing that helped me to not be so mad at you. You just needed someone to encourage you to do the right thing."

He reached over and took her hand. "I am extremely fortunate to have you in my life." He hesitated. "I would like to ask you something. It doesn't adequately reflect the breadth or the seriousness of my feelings for you, but… will you be my girlfriend?"

She laughed. "Feels like we're putting the cart before the horse, doesn't it?"

He frowned. "I'm not sure what that means in this context."

"It means yes, my silly whackadoodle," she answered. "Now I think you should kiss me again."

He was still getting the hang of this kissing stuff, but he was willing to oblige, and as Leonard had predicted, Penny was happy to teach him.

They ended up back at Penny's apartment, where Sheldon discovered her loveseat was not conducive to cuddling and told her so in the strictest of terms. Penny blushed and said that in the past, most of her "cuddling" had taken place in her bed.

"I'm not ready for that," he said anxiously.

"I know, sweetheart," she replied. "For now, I'm just happy being next to you." She leaned up against his side with her hand in the crook of his elbow, and she had never felt so content.

Sheldon stayed eighteen minutes past his ten o'clock bedtime. Had it not been for the increasingly frequent – and frantic - texts from Caleb's babysitter Dana, he might have stayed far longer. When he finally said goodnight to Penny at the door of her apartment, she stood there patiently, smiling at him, until he could no longer resist the desire to kiss her once more. It was addictive: every time they touched, he craved her more. He was beginning to see how ridiculous his previous stance on dating had been. His claims of being too evolved to concern himself with romantic pursuits were nothing more than bluster. Once he had realized he had feelings for Penny, he had fallen hard and fast. His plans for the future were still nebulous, but he was certain he would soon tire of having to say goodnight to Penny and leave her at her doorstep.


	19. Chapter 19

Sheldon didn't sleep much that night. His mind was racing, and he spent hours trying to calculate the most likely probabilities for the outcome of their relationship. Penny had already been talking about commitment; he knew he never wanted to lose her. Perhaps he should call his Meemaw up tomorrow and ask her about the Cooper family ring she had been holding for him all these years. Meemaw had always sworn that she would never hand the ring over to his brother George (whom she called "that oaf"), and she used to tell him that when he met the right woman, he would know it instantly. It may have taken him a few years to realize that Penny was the one, but now that he did, he wanted to propose right away. He wanted the ring on her finger so everyone could see she was taken. He wanted one on his left hand as well so everyone could see his heart belonged to her. He turned hot and cold at the thought of someday having children together. She deserved that, he thought: a child of her own, a home where she could feel secure, and a husband who loved her. He wanted all those things for her, and he wanted to be the man to give them to her. Just thinking of himself a man filled him with pride. Only months ago, he had been an adult, but he had no idea what it meant to take responsibility for his life. Penny had taught him that. She had helped him grow from a self-centered man-child into a man who was trying his hardest to do what was right.

As the faint light of dawn crept into his room, he realized that his only answer to the question was to give Penny everything… every part of him. He was a little scared at that prospect, but much more fearful of what might happen if he failed to adequately communicate to her how much he loved her.

* * *

It was Raj's turn to give Sheldon and Caleb a ride that morning. Raj and Leonard had settled into a routine of giving Sheldon and his son a ride on alternate weeks. Before they had left for the Arctic, Sheldon had given them a precisely calculated amount for gas money each week. After taking the bus to and from the day care and Caltech for almost three months, Sheldon had begun to add a "thank you" as well. In the past, he had seen common courtesies as a waste of time or a sign of weakness, but he had come to see how much his friends did for him.

Raj was his usual chatty self, launching into the latest campus gossip. This time the rumors were about Leonard. For months, he had been secretly dating a girl from one of his undergrad classes. After his three-month absence, she had been so happy to have him back that they had been less than discreet about their relationship.

"So Leslie walked in on them going at it in the laser lab… you know, having sex," Raj added, as if he needed to spell it out for Sheldon. "If Mandy hadn't been a student, Leslie probably would've just said something sarcastic and walked out. But now she's filed a formal complaint with the disciplinary board."

"As well she should; I use that lab too!" Sheldon snapped. Then he sighed. "Of course, Leonard is my best friend. I don't truly want him to get into trouble. I just wished he had used more discretion."

"Yeah. At the very least, she shouldn't have signed up to take another one of his classes this semester if they were involved," Raj added. "What they _do_ have going for them is that the administration doesn't want this getting out. It'll probably blow over once Mandy transfers to another professor's class."

Sheldon didn't respond, so after a long pause, Raj asked, "Anything new with you?"

Sheldon flinched, and then a nervous tic began twitching under his eye as he wondered if he could condone a lie of omission about his new relationship.

"What's going on, dude?" Raj asked as he glanced over at Sheldon, his face alight with curiosity.

Sheldon sighed heavily. Apparently, this was not a secret he was capable of keeping. Besides, he had a lot of questions, and he needed advice. "Last night, Penny and I changed our relationship paradigm," Sheldon said reluctantly.

From the dramatic gasp from Raj, Sheldon assumed that at some point over the last few months, Leonard had told the rest of their friends about his ups and downs with Penny.

"What exactly does that mean?" Raj demanded.

"She told me that she has been in love with me for months, and that she knew if we were to enter into a relationship that she would need to change the way she approached dating. After hearing her reasons, I asked her to be my girlfriend."

Raj pulled into a parking space in front of the daycare and turned to stare at Sheldon. "You're dating Penny? _You_ are going out with _her_?" He shook his head in disbelief. "Leonard told us that she kissed you once, but I thought she must've been drunk."

"Penny has changed in the last several months, including the frequency with which she drinks to intoxication," Sheldon replied.

Raj shook his head. "Leonard's not going to like this," he predicted.

By the time they got to Caltech, Sheldon was visibly agitated. He knew that Leonard had had a crush on Penny for years, even though he was now dating someone else. When he confessed that Penny had kissed him, Leonard had seemed supportive, but Sheldon was still nervous. He had no idea what he would do if Leonard forced him to choose between his best friend and his new girlfriend. He came to a halt just inside the doors to the applied sciences building.

Raj looked at him and then sighed. "You have to talk to him." When Sheldon didn't say anything, he added, "He's your best friend, and he deserves to hear it from you in person."

They found Leonard in his office, and Howard was there as well. Sheldon had even more difficulty telling the two of them about Penny than he did Raj, but eventually he managed to make himself clear after a barrage of verbal obfuscation. Fortunately, Leonard was preoccupied with his own problems. He gave Sheldon a confused and wistful glance before wishing him luck, and then immediately launched into the saga of his own troubles. Apparently, under the impression that it would help their cause, Mandy had told one of the deans that she and Leonard were "very serious" about their relationship. The dean had then come to Leonard and strongly implied that the disciplinary board would go easier on them both if they got engaged. Leonard was stressing out. He liked Mandy, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to marry her.

"So what's the big deal?" Howard asked with a shrug. "You go to a pawn shop and pick up some cheap ring for her to wear, and everybody's happy."

"But what if she thinks I'm serious?" Leonard wailed.

"I don't see why you would consider that a problem," Sheldon commented. "Mandy seems to personify many of the traits which you find most desirable in a potential mate, and an engagement period would give both of you time to determine whether or not you were wished to spend the rest of your lives together."

"Oh sure, listen to him. Dating one day, and he's already a relationship expert," Raj said mockingly.

"As a matter of fact, I am. Penny and I have already discussed our future together, and she says she is committed to a long-term relationship with me. I've been thinking about the optimal length of time that we should date before we get engaged. From my perspective, the sooner we substantiate our relationship, the better. Of course, marriage is the ideal, being the most permanent state."

All three men were staring in shock and incredulity at him.

"Uh… that's a bazinga, right?" Leonard asked weakly.

"Of course not. I'm completely serious," Sheldon said calmly. "When the opportunity for the NSF grant came up, I took it, even though I couldn't participate in the way I had hoped. But there was no way I was turning it down, because it was a step towards my lifelong dream of winning the Nobel Prize for physics. My relationship with Penny bears some similarities. I almost lost her once, because I wasn't prepared to recognize the opportunity which presented itself. But you can rest assured that I will do whatever it takes to secure her presence in my life."

"Are you talking about sex?" Howard blurted out.

Sheldon looked slightly uncomfortable at the question, but he replied, "Yes, among other things. Just like the Nobel, Penny is worth whatever sacrifice is necessary." He paused, and then added, "But I'm not saying that coitus with someone for whom I care deeply would necessarily be unpleasant."

"Wow. Who knew the great Sheldon Cooper would fall so hard and fast?" Raj murmured.

"Raj, when I have a feeling, I know it," Sheldon said sternly. "I love Penny. I have never felt the slightest attraction toward any other woman, nor do I wish to. She is the only one for me."

"But you have nothing in common," Leonard protested. "She's messy and loud. She works as a waitress and never even graduated from community college. She likes dancing and drinking, reality TV shows and shopping. You hate all those things. How do you think you could ever put up with her?"

Sheldon's face clouded over. "First of all, you should know that as my potential life partner, my loyalty now lies with Penny over you, so I will not allow you to disparage her in any way. Yes, it is true that if I had ever imagined a future mate, I would have supposed I would be happiest with someone who was very similar to me." He paused. "And I would have been wrong. Penny is kind, generous, brave and sympathetic. These are all qualities I lack, to such an extent that a few months ago, I would have considered them completely irrelevant. I've been forced, by the addition of Caleb into my life, to attempt to learn these traits. I couldn't have done so without her. I wouldn't be the man I am today without her. In fact, I would still be a immature, self-absorbed fool who was unable to recognize the best thing that ever happened to me. And I would continue to be a fool if I don't do whatever I can to ensure her continuing presence in my life."

Sheldon ended his impromptu speech, taken aback at how the words had just burst forth. He wasn't normally impassioned or spontaneous, but he believed what he said before. Penny was every bit as important to him as the Nobel Prize, so perhaps some passion or spontaneity was called for. His friends were still gaping at him in stunned disbelief, and he squirmed under their incredulous gazes. "Excuse me, gentlemen, I have work to do," he said with as much dignity as he could muster and strode out.

There were several seconds of silence after he left.

Finally, Howard breathed, "What the frak…"

"Did gravity just stop working? Because I feel like my whole world just got upended," Leonard muttered.

"Dude, does anyone else find the prospect of Sheldon in love just a little bit scary?" Raj whispered.


	20. Chapter 20

Penny walked into Sheldon's apartment. As usual, she was greeted by shrieks of excitement from Caleb, who ran to her. She swung him around with a grin. "Who's my favorite boy?" she asked. Sheldon came up to greet her, lips quirked up in the barest hint of a smile, and she leaned over and kissed him. "Actually, it's your daddy, but I won't tell if you don't," she whispered to Caleb. She tickled the little boy until he squirmed so much he almost wrenched himself out of her arms. Laughing, she set him down and dug something out of her purse.

"Look what I've got for you," she said, waggling a DVD in front of Caleb.

"Thomas!" he shouted happily. He grabbed the case out of her hands, ran to the entertainment center and tried to shove the case in the DVD player.

Sheldon eeped in dismay and cried,"Caleb, stop!" He ran to rescue his DVD player before his son could do any permanent damage. Quickly, he unwrapped the case and popped in the disc. Once Caleb was happily settled on the floor, humming along to the theme song, he turned to Penny with a sigh. "He always manages to astonish me at what he picks up," he said ruefully.

She wasn't sure if he was referring to his son's knowledge of how the DVD player worked or the fact that he already knew the tune to the popular children's show. "Like father, like son," she smiled at him. She hooked a finger under the collar of his double-layered shirts and tugged him close. "Now we get a few minutes to ourselves." She wrapped her arms around his neck and melted into his kiss. Was it just her imagination, or were his hands more sure and his touch more possessive as he held her?

Finally, he drew back. "Our food is getting cold," he said unhappily.

She nodded. For him to take even those few moments to focus on her instead of immediately worrying about their dinner was a big step for him. She gave him one more brief peck before murmuring, "Okay," and letting him go. He led her to the living room, where their takeout was neatly arranged on the coffee table. Glancing at the television screen, he said, "I suppose we will be entertained by the antics of animated locomotives during our meal." Looking back at her, he added, "It was considerate of you to bring him a gift, especially given your limited income."

Penny groaned and then chuckled. "If you just left out the part about my limited income, that would have almost sounded like a compliment."

He nodded thoughtfully. "I will attempt to implement your suggestions next time."

She grinned, thinking he was so cute. He had no idea how to be a good boyfriend, but he approached it with the same serious intensity he devoted to parenthood.

"Speaking of my limited income, I had a really great audition this morning. It's for a role on one of those crime dramas. I'm hoping that if I can keep getting parts like this, I might be able to quit my job at the Cheesecake Factory soon."

"Do you mean you would no longer be required to work evenings and weekends?" he asked hopefully.

She shrugged. "Actors work until the director's happy with the take, but I think I'd be able to spend more time with the two of you."

"I'd like that," he said with one of his shy smiles. He set down his empty takeout container, and his face grew serious. "In fact, there's something I'd like to discuss with you. I know we've only been dating for-" Sheldon consulted his watch. "Approximately four days and twenty-two hours, but I would like to establish a timetable for our relationship. I've consulted various sources on this topic, but the results are inconclusive at best. How long do you expect we will date before getting engaged? Is a longer or a shorter engagement preferable? I would think shorter since we've already dealt with some of the preliminaries. And about moving in together-" He looked a little nervous, but forged on. "I think it best to wait until after we're married, but I understand your opinion must perforce carry some weight as well."

An icy panic gripped her. Suddenly his seriousness wasn't so cute. "Wait, sweetie… engaged? Marriage? Holy crap on a cracker, are you serious? I can't believe you're talking about this so soon," Penny stammered.

Sheldon had angled his body toward her as he spoke, but now he turned away and placed his hands on his knees. "You said you were 'in it for the long term' and mentioned commitment. What else could you possibly mean?"

Penny laid a hand on his arm and felt his muscles tighten at her touch. "Sweetie, I wasn't lying to you, but this is just way too fast for me. Can't we just enjoy being together without any kind of timeline?"

"No," he snapped, but then he glanced over at her. She could clearly see the pained look on his face, and all her frustration with him faded.

She sighed. "Okay, I get that you like to have every detail of your life planned. But talking about a future together is a lot different than actually getting engaged. We're not ready for that. Neither of us are, no matter what you might think. If we don't give ourselves time to really get to know each other, we could ruin what we have together. I know you don't want that, right?"

He turned back toward her slowly. "If we were engaged, I would have your word that you wouldn't leave me. The outcome of dating is unpredictable; the status of our relationship is precarious. I have changed so many aspects of my life in order to include you in it, and without even asking you to sign any sort of contract. Surely you can understand why I wish some assurance of your constancy."

"Sweetie, I told you I loved you. Maybe that's not a big deal to you, but it is to me. You don't know much about my past when it comes to dating, and maybe that's a good thing. But I only told one guy I loved him first. I was fifteen, and two days later, I found out he cheated on me with another girl. I cried for weeks, and then after that, I swore I would never let myself get hurt like that again. The last guy I thought I loved was Kurt, and you'd better believe I made sure he said it first. Saying it to you first was a big risk for me, but I thought you were worth it."

Sheldon nodded slowly. "I suppose that is acceptable for now."

Penny looked at him expectantly, and when nothing more was forthcoming, sighed and gathered up their takeout containers. Caleb looked over at the sound, but was quickly drawn back to his video.

"Okay, well, I'd better go. It's getting late," she said, not bothering to hide her irritation.

He looked confused. Checking his watch, he said, "It's not even seven o'clock. Why are you leaving?"

She dumped the containers in the trash and faced him with her arms crossed over her chest. "I just told you what a big deal it was for me to tell you I loved you. In fact, that's the second time I've said it, and all you can say is it's _acceptable_?" She shook her head. "It's okay if you don't know how you feel. I wasn't expecting you to say it back. But don't act like you're doing me some big favor by accepting that I have feelings for you. You're acting like a jerk, so I'm just going to go home."

Sheldon stared at her, a blank look on his face. She marched across the room and was almost to the door when he said, "But I do love you."

She turned back to him, and her face was contorted with a mixture of anger and pain. "No. You don't get to just throw those words out there and expect it to magically make everything okay. And of all people, you're the last person I thought would lie to me."

He crossed the room in swift strides and seized her hand. "I'm not lying," he said fiercely. "You know I'm incapable of lying. See? I don't love you," he said as muscles twitched wildly under his eye.

"Sheldon…" she protested.

"Do you really think I would be speaking of marriage if I wasn't certain that I loved you?" he asked.

"I don't know," she whispered.

"The first time I felt something for you that was more than strictly friendship was on the day that I took full custody of Caleb. In the evening, you were helping me give him a bath, although in fact, you were doing most of the work. It was such a mess; there was water and soap suds everywhere. Your clothes were soaked. You even had soap suds in your hair, right here." He reached out and touched the golden strands gently. "You looked up at me, and you were laughing, and you said, 'Don't worry; I'm sure it gets easier.' For a moment, nothing else mattered. All I could think was that I wanted you to smile at me that way again. I fell in love with you so gradually that even I had difficulty determining exactly when I knew for sure. But I thought you would always be a part of my life, so I didn't want to disturb the status quo. Then you kissed me. It changed everything between us, and I thought I had missed my only opportunity to be with you. When you gave me a second chance, I knew then that I loved you, but I was… I was afraid of losing you. You admitted that commitment was a paradigm shift for you, so I didn't want to do anything that might cause more tension between us." He paused. " **I** made a mistake, and… I'm sorry I hurt you."

Her face softened and with a little cry, she threw herself into his arms. "Now I know you must love me if you just apologized. I'll sign any damn contract you want if it makes you as happy as you've just made me."

He bent over her, returning her kisses with more passion than he ever had before. Penny clung to him with a moan of appreciation. All of a sudden, he let go of her.

"Caleb," he cried.

"Wha-" Penny began, thrown by the abrupt shift in Sheldon's focus. Alarmed, she glanced over toward the living room, and then she started to laugh. Apparently, Caleb had finally gotten hungry and had ripped open his takeout container. He was standing next to the coffee table, stuffing food in his mouth two-fisted.

She caught Sheldon's arm as he started toward his son. With one hand, she turned his face back toward her. "Honey, relax; he's fine."

"But he's getting orange chicken everywhere!" he cried.

She leveled a stern look at him. "He's perfectly safe and happy. In fact, it's pretty smart of him to get his own dinner. You just have to decide whether you'd rather go clean up after your son or let your girlfriend show you how happy you've made her."

Sheldon's brow creased, and his gaze darted back and forth between her and Caleb for longer than she would have liked. But finally, he reached for her again.


	21. Chapter 21

Sheldon frowned at the screen of his laptop. He erased the last phrase he had written, huffing in frustration. He had never had such difficulty writing a contract before. When Penny had promised him she would sign whatever agreement he made, initially he was elated. The problem was that when he looked at his previous roommate agreement as a template, everything in it was either irrelevant or insufficient. The official apartment flag? It was still stuck to the side of his fridge, but he was certain that Penny would never give him reason to turn it upside down as a sign of distress. In fact, she diffused most of his panic whenever he felt overwhelmed. As for a zombie apocalypse or mime invasion? He had no doubt that she was fully capable of protecting not only herself, but everyone she cared about, and would do so to her last breath. He had considered a including a prohibition against whistling, but that minor clause was hardly worth creating an entire contract. Besides, he had a feeling that Penny would just deal with most minor disagreements they had by kissing him until he could barely remember what they had been arguing about. It was a sneaky, unfair way of dealing with conflict, particularly because it was so effective.

Naturally, his chief concern was his son, but in this, as in every other area he could think of, he was sure Penny was capable of surpassing any expectations he might put down on paper. The truth was that he felt any requirements he might ask of her would be more restrictive than beneficial. Several months ago, he had attempted to abandon Caleb to her care. While it was a cowardly thing to do, he knew he never would have attempted it if he didn't have complete confidence in her. So that was the crux of the matter: in every area that he could think of, a contractual relationship agreement would only be detrimental. With a sigh, he closed his laptop. He might get back to the agreement some other time, but he doubted it.

The next evening after dinner, Penny cautiously asked about the contract. "It's not that I want to slog through two hundred pages of legalese," she said with a laugh. "But I know how much you like drawing up contracts and stamping them with your little stamp."

"Notarizing them, Penny. I am an official notary public in the state of California. However, I haven't made much progress in writing a contract. I encountered an unusual dilemma."

"You had a problem writing up a contract? That doesn't sound like you."

"Unlikely as it sounds, it's true. In every circumstance I could imagine, I believe you would surpass any requirement I might have of you, making a contract completely irrelevant."

"Ooh, careful, Dr. Cooper. That sounds like another compliment. If you don't watch out, you're gonna make that a habit," she said. He was certain from her smile that she was teasing him, but it didn't matter as she leaned in and kissed him. His palms began to sweat as their embrace became more passionate. She had no problems sliding her hands up under the hem of his shirts. Feeling her caress against his bare skin caused unfamiliar desires to rise up within him. He wanted to touch her the same way, and yet it must be admitted he was scared to do so. He felt himself balanced on the edge of a precipice, afraid of the fall and knowing he wouldn't be the same person who picked himself up at the bottom of the slope.

Reluctantly, he pulled away, and she let him go with a sound that was half pleased murmur and half disappointed sigh. After a moment, she put a hand in her pocket. "I asked about the contract because I have something I was going to give you, after I signed it. It's sort of for you, but it's really for me…" She winced. "I'm not explaining it very well. Here." She pulled her hand out of her pocket and deposited a silvery ring into his palm.

He examined it carefully. "It's a claddagh ring. Why are you giving it to me?"

Penny looked blank. "A what ring?"

"Claddagh, named for the village in Ireland in which this symbol of joined hands, heart and crown are said to originate. The traditional symbolism of the ring indicates the wearer's relationship status." He peered closely at her face, trying to decipher the expression on her face. "Are you telling me you wish to alter the status of our relationship?" He wasn't sure that was her intent, since she seemed ignorant of the ring's meaning.

"Uh, no… I mean, sort of." She plucked the ring from his hand and turned it around in her fingers. "When I was in high school, it was sort of a fad for couples that were serious about each other. We called them promise rings. I knew a lot of girls who considered it a pre-engagement ring." What she didn't mention was that she used to think it was a stupid idea. But there was a whole lot she was willing to do for her whackadoodle boyfriend. Wearing a ring on her left hand was part of it, a small step closer to the commitment he wanted.

He laughed at that, the breathy little sound that indicated he was amused. "Since an engagement is considered to be a statement of a couple's intention to wed, a promise ring is entirely redundant."

She closed her fist over the ring. "It was a silly idea. Forget I even brought it up."

He quickly covered her hands with his. "It's an excellent idea, given our current circumstances. I would very much like you to wear it." His gaze flicked uncertainly down to their clasped hands. "Shall I put it on you?"

"No, no, that's fine. No need for that," she said quickly. She slid the ring onto her fourth finger. "I guess that means I'm taken now."

"Thank you. This means a great deal to me," he said seriously.

"Good," she said with a grin as she planted a knee next to his hips, settling into his lap.

"What are you doing?" he asked nervously as her whole torso came into torturously close contact with his. He sucked in a breath sharply as she rubbed her body against his.

"Making out with my more-than-just-a-boyfriend," she answered.

He groaned as she wrapped herself around him, no longer able to deny that he was attracted to her on a very basic, primitive level. In fact, he didn't even see the point in trying. He loved her, and when he was ready, he was going to make love to her and hold her in his arms all through the night… and he was starting to like the idea.

* * *

"I just don't get it. I mean, I thought this was what she wanted," Leonard complained.

Penny tried not to roll her eyes. This was the first time in months all their friends had gotten together. Now that Caleb was a little older, they could trust him to play by himself for a few minutes at a time without getting into something he shouldn't. So she had persuaded Sheldon to have their friends over for pizza so they could hang out like they used to. Unfortunately, Leonard had been monopolizing the conversation for several minutes with his fake engagement woes.

"Maybe Mandy just wants to focus on getting her degree," Bernadette said. "Before I met Howie, I didn't think I had time for dating either." She reached out and laced her fingers through Howard's, and he grinned back at her. Penny thought the two of them made the most unlikely couple. Apart from their height, they seemed to have little in common, but apparently, they had bonded over the fact that they both had overbearing parents. Although she couldn't quite believe it, Bernie seemed crazy about Howard.

She glanced over at Sheldon, sitting in his favorite spot on the leather couch. He was focused on watching Caleb, who was playing on the floor, happily crashing two of his toy trains together.

"But I thought this was just a pretend engagement so you both wouldn't get expelled or something," Penny said in confusion.

"Don't be silly; Mandy might be expelled, but Leonard would be fired," Sheldon chimed in absently, still watching his son.

She rolled her eyes at him. "Seriously, Leonard, why are you getting all worked up?"

"Because we're dating," he whined. "She could at least act excited. She says she's not even going to tell her parents."

Penny leaned forward. "How could she possibly be happy about the fact that you bought a ring at a pawn shop and told her the engagement wasn't for real? If you actually care for her, then you have to make her think she's the most important person in the world to you. I mean, look at you - you didn't even bring her with you tonight. Make her feel like you would crawl over broken glass and hot lava for her, not just toss some ring at her in order to save your own ass."

Leonard frowned and shook his head. "I don't know how."

"If you're sure she's the one, then I think you need a do-over. Buy her a real ring at a jewelry store. Plan something romantic for the proposal and put some effort into it."

Leonard still looked unconvinced, but Penny no longer cared. "Hey, speaking of plans…" She jumped up and grabbed something from her purse. "Caleb's birthday is in less than two months, and we could use some help. I just found these at a pharmacy today, and I thought they were perfect." She flourished a pack of party invitations with cartoon trains. "See? Now all the parents from his therapy group won't have to guess what to get him."

"Ooh, a party with twenty screaming toddlers, that sounds fun," Bernie said waspishly.

Penny shot her an exasperated look.

"Caleb is not having a birthday party," Sheldon declared sternly.

Her face fell. "What do you mean? It's his _birthday_. We have to celebrate it."

"Birthdays are nothing more than a license for a group of children to torment one of their peers under the guise of fun," he said adamantly. "I'm not allowing that to happen to my son."

"We'd just invite the kids from speech therapy. He already knows them all and usually gets along with them," Penny objected.

"Oh, you don't want to go there with Sheldon. He hates birthdays," Leonard said.

Penny looked over at her boyfriend, ready to dig in her heels and insist on a party for Caleb. Then she noticed his tense posture and the way he wasn't making eye contact with anyone. She laced her fingers through his. "This isn't about Caleb, is it?" she asked gently. "You had a bad experience as a kid, and that's why you hate birthdays."

"Not just one birthday: _every_ birthday," he said. "I have a twin sister, remember? At every single birthday party I ever had, I was tormented by Missy and a cadre of friends just like her."

Her mouth twisted in sympathy, and she glanced around at their friends. She almost wished she hadn't prodded. Every time he revealed something about his past, all she heard were painful memories. It was no wonder he was always so tense and wary of people. Leaning in close, she whispered, "Do you remember what you told me about writing up a relationship contract?"

"Of course I do. I have an-"

"Eidetic memory. Yup, I know. But you said you trusted me more than any contract, right? So trust me now. I'll make sure Caleb has a great party, and I promise it won't be like when you were a kid."

He reached out and rubbed his thumb over the claddagh ring she wore. After a long pause, he nodded. "Okay… but we're not having it here," he added quickly.

"Wouldn't dream of it," she answered with a wry chuckle. "Okay, so the birthday party's back on," she said, raising her voice so everyone could hear her. "We'll probably have it at one of those kiddie play places, but you're all welcome to be there."

A stunned silence met her announcement. "What?" she asked innocently.

Howard was the first to recover from his surprise. "Just trying to get used to Sheldon 2.0," he answered, shaking his head.


	22. Chapter 22

Penny was leaning over Sheldon's shoulder as he sat in front of his desk, typing away at his laptop. She was fairly dancing with impatience. "So what do you think?" she asked. "Can I do it?"

"Your gross income has increased twenty-eight percent over the past three months," he answered. "Adjusted for inflation and a higher tax bracket-"

"Oh, come on, Sheldon, _please_ ," she begged. "I'm so sick of coming home smelling like cheesecake every night."

"It's not an unpleasant scent," he said. The corners of his mouth curled up so slightly that anyone who didn't know him as well as Penny did would never have realized he was teasing her.

She spun his office chair around and sat in his lap. "Don't make me beg," she said in a low voice that sent shivers down his spine.

"We're right in the middle of-" She cut off his protest in a way that he had almost come to anticipate. His hands gripped her hips as she threw a leg over his lap and straddled him. He made a low sound in his throat that was half moan, half whimper, as she ground against him. His hands slid up from her waist to her rib cage and stopped just short of the raised edge of her bra, which he could feel through the thin blouse she wore. She kissed the side of his neck, her teeth scraping gently along his carotid as her tongue traced intricate patterns on his skin. He shuddered, unable to fight the scintillating thrill that seemed to go straight from his brain to his groin. The sensation was overwhelming; it was too much, too intense. Fighting his conflicting instincts, he unwound her arms from his neck. She pouted, making even that childish gesture somehow alluring. Then she got off his lap and walked around the room, taking a deep breath and running her hands through her hair. He sat unmoving, watching her. Finally, she walked back to his desk and dragged another chair over so she could sit next to him. He turned back toward his desk, still struggling not to show his internal turmoil.

"Okay, let's finish looking at your spreadsheet," she said with a conspicuous lack of enthusiasm.

He stared at the screen. "As I was about to say before, I believe you could afford to quit waitressing now." He paused, and peered at her in confusion. "Would you really prefer to have coitus with me than find out if you're financially solvent enough to quit working at the Cheesecake Factory?"

She laughed briefly. "That's a joke, right? Honey, right now I think I would be happy working at that place for the rest of my life if you could just turn into a normal boyfriend."

He frowned. "I'm never going to meet anyone's definition of 'normal'. If that's what you want-"

"Come on, you know I love you," she said. "And that's why I want to be with you. I just wish you felt the same way."

A muscle in his jaw tightened. "I know you like being spontaneous and impulsive, but I do not. If I am to make a decision as significant as this, I can't make it on a whim."

"Will you ever make that decision at all?" she asked in a small voice.

He swiveled his chair toward her and took her hands in his. He touched the ring on her right hand. It was a habit that he had recently developed. Finally, he lifted his gaze to her face. "Yes. I promise."

* * *

Caleb's birthday party took place a few weeks later. Penny had chosen a toddler play place that was messy, noisy and chaotic… and his son loved it. The evidence was right in front of Sheldon's eyes. He had trusted her, and the result was far better than anything he would have ever attempted on his own. None of their friends stayed for the entire party, but they dropped in here and there, gifts in hand. He noted with some surprise that Bernadette and Howard brought a mutual gift from the two of them. As she handed him the brightly colored gift bag, Bernadette confessed that in general, she hated kids, but she thought Caleb was rather sweet. Leonard showed up later, and this time, Mandy was with him. Sheldon was proud of the way Penny made an effort to talk to Mandy and make her feel comfortable. Mandy noticed the claddagh ring and asked about it. As Penny explained, blushing, Sheldon saw Leonard's eyes widen. Then he grinned and gave him a thumbs-up. Raj was one of the last to stop by, and Penny quickly introduced him to her friend Lauren. They were still deep in conversation as the party wound down, and cranky toddlers were being toted home by their exhausted parents for a nap.

Penny came over to him and hugged his arm with a little squeal. "See? I told you. Birthday parties don't always suck. Maybe you'll let me throw one for you when yours comes around again."

He nodded absently. His immediate thought was that all he wanted for his birthday was to replace that claddagh ring on her finger with an engagement ring… or a wedding band. HIs Meemaw, at his request, had already mailed him the Cooper family ring, heavily insured. It was sitting inside a puzzle box inside his desk drawer, waiting for the right moment. He wondered how much longer he would have to wait before she was ready. They were quite the pair, he mused. She was gradually acclimating herself to the idea of commitment, while he was taking baby steps toward the physical intimacy she wanted.

As he glanced around the party room at the wreckage of the celebration that had taken place, he wondered if this was something he had failed to properly appreciate. He had given into her idea of a party reluctantly, and he hadn't stopped to consider how much effort she had put into it. She did it for Caleb - not to curry favor with his dad, but just because she loved the little boy for himself. In fact, she was always buying little presents for Caleb. When she quit her job at the Cheesecake Factory, she had quickly asked him for permission to pick up Caleb early from day care so she could take him to the park or one of these overpriced play places. She wasn't even his fiancée yet, but she was already more of a mother to his son than he could have ever anticipated.

A fierce need to show her how much he loved her swept through him. He strode over to where Penny was gathering up some of the presents. He put his arms around her, heedless of the packages she was holding.

"I love you," he said in a low voice. Cradling her head in his hands, he kissed her passionately. In a moment, she dropped the presents to the floor and wrapped her arms around his neck. When he finally pulled away, they were both breathing hard and her cheeks were flushed.

"What was that for?" she asked with a grin. "Not that I'm complaining," she added quickly.

"Thank you for planning this party… and for convincing me to allow it," he said. He took a deep breath. It was time for him to take another step forward in their relationship. For a while, he had just been maintaining the status quo, while she had been giving so much of herself. Quickly, before he lost his nerve, he blurted out, "Will you spend the night with me?"

For a moment, her face lit up, but then her smile dimmed. "Okay, I need to know exactly what we're talking about. You're not asking me to sleep on your sofa, right? Or on the floor somewhere?"

He shook his head. "No. I'm inviting you to sleep in my bed. I hope this will allow me to adjust to the idea of intimate proximity with you."

She was silent for long enough to make him nervous. Eventually, she smiled at him. "I guess we can give it a try."

He frowned quizzically at her. "I thought you'd be pleased by my invitation."

She ran a hand through her hair and sighed heavily. "Honey, spending the night in your arms sounds perfect. But being next to you for hours when you don't want me to touch you? That could suck."

He was uncharacteristically silent for a moment. At last, he said, "If you think I wish the status of our relationship to stay the same, you're mistaken. I made you a promise, and I'm working toward fulfilling that promise."

She gazed into his eyes as if gauging his sincerity, and then she walked over to him and slid her arms around his waist. "Like I said, we'll give it a try," she murmured as she leaned her head against his chest.

* * *

The next night, she brought a small overnight bag when she came over to dinner. She tried not to make a big deal about it, although Caleb wanted to inspect it, probably to search for toys or candy. She caught Sheldon's eye and shrugged with a rueful grimace. This was all part of what she had signed up for. It wasn't easy being romantic when you had a toddler around.

They put Caleb to bed with a duet of "Soft Kitty". It was Penny's turn to choose what they watched, so she picked _American Idol,_ which Sheldon largely ignored as he played on his phone. But he had his arm wrapped around her as she curled up against his side, and that was all that mattered to her.

When her show was over, she looked at him with an expectant grin. "So, how do you want to do this?"

I've allotted ten minutes for each of us perform our nightly ablutions," he said. At Penny's raised eyebrows, he added, "Such as washing your face or brushing your teeth. We can also change in the bathroom for privacy."

"I think I'm going to change in your room," she said with a smirk. When he didn't take her bait, she sighed and rolled her eyes.

She quickly put on an oversized football jersey that came halfway down her thighs. Sheldon entered the room a few minutes later, swathed in plaid flannel pajamas and robe. She hurried to the bathroom where she rushed through her nightly routine in the most perfunctory manner. When she came back to his room, he had hung up his robe and was sitting up in bed, reading a physics magazine. She slid under the covers next to him. When he didn't look at her, she put an arm across his waist and snuggled up next to him.

"What are you doing?" he asked, sounding nervous.

"Just cuddling - nothing more, I promise. And why are you still up? Isn't it past ten o'clock?"

He fidgeted and laid his magazine aside. "I've never done this before."

Penny thought for a moment. "There was a time in your life when you'd never seen an episode of _Doctor Who_ or gone to a sci-fi convention. Maybe you felt a little nervous, but you were probably more excited because you knew you'd like it. If you really do love me, can't you try to think of this the same way."

After a long pause, Sheldon said, "All right. I'll try." He leaned over and kissed her before turning off the light. Then he held her close. She knew better than to push his boundaries. Letting her sleep in his bed was a big enough change for Sheldon. _Baby steps_ , she thought. Maybe next time, he wouldn't mind making out with her a little, and after that, maybe he would finally want to make love to her.

* * *

Penny woke to someone patting her face. Blearily, she opened her eyes to find Caleb's face just inches from her own. She barely kept from screaming. Instead, she groaned. "This is gonna take some getting used to. Morning, sweetie."

"Benny! Up, up!" he cried excitedly, reaching for her. Hoping he wasn't trying to get her out of bed, Penny pulled him up next to her and hugged him. "Where's your daddy?" she asked sleepily.

"Bweh-fis!" he shouted, making Penny wince at his volume.

"Oh, he's making you breakfast?"

"Yeah, o-meal!"

Penny laughed at that. Apparently, Sheldon already had his son accustomed to his weekly routine. Today must be oatmeal day.

Just then, Sheldon came into the room. He was dressed for the day in a green t-shirt with some kind of robot on it, and an orange thermal tee underneath. "Good morning, Penny," he said cheerfully. "I didn't expect you to be awake this early."

"Yup. Caleb decided I should get up now."

"Will you join us for breakfast?" he asked.

She wanted to say no, but the expression on his face was so happy, he was practically glowing at her. How could she resist? "Just coffee. I'm not a fan of oatmeal," she said as she swung her legs over the side of the bed.

Caleb clambered off the bed and ran to hug his dad's legs. "Daddy!" he shouted happily. Then he looked from Penny to Sheldon and back to Penny again. "Mama?" he asked hesitantly. "Mama Benny?"

Penny's breath caught in her throat. Stricken, she looked at Sheldon. He knelt down and faced his son. "It's just 'Penny' for now, but we both love you," he said.

"Okay, Daddy. O-meal!" Caleb yelled and ran out of the room.

"I didn't think about-" she began.

Sheldon sat down next to her on the bed. He took both her hands in his and touched her claddagh ring like it was a talisman. "After we are married, would you object to him calling you 'Mommy'?" he asked.

She took a deep breath. Of course, she minded… just not for the reasons he might think. She was only twenty-four, and the thought of being a parent scared her to death. She looked up at Sheldon, and suddenly she remembered how much worse instant parenthood had been for him. Yet he had not only coped, but grown into a stronger person because of it. She squeezed Sheldon's hands. "I love him almost as much as I love you," she replied. "I know I won't be a perfect parent, but I'd be honored if he called me his mom."


	23. Chapter 23

"Yes, of course I'll marry you!" Penny said. She held out her left hand. Sheldon, kneeling in front of her, slid the ring that was his family's heirloom onto her finger.

"I don't want to wait any longer," she said. "I want to get married as soon as possible… tomorrow. We can go to the courthouse tomorrow."

Sheldon felt his face stretching into a rare smile. "I can't wait to call you my wife."

"And I can't wait for you to be my husband." She tumbled into his arms, returning his kisses with sweet abandon. Entwined, they rose and made their way back to his bedroom, leaving a trail of clothes behind. Sheldon fell backward onto the bed, taking Penny with him. She straddled him, and there were no more obstacles as he arched his hips upward, straining toward her.

"I'm yours... forever," she whispered as she lowered herself down onto him. He stifled a cry as she began to ride him. Her head fell back, and she cried out his name as he thrust inside of her. There was one soft noise that was out of place, but he was barely conscious of it as waves of ecstasy swept through him. He jerked awake as his body throbbed with its release.

He was alone. He reached out and touched the indentation where Penny had been lying, and the spot was still warm. He realized that the sound he heard was the door closing as Penny walked out. He groaned in frustration. She had been right yet again. Asking her to sleep in his bed had been a mistake. This was the third time in two weeks that he had woken to a sticky mess after having erotic dreams about her, and she wasn't happy about it. The first couple of times, she had tried to talk to him; this time, she had just left. After a quick peek to make sure Caleb was still sleeping, he grabbed his spare pajamas and headed to the bathroom to take a shower.

* * *

When he saw her the following evening, she was no more inclined to discuss it than he was, so they ate their meal largely in silence. He was miserable, having no idea how much he missed her cheerful banter. By the end of the evening, his mind was made up. Their six-month mensiversary was coming up soon, and it seemed an auspicious time for what he was planning.

"Would you have dinner with me next Tuesday?" he asked as she gathered up her things. She hadn't brought an overnight bag with her that evening, not that he could blame her.

She frowned in confusion. "I have dinner with you all the time."

"This will be a special occasion. I'll get a babysitter so we can spend some time together, just the two of us."

"That sounds nice, sweetie," she answered. It might be his imagination, but he thought he detected a lack of enthusiasm in her response.

"Wear…" His nerves failed him, and his voice cracked. "Wear something that makes you feel beautiful."

Her eyes widened, and she blinked at him in surprise for several seconds before agreeing.

* * *

Tuesday was a weird night for a special date, and Penny was immediately suspicious. When she returned to her apartment, she scrolled back through her texts to Sheldon. She quickly found that Tuesday would be exactly six months since they got together. With most guys she'd dated, it would be a miracle if he even remembered how long they'd been going out. And Sheldon had been acting a little strange - at least, a different kind of strange than usual.

He'd told her to wear something that made her feel beautiful, and wasn't that exactly the kind of thing he did that made her melt a little inside. Not "wear that sexy black dress that shows off your legs" or "wear that dress that I can't wait to take off of you", like so many of her other boyfriends would've said. His request was unexpectedly romantic, and she loved that he treated her with respect instead of like arm candy. That certainly hadn't always been the case with Sheldon. They had both grown a lot over the past year.

She thought again about his odd behavior. Maybe he just wanted to celebrate a milestone in their relationship, but that shouldn't make him nervous. That left just two possibilities she could think of: either he had finally decided he was ready for sex, or he was going to propose. Over the past two weeks, it was obvious that his issues with sex were all in his head, and there was nothing she could do to change that. Maybe being together for six months was enough reassurance for him, but she doubted it. No, the more she thought about it, the more convinced she was that he was going to ask her to marry him.

Getting engaged - it was such a huge deal that she couldn't quite wrap her mind around it. She'd always thought that maybe someday she'd get married, and maybe someday she'd have kids. Now, "maybe someday" had snuck up behind her and smacked her in the face. She was beginning to regret ever using the phrase "long term" with Sheldon, who seemed to be wielding it as a weapon… or more like a security blanket. The image of him touching her promise ring flashed through her mind. He didn't voice it often, but he clearly longed for commitment as much as she just wanted sex without thinking about the future. They had both compromised, even Sheldon, who used to act like 'compromise' was a curse word.

She could try to put him off, tell him it was too soon to get engaged, but she knew he would be devastated if she did that. Sheldon was an all-or-nothing kind of guy. He was slow to trust people, but once he did so, he trusted them completely. As for her, she'd always just wanted to have fun, to take life as it came to her. She didn't want to do anything serious or consequential. But as Sheldon's personal life had collided with hers, as she had gotten sucked in by an adorable toddler and a clueless dad, she had changed too, to the point where she was open to the idea of being a mom to Caleb. Drawing in a shaky breath, she concluded that she could at least consider saying yes.

* * *

The days flew past, and Tuesday night arrived all too soon. Sheldon picked her up at her apartment, dressed in the charcoal gray suit she had picked out for him a few years ago. Her heart did a little flip when she saw him, although she couldn't tell if it was from nerves or something else. In an old-fashioned gesture, he offered his arm and then led her upstairs.

"Wait… where are we going?" she asked.

"I made some special arrangements for tonight," he answered. In just a few more seconds, they reached the top, and he pushed open the door to the roof. Penny looked around and gasped. The rooftop was lit up with strands of white Christmas lights draped everywhere. In the middle of the open-air space was a small round table with a snowy white tablecloth. As they stepped out onto the rooftop, strains of classical music began. Penny looked for the source of the sound, and to her astonishment, she saw Leonard sitting off in one corner, playing his cello. He nodded at both of them, grinning broadly, without interrupting his playing.

"I thought this was supposed to be a romantic evening. Why is Leonard here?" Penny hissed.

Sheldon looked surprised. "When he found out that tonight was a special evening for us, he volunteered to help. Actually, all of our friends did. Bernadette will be our waitress," he said, indicating a black curtain on the other side of the roof. Bernie stepped from behind the curtain and waved.

"Raj insisted on doing all the lighting and decorations," he continued. "And Howard is babysitting. He says his mother has been looking forward to meeting Caleb for some time."

"Oh," she said softly. Her throat felt like it was closing up a little. Why did Sheldon have to involve all their friends? Didn't he have any idea how much unfair pressure he was putting on her? "It's beautiful," she managed.

He led her to the table and pulled her chair out for her. Bernie quickly produced their dinners: porterhouse steaks from Penny's favorite restaurant. Everything was perfect, and yet she could hardly eat. Glancing over at Sheldon, she noticed that his food was largely untouched too.

"Are you nervous?" she asked softly.

His head jerked up, and he looked at her wide-eyed. "Why would you say that?"

"Because of all this…" She gestured to their surroundings. "You've put so much effort into making tonight special. I just don't want you to feel pressure to make any decisions about us."

He frowned thoughtfully. "On the contrary, I believe we have reached a point where change is mandated." He reached over and took her hand. "Over the past year, I've experienced significant upheaval in my life, and you were by my side, supporting me. You've helped me learn to be not just a father, but a dad who can love his son. You've loved me when it wasn't easy, when you had no hope of me returning your affections. I once told our friends that you were similar to the Nobel Prize in that you are worth any sacrifice."

Penny's free hand flew up to cover her gasp of astonishment. She blinked rapidly against the tears that were suddenly blurring her vision. All of a sudden, her fears and doubts vanished. She squeezed his hand and said, "Honey, if there's something you want to ask me, then I want you to know… my answer will be yes."

Instead of seeming happy or relieved, Sheldon looked confused. "I didn't think you would refuse me."

Her grip slackened. "You know that I'm not big on commitment. Getting engaged is really serious, and-"

"Engaged?" he whispered. All the color drained from his face.

Penny felt her own face must be just as pale. "I thought… I meant…" She stammered, gesturing helplessly at their surroundings. He pulled his hand away and rose abruptly. "Never mind. Just forget I said anything…" she began, reaching toward him, but he was already gone, racing down the stairwell like the building was on fire. The cello music came to an abrupt halt with a discordant screech.

Bernie approached as if Penny were a spooked horse. "Are you okay? What happened?" she asked.

Penny could only shake her head. "I don't know." She stood and yanked off her heels, shouldering aside Leonard, who had also come over in a vague attempt to console her. "But I'm going to find out." With that, she ran down the stairs after her boyfriend.


	24. Chapter 24

Penny didn't have far to go to find Sheldon. Bursting into his apartment, she found him standing in front of a whiteboard he had dragged into the middle of the living room. In one hand, he held an uncapped marker up to the board. The other hand held some kind of wooden box. Penny took all this in with a brief glance. Sheldon didn't look at her, but the hand that held the marker trembled and made a jagged slash on the otherwise pristine board.

"I screwed it up, didn't I?" she asked. "I never thought I would turn into one of those psycho chicks who think their boyfriend's going to propose every time he does something nice. I'm so sorry. Can we just go finish our dinner and pretend this never happened, please?"

He shook his head. Penny's heart sank as he put down the marker, carefully erased the mark, and then began to toy with the wooden cube he held in his hand.

"Are you mad at me?" she asked. He didn't answer. All of his attention was focused on the box as he flipped and turned it. Small panels slid out and disappeared. With a sigh of frustration, she glanced away, and that was when she noticed something out of place. Her jaw dropped as she saw a trail of red rose petals leading back into the bedroom. She followed them to find his bedroom awash with soft light from dozens of white pillar candles. More rose petals outlined a heart on top of immaculate white sheets. She let out a small cry of dismay as she realized how badly she had misinterpreted his actions and how thoroughly she had ruined their evening.

He was still standing in front of his whiteboard when she returned, and he quickly concealed something in his hand as she walked up to him.

"I have to know," he said. There was a harsh edge to his voice that she had only heard once before, when he had run away from his responsibilities as a father. "Did you mean what you said up on the roof? That you would say yes to any question I asked you, and you believed I meant to propose?"

She hesitated, and then slowly nodded. "It was when you said that I was worth any sacrifice. That was when I knew that I think you're worth it too."

He opened his fist, and there in the middle of his palm was a diamond ring. Penny gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. "This ring has been in my family for eight generations. Three months ago, I asked my Meemaw to send it to me," he explained. "She was so excited, but I told her that we'd just started dating. I wasn't willing to distress you by proposing before you were ready. Tonight was supposed to be about me giving you what you wanted, but… if you didn't understand before how important you are to me, I hope you do now. Do you understand why I would do everything in my power to ensure that you stay with me forever? If you really think you are ready, there is a question I would very much like to ask you."

Penny blushed as she answered, "I'm ready."

Sheldon knelt down before her and said, "Will you do me the very great honor of becoming my wife?"

"Yes," she whispered. This time, she let him put the ring on her finger. He gently removed her claddagh ring and replaced it with the Cooper family heirloom. Holding up the silver band with the entwined hands and heart, he said in a hushed voice, "You fulfilled your promise."

"Yup, and now you definitely need to kiss me," she replied as she tugged him to his feet. In that joining, she sensed that he was no longer holding back. With a roguish grin, she tilted her head at the trail of petals. "Is... all that... still on the table?"

"I think it's my turn to tell you that tonight, I will say yes to anything you ask of me," he answered, reaching for her again. There was a new surety in the way he held her, an impassioned possessiveness that sent a thrill all the way down to her toes. If this was what it took to turn Sheldon on, then she had no regrets. She pressed against him, feeling the heat of his body through his suit. He definitely had to wear suits more often, if only so she would get to take them off of him. Her fingers worked at his tie and unwound it. For a moment, she grasped the ends, knowing he had no idea what kind of fun they could have with it. Then she tugged it free and dropped it onto the floor. Later, she hoped he would be open to something like that, but tonight should only be sweet and romantic, for his sake.

Sheldon stilled and then pulled back as he felt her remove his tie. "I understand that you are eager to celebrate our new relationship status, but I don't believe we should leave our friends on the roof uniformed. If for no other reason, we ought to say something to them before they come in search of us."

"Oh, right," Penny said. She held out her left hand. "Holy cow, I can't believe I'm engaged."

"Holy _cow_?" he inquired, looking puzzled.

She shrugged with a self-deprecating laugh. "Even though 'crap' isn't much of a swear word, I've learned that it's still not something I want to teach to a two-year old."

"There was a time when the idea of becoming a parent - as well as a wife - while still in your twenties must have seemed abhorrent to you. Are you certain you have no regrets?"

She slid her arms around his waist and laid her cheek against his chest. "A year ago, I thought your twenties were all about having fun, so I drank too much, blew all my money on stuff I couldn't afford, and I never really worked hard at becoming an actress. You changed all that, and my life is so much better. So no, no regrets. What about you? When I first met you, I couldn't imagine anyone less likely to fall in love or want to get married."

"No, my whole life was focused on winning the Nobel Prize for physics. I craved the recognition because I couldn't allow myself to think that there was any other measure of a person's worth than their intelligence. It was the only way I could maintain my illusion of superiority." He smiled at her. "Becoming a parent dispelled that illusion for me. When I was at my breaking point, when I realized that all the intellect in the world couldn't equip me to be a good father, you were there to encourage me. You refused to let me give up. You became a part of me - the better part."

They were interrupted by a soft knocking at the door. "Penny?" Bernadette called.

'Hey, buddy, are you in there?" That was Leonard's voice.

Penny looked up at Sheldon with a chagrined smile. "Oops. I guess we were down here too long."

"They'll be the first to hear our good news," he replied with a shy smile. He bent down for one more quick kiss. "I love you," he whispered.

When Sheldon opened the door, Leonard took one look at his former roommate and the smile on his face, and seemed stunned. "Are you… you're…"

"We're engaged!" Penny cried, as she reached Sheldon's side. Bernadette instantly squealed and hugged her.

Leonard looked at his erstwhile roommate. "I know you probably think this is where a hearty handshake would be appropriate, but…" He reached up and hugged his best friend quickly, before he could protest. To his surprise, Sheldon returned the hug, patting him on the shoulders. "Thank you, Leonard. I never told you how much your support means to me. I know at one point, you had hopes that you and Penny-"

"Forget it, man. It wasn't in the cards. All I can see now is how happy she makes you."

Bernie, after admiring the diamond solitaire, promptly pulled out her phone and called her boyfriend. After a hurried conference, she turned back to Penny with an apologetic smile. "So I called Howard, and then he conference-called Raj, and well… they're both coming over. Raj was actually just around the corner, waiting to hear the good news. He already bought some champagne so we could drink a toast to your engagement. I hope you don't mind," she added sheepishly.

Penny's gaze locked with Sheldon's, and she knew that he was secretly touched at this show of affection from his friends. "It's okay. We don't mind."

"I thought Howard was babysitting Caleb," Sheldon objected.

Penny and Bernadette looked at each other and started laughing. "Oh, come on, you know that was just his way of wiggling out of doing any work," Bernie said in her high-pitched voice. "But I'm sure his mom adores your son. She really misses having someone to take care of. In fact, she babies Howard much more than is good for him," she added with a roll of her eyes. Then she turned to Penny. "But you haven't told us yet what happened. One minute, you were having a nice romantic dinner, and then next minute, Sheldon was running like a bat out of hell."

Penny glanced over at Sheldon. "Just a little misunderstanding," she replied. "I said something that threw his plans a little out of whack, but we got it straightened out." She reached for his hand and smiled radiantly at him.

"Oh, just go ahead and kiss already," Leonard said with a laugh.

Penny sighed in blissful contentment as Sheldon took her in his arms and kissed her for several seconds longer than she expected, given that they had an audience. When they finally led their guests into the apartment, Bernie was the first to notice the trail of rose petals. She leveled a meaningful look at Penny, who blushed a little but grinned conspiratorially and nodded. Leonard also noticed, but politely pretended that he didn't. Raj showed up soon after, with not only a bottle of champagne but also a pack of wine coolers and a few bags of chips. Sheldon eyed his armload of groceries and asked if that meant they didn't need to have an engagement party.

Penny pulled him down to her level. "Don't act that way, honey. You know they're just happy for us."

He took her left hand and raised it to his lips, brushing a kiss across her fingers right next to her new ring. "Is that a request? Because I believe I promised to say yes to whatever you want tonight."

She groaned and cast a longing look toward the bedroom. "Okay, now I'm feeling a little antisocial. When are they going to leave?"

"Howard just arrived," he answered, glancing toward the door.

She looked over and then shook her head. "If they're still hanging around by nine, I promise I'll let you kick them all out," she promised with a grin.

* * *

Penny handed Sheldon the roll of paper towels and bottle of cleaner, and he carefully put them back under the sink. "There… the place is sparkling clean again. Feel better?" she asked him.

He nodded. "Yes. You could have insisted I ignore the mess our friends left behind. I appreciate that you didn't."

She smiled at him. "Hey, I know you. If the place was a mess, it would drive you crazy, and I don't want there to be anything else on your mind later on." She cast a significant look back toward the bedroom. He took her hand and touched the ring on her finger; he knew it had become a new habit of his, but he craved the tangible reminder of how much she loved him.

"You've been very patient with me," he said in a low voice. "I don't want to make you wait any longer." Still holding her hand, he led her back to the bedroom.

She laughed a little when he had to relight all the candles. He didn't take offense. Any woman who would patiently wait while he cleaned on the night of their engagement would understand that he couldn't risk a fire hazard. Her laughter quickly faded as he slowly unzipped her dress, kissing the nape of her neck and her shoulder. She let the dress slither off her shoulders and onto the floor as she took off his suit coat and unbuttoned his shirt. He trailed his fingers down her neck and across her collarbone in a feather-light caress, then traced the curves of her cleavage in the same manner. His touch was hesitant at first, but became more sure as she moaned and begged for more. By the time he had kissed her in places he had never imagined kissing a woman, by the time they were both undressing each other with trembling and eager hands, by the time he was driving deep inside her and she arching up to meet him, he knew. This was why he had always feared any hint of physical intimacy: not from distaste or disinclination, but because he had always recognized the danger of losing himself fully - mind, body, and soul - in another person. Love, he realized, meant trusting someone so completely that he no longer had to be afraid.


	25. Chapter 25

Penny glanced over at Sheldon. He was sitting next to her on a folding chair in a darkened auditorium with dozens of other parents. Caleb's daycare had decided to put on a "educational progress showcase", basically an excuse to put the kids up on a stage so their parents could take pictures.

"You have the camcorder, right?" she whispered, leaning in toward her fiancé.

He snorted and gave her a superior look. "I don't need a camcorder. Howard installed a few custom upgrades on my phone. I now have thirty-two terabytes of memory."

"As long as we don't miss anything."

He sighed heavily. "I still don't know why you insisted I had to come subject myself to two hours of audible torture." He tugged at his collar. "Or why I had to wear a suit."

"We're here because you love your son, and you're supporting him. I'm sure _your_ mom came to all your science fairs and stuff, right?"

"Yes," he answered a bit sulkily.

"And _whose_ mom didn't support him at all and messed him up for life?"

"Leonard."

"I'd much rather have Caleb turn out like you than Leonard, wouldn't you?"

"Good Lord, yes," he said with a slight shudder.

"And about that suit…" She leaned close again and whispered, "I think you look so sexy in it. I can't wait to get you out of it once Caleb's in bed."

His eyes widened, and Penny stifled a giggle. They were already getting glares from other parents for talking, even though the curtain hadn't even gone up yet. But she loved turning him on, loved the little flicker of his eyelids and the betraying twitches that said his attention had suddenly been diverted. She liked to imagine that with his eidetic memory, once he started thinking about her in that way, he had a hard time thinking of anything else.

A smattering of applause began as the curtain rose. Penny glanced again at the program, although she knew Caleb's group would be the fourth one on stage. One of the teachers led her students out. This class was an older group, and a few of them waved or called out to their parents. She grinned, but felt a pang of sadness as she watched the antics of the kids.

She had changed so much in the past months, but her subconscious apparently still had a few surprises in store for her. She'd grown to love Caleb more than she ever thought possible. Most of her days off were spent taking the little boy to the park, or the aquarium, or to the mall that had the kiddie train in the center. But she was aware, more and more often, of how much of his life she had missed. His first steps, his first word, tiny finger and toes, and a helpless infant that would fit in the crook of her arm. She was beginning to think she was going a little crazy _,_ because she wanted all that. She wanted a baby. It was hard to even imagine how much Sheldon might freak out if she told him. He'd almost suffered a mental breakdown when he first found out he had a son.

 _But he's such a good father now_ , the other voice in her head argued. She'd never imagined she would get to this point. Unlike Bernie, she didn't hate kids, but before Caleb, she'd never been very enthusiastic about them either. But people could change; Sheldon was proof of that. So were most of her friends, actually. Shortly after Sheldon proposed, Leonard had borrowed his rooftop idea and finally convinced Mandy to make their engagement real. According to Sheldon, Howard had gone with Leonard to pick out the ring for Mandy and had asked a number of pointed questions himself. So even Howard, the perpetual pervert, had proved himself capable of growth. So wasn't she allowed to change her mind, too?

* * *

Sheldon shifted his son's limp weight against his shoulder. His son exhaled a sugary-sweet breath against his neck and barely stirred as they began to climb the stairs to their apartment.

"He did great, didn't he?" Penny asked, glancing at the little boy with a smile. "I can't believe he stood up in front of that huge crowd and sang songs with his class. He was so well behaved. He didn't cry or run off or anything." Both Penny and Sheldon had been impressed by his confidence. It may have led them to allow him more sweets than usual at the reception afterward, and now he was slumped in a sugar-induced stupor on his dad's shoulder.

"Or faint," Sheldon added. "He must get his aplomb from his birth mother… or perhaps he learned it from you somehow. You exert a significant influence on his development."

She smiled back at him. "Want me take him? Four flights is a lot of steps to climb when you're carrying a toddler."

"Carrying him isn't difficult… not anymore, at least. I suppose I've built up some endurance," he answered.

"You've built up some muscle, too," Penny answered, running her hand along his bicep. "Don't think I didn't notice."

He glanced at her with a shy smile hovering around the corners of his mouth. She responded by batting her eyelashes at him in return, and suddenly, he was impatient to get upstairs to the privacy of what was now their apartment (Penny had moved in a few weeks after the engagement). They climbed another half flight in companionable silence.

"Imagine the muscles you'd build if you were carrying two kids," Penny said suddenly. She was giving him a look he couldn't quite decipher.

"Fortunately, thanks to modern birth control, we don't have to contemplate such a possibility."

Penny was silent for a few more steps. "Would it be such a bad thing?" she finally asked.

He jerked to a halt halfway between the second and third floor landings. "Carrying two children?" he asked cautiously.

"Having two. Having another one," she said without meeting his eyes.

He couldn't move, just stood there staring at his fiancée. They'd been engaged for slightly over five months and hadn't even seriously discussed setting a date. Surely, she couldn't be suggesting that she wanted to conceive a child. "How… how would we accomplish that?" he asked in a voice that shook a little.

She grinned. "Your mom did have that talk with you at some point, right?" Then she dropped her gaze. "It doesn't have to be right away. That would be… crazy. But do you think some day, you might want another kid? Caleb could have a little brother or sister to play with. His teacher says he gets along really good with the rest of his class."

Sheldon started moving upward again, although his thoughts were in a whirl as he mounted the steps.

"Sheldon!" Penny had to run to catch up with him. "Okay, fine. I'm sorry I sprung this on you. I won't bring it up again."

They reached their apartment, and he fumbled for his keys with shaking hands. She took them from him and unlocked the door without comment. He walked into the living room and looked around his home with a fresh perspective. The tiny kitchen, the bookshelves filled with textbooks and superhero figurines, the desk taking up the space intended for a dining room table… it was definitely a bachelor pad.

With a frown, she hauled the sleeping toddler out of his arms and walked off towards Caleb's room. When she returned a few minutes later, he hadn't moved. He was staring off into the middle distance, and he startled when she took his arm.

"Honey, you're scaring me now."

He gazed down at her, and the overwhelming emotion that he felt caused a shudder to run through his thin frame. With trembling hands, he framed her face, bent down to her and kissed her as if he would never let go. Her squeak of surprise turned into a throaty purr as she melted into his arms. He was kissing that delicate spot behind her ear that made her legs go weak when she gasped, "Not that I'm complaining - oh, right there – but what did I do to turn you into – ahhh – Mr. Love Machine?"

He laughed at that while still kissing her throat, and she arched against him as the vibrations traveled along her skin. He pulled back to look at her, but could barely quell the urge to keep kissing her. His hands caressed her curves, traced the line of her back while he slowly unzipped her dress.

"You want to have my child," he explained, pushing the straps of her colorful frock down to expose the graceful lines of her shoulders. "Not because I am a genius, but almost in spite of my brilliance. No one has ever made me feel so loved." He turned his attention to the sheer black lace of her bra, rubbing his thumbs across the tight buds of her nipples. She cried out, clinging to him for support. "I could spend the rest of my life worshipping at your feet, and we would never be even." He reached down, placed his hands behind her thighs, and with a sudden movement, lifted her. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he staggered a few paces until she was trapped between the wall and his body. He pushed the sheer fabric out of his way and lowered his head. Her inarticulate moans were all the aphrodisiac he needed.

Hardly able to contain himself any more, he slid a hand up her thigh and gasped when he found no cloth barrier in the way. "You're not wearing any…"

"Took you long enough to figure that out," she panted. She had his belt undone and his fly unzipped in one swift move. His pants fell down around his ankles, and he couldn't even spare a thought for them as she wrapped her hand around his length. He did swear, but only in private, only when Penny touched him that way.

"Take me, now," she demanded, and he obliged. She rode him until they both lost themselves in mindless pleasure.

When it was all over, he lowered her and touched the wall with a frown. "I should not have allowed my ardor to override my concern for your well-being. You could have developed contusions from your collision with the hard surface."

"Hell, no. That was the best sex of my life," she said with a laugh. He looked at her, with her golden hair tousled around her face and her skin rosy and glowing in post-coital bliss.

"Sweetie, you're staring," she laughed again.

"I can't look away. You're so beautiful." He picked up their clothing, since they were a tripping hazard. Taking her hand, he led her back to their bedroom. By the time he had carefully hung up his suit and her dress in the designated closet area for dry cleaning, he turned to find her stretched out on the bed, watching him. He left his Friday pajamas, neatly folded, on the night stand as he reached for her once again.

* * *

"I want you to be my wife," he said into the darkness as he held Penny against his chest. He slid his hand down to rest on her abdomen. "Before you conceive," he added. "I have no right to demand anything of you, but it would mean a lot to me."

She shifted, turned to face him. "What if I'm not ready?"

He was silent for a moment. "Then you will still be the queen of my heart, and I, your loyal subject. I will lay all that I am at your feet and hope that you deem it worthy of your notice."

She sighed. "When did you get so romantic?"

"When I fell in love with you."

She began laughing. "I hate you, you know. How am I supposed to say no to that? Fine, pick a date, any date. Just give me at least a few months to plan. As much grief as you've given me over this whole marriage thing, you can bet I'm only going to do it once."

She had her own way of obfuscating, and he was familiar enough with it by now to decipher what she was really saying. He pulled her into his arms, rolled with her until he ended up on top and kissed her breathless. "So you'll marry me on any day I choose, after two months' notice?"

"Three months – don't push your luck," she grumbled.

He linked hands with her and pulled her arms up over her head. "I love you," he whispered in her ear. She felt his thumb caress her ring finger as he pushed inside of her again.


	26. Chapter 26

Sheldon carefully adjusted his tie in the mirror. It wasn't really compromise, he mused, if two people both got what they wanted. One could even call it serendipity. He and Penny were getting married, and she was going to have a baby - _his_ baby. She made him swear he wouldn't tell anyone until after the wedding, but he was so excited that it was one of the most difficult things she'd ever asked of him. Fortunately, the ban would be lifted soon, less than two hours by his calculations, and then he was going to tell everyone.

Leonard came up to his side and gave his shoulder a quick pat. "Are you nervous?"

"No," Sheldon replied. "I just wish it were already over. I calculate there's still approximately a three percent probability that Penny will bolt halfway down the aisle."

Leonard shook his head. "She wouldn't do that. She loves you too much." He tilted his head up to look at his best friend and grinned. "Wow, I can't believe it. You're getting married."

"It's your turn next," Sheldon said with a glint of humor in his eyes.

"Don't be so sure. Howard and Bernie could go first, you know. They haven't set a date yet."

Sheldon frowned. "Of the four of us, Raj is the only one not involved in a serious relationship. Do you think he's dissatisfied with his current bachelor status? Penny thinks he's lonely."

"I think he'll be glad he's the only single guy in the wedding party. Something about weddings makes girls' hormones go crazy. He'll have his pick of all the bridesmaids…. except for Bernadette, of course."

"I still have no idea what could possibly be appealing about the prospect of a casual sexual liaison with different women," he objected with a moue of distaste.

"I guess it's not for everybody. You're just a one-woman man," Leonard said with a shrug.

Just then, Missy stuck her head in the door. "Ten minutes, little brother. Oh, you look so handsome!" With a squeal, she sidled into the room and threw her arms around her brother, who tolerated the embrace with unusual sufferance.

"I can't believe you're gettin' married first," she exclaimed, brushing invisible lint off Sheldon's suit coat.

"Junior was married," he pointed out equably.

"For all of five minutes. That doesn't count. I know you, Shelly. You're never gonna let her go, are you?"

His face softened as he thought of the woman he loved. "No, never."

"Sheldon, it's almost—eep!"

He turned to see Raj staring wide-eyed at Missy. Raj pointed emphatically at his wrist and then retrieved a silver flask from his pocket, uncapped it and took a swig.

"Well, hello again, cutie," Missy drawled.

Sheldon glanced back and forth between his friend and his sister. Then he scowled. He recognized that honeyed tone of voice that Missy used when she was on the prowl like an alley cat in heat. He just never thought he would hear it directed at one of his friends.

"Raj, under absolutely no circumstance whatsoever are you to attempt to initiate coitus with my sister," he snapped.

Missy seemed to inflate like an angry toad. "I seem to recall we've been through this before, Shelly. And the only reason I'm not junk-punching you right now is because that would be a cruel thing to do to Penny on her wedding night." She smirked at him. "Assuming you can figure out what to do with what God gave you."

Riled, Sheldon glared at her. "Given that Penny is approximately six weeks pregnant, I can assure you that I am not deficient in any way." In a split second, the reality of what he's done hit him. He never could keep a secret. _Good Lord, Penny's going to kill me_ , he thought. They all gaped at him: Leonard, Raj and Missy.

Raj found his voice first, his tongue perhaps loosened by the alcohol. "Dude, that's awesome. Congratulations."

Leonard echoed Raj, but his voice squeaked and his eyes were big as saucers. Missy just grinned wickedly and asked, "Does Mom know?"

Another knock at the door, and Howard stuck his head in. "Hey guys, we're up…" He faltered as he saw their faces. "What's going on?"

"Penny's pregnant!" Raj sang out.

Howard's face took on a gloating look. "Oh, yeah, that." He shrugged in a studiedly casual manner while his eyes danced with glee. "I've known for a couple of weeks now, but Bernie swore me to secrecy."

Sheldon sighed noisily. "I promised her that I would keep it a secret until after the wedding, although apparently, she has neglected to hold up her end of that deal. As long as the four of you can manage not to gossip during the wedding ceremony, I suppose I can consider my side of the bargain met."

"Another one?" Leonard protested belatedly. "But your apartment's not big enough…"

Sheldon waved his hand like he wass shooing away a fly. "Gentlemen… and sister… I have no intention of keeping my bride waiting. I am going to get married. You can either stand up beside me as my closest friends, or I will wait for her alone, but none of you will deter me." There was that fierce light in his eyes again, the one that caused Raj to once say that Sheldon in love was a little scary. He tugged on his tuxedo, making sure it was straight, before striding from the room. With startled glances at each other, his friends quickly followed. Missy whispered something in Raj's ear that made him blush before heading in the opposite direction to take her place as one of Penny's bridesmaids.

* * *

The only hitch in the ceremony involved Caleb. Sheldon had argued that his son was far too young to act as ringbearer, but it was hard to deny his future bride anything she wanted, especially when she bravely struggled through morning sickness each day without complaint. In fact, what he had feared Penny would do was exactly what his son did instead: turn and run when he was halfway down the aisle, flinging aside the pillow to which the rings had - thankfully - been securely attached. With his long legs, Sheldon caught up with his son in a few strides. Caleb fussed and squirmed in his arms. Undeterred, Sheldon quickly pulled a lollipop out of his pocket and offered it to his son. Instantly, all Caleb's attention was on the candy. As he stuck it in his mouth, Sheldon asked him, "Do you remember what we talked about?" Hoisting his son on his hip, he picked up the pillow and showed it to the toddler. "Remember what I told you about these rings?"

"Maddick!" Caleb cried.

"That's right; these are magic rings. When Daddy and Penny put these on, then Penny will be your mommy."

"Mama Penny!" he shouted loudly.

There was laughter and a few adoring sighs from their friends and family. Sheldon ignored them. "That's right, but the magic will only work if you go give the rings to her." He set his son on his feet and held out his hand. "Shall we go give them to her together?"

"Yeah!" Caleb grabbed the pillow, leaving sticky red smears on the white satin. Sheldon glanced up to find Penny quivering with suppressed laughter. Caleb all but hauled him down the aisle and then pressed the pillow against her leg. "Are you my mommy now?"

She picked him up and hugged him. "When your daddy and I say 'I do', then I'll be your mommy." She glanced over at Sheldon, and they shared a private look, knowing that she would be a mother soon in more than one way.

When Missy came up and tried to take her nephew out of Penny's arms, he immediately started fussing again, clinging to her neck. She shrugged and laughed. "No, it's all right. Actually, it's perfect. Shh, sweetheart, it's okay. You can stay right here with me and be part of the magic." With brimming eyes, she looked at Sheldon. "You'd better hurry and put that ring on my finger because I can't wait to kiss you."

The minister read through the rest of the ceremony in a relatively short period of time. When Penny slid the unadorned platinum band on Sheldon's finger, she deliberately rubbed her thumb over it, and his eyes lit up.

The minister intoned, "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the-" He stopped, looked at the couple locking in an embrace, and chuckled. "I guess they don't need me to tell them what to do."

Sheldon had already pulled his bride into his arms before the minister had finished speaking. While his kiss was chaste, it was also passionate.

As they led the procession down the aisle with Caleb still clinging to his new mother, Missy sighed. "I wish someone would love me like that." Then she cast a speculative glance over at Raj.

* * *

Penny had been dreading telling Sheldon's ultra-religious mother about her pregnancy, but since they had just gotten married, and especially since she wasn't even showing, Mary's response was to throw her arms around her new daughter-in-law and cry.

"I never thought I'd see the day when my little Shelly got married," she cried. "You make him so happy, darlin'. Promise me you'll take good care of him."

"I promise," she answered with a huge smile.

"And you-" This was to her son. "If you mess this up or hurt the feelings of that lovely new wife of yours, you'll have me to answer to,"

"Yes, mommy," he said timidly.

"And don't you think it's high time you called me 'Mom' instead?" she asked, giving him a gimlet stare.

"Yes, Mo- Mom."

* * *

Penny took her new husband's hand and led him toward the dance floor as the band started playing the first song. (What would Sheldon like to hear?) She cut off his protest before he could even begin. "Howard told me all about those dance lessons at the senior center," she said, laughing. "So don't even try to tell me you don't dance."

"Drat," he said, but he was smiling as he did so. He was, as Penny discovered, a passable dancer. His dread of anything that required physical coordination was, in her opinion, undeserved. As the next song began, he handed her off to her father with a slight bow.

"Are you happy, slugger?" was the first thing her father said to her.

"You have no idea," she replied, beaming. She waited a good thirty seconds after that to tell him he was going to be a grandfather again.

After that, she danced with Sheldon's older brother George, and then Leonard, Raj and even Howard in turn. Sheldon was sitting on the sidelines, deep in conversation with his Meemaw, who cuddled a sleepy Caleb on her lap. Every so often, he would glance up, and his whole face seemed to light up whenever he saw her.

* * *

Sheldon watched his bride, glowing with happiness, as she danced with almost every single one of her guests. Finally, he claimed her from the dance floor, and with a furtive look around, led her away from the noisy crowd and down a dimly-lit corridor.

"What are we doing back here?" she asked, laughter in her voice.

"I just wanted some privacy-" Whatever he was going to say next was cut off as Penny wound her arms around his neck and planted a kiss on him that he felt all the way down to his toes.

"Woman, you are messing with forces beyond your ken," he said with a lopsided smile. "And I promise my ken will kiss your barbie… later."

Penny giggled. "Why, Dr. Cooper, did you just make a dirty joke?"

"Did I?" he asked innocently, but there was a twinkle in his eyes. Then he reached into his pocket. "I have something for you. I understand that it's a tradition for the bride and groom to exchange presents on their wedding day." Her mouth dropped open in dismay, and before she could respond, he continued, "You have already given me a gift of immeasurable value - your love. My present can't possibly compare, but…" He handed her a small box, about the right size for a pin or brooch. She lifted the lid.

"A key? I don't understand."

"The night you told me you wanted to have a child, my child, I looked around our apartment and realized that it was entirely inadequate for the needs of a growing family. Not to mention that I want to wring the super's neck every time I think of my pregnant girlfriend - now my pregnant wife - climbing four flights of stairs. So I found us a new place to live. It's got four bedrooms, and a real backyard with a swing set. The kitchen is rather small, but since neither of us cook often…" He shrugged. "It's rent-to-own, so if you like it, it can be ours someday." He pulled out his phone and quickly showed her some pictures he had taken. To his relief, she beamed.

"It looks great. I can't wait to see it in person." Then her eyes widened. "A house, one kid and another on the way… it's kind of crazy, but in a good way," she hastened to add.

His face took on a furtive, almost guilty look. "I… might be adding a little more craziness to our existence," he confessed.

"What? What did you do?" she demanded.

"I know we were both concerned about how Caleb would react to our absence, and I know you said we didn't need a fancy honeymoon, but I thought you deserved one, so…" He took out his phone again and swiped to the next photo.

She stared in confusion. "Honey, that's a dog."

"Yes. It's a Pomeranian-pug hybrid, to be precise. They are said to be good with children, highly intelligent, adaptable and easy to train. Plus, this one is a puppy, so he'll have lots of energy… the perfect companion for a young boy. My mother is planning to stay at our apartment with Caleb. Hopefully, a new puppy will be enough of a distraction that he won't miss us terribly. I booked us a suite in a hotel right on the beach. If he does miss us, she'll bring him by during the day, and we can take him to the beach."

She let out a soft cry and put her arms around his neck again. "Now I know how much you love me if you're willing to move, and buy a puppy, and honeymoon on the beach…" She pulled back and looked at him, her eyes dancing with suppressed laughter. "What are you even going to do on the beach?"

"I imagine I'll retreat under a very large umbrella and read scientific journals on my phone," he answered.

"And maybe build sand castles with your son?"

"And maybe watch my wife stretch herself out in the sun like a pampered housecat… and build sand castles with my son," he conceded with a smirk.

She grinned at him. "Look at the two of us. You, actually choosing to bring all this chaos into your life and me, up to my eyebrows in commitment. It's crazy, in the very best possible way."

His smile echoed her own. "I've rarely been accused of being sane. Why not embrace the chaos?"

She pulled his head down to hers. "You know what? If this is crazy, then I love crazy." She kissed him again, and he knew that he could weather anything life could throw at them, as long as she was by his side.

* * *

 **A/N:** If any of you are like me, you just about fell off your chair laughing the first time you saw Frozen, when Prince Hans tells Anna he loves crazy. ("Said no guy ever!" I instantly had to point out to my husband.) Somehow, that line worked its way into the end of my story, since Penny obviously loves crazy if she loves Sheldon. Hope you enjoyed reading my latest craziness.


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